It was time.
Football broadcaster and former coach John Madden announced his retirement yesterday at age 73. It probably makes sense, seeing as his man-crush, Brett Favre, also finally called it quits in 2009.
There will be things I will miss about you, John. Your steadfast love for the game of football, for one. That energetic and colorful commentary will also be missed. And I know there are no other broadcasters who will tell me, “If your arm gets hit, the ball is not going where you want it to.” Football season won’t be the same without someone around to constantly overstate the obvious.
I know there was a love-him-or-hate-him kind of relationship between Madden and his viewers. I myself fall into the former category. There was just something about my jaw dropping when he said, “Here’s a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.” That was amusing. You know, in that “I can’t believe he actually thought that was insightful” kind of way.
Of course, that’s also why people grew tired of him; you can only state the obvious so many times before guys hit the mute button. I myself can recall a few times where I decided I’d rather listen to the dishwasher run than Madden’s commentary. But inevitably, I would turn him back on. I just didn’t have the heart to do that to you, John. The truth is, you do know what you’re talking about.
I mean, here’s a guy who when his team scored more points than the other team, usually won football games. Say what you will about his broadcasting, but a 112-39-7 NFL coaching record is nothing to scoff at. Neither is a Super Bowl ring. People forget that at one time, the man knew what he was doing.
Alas, that time has passed. Still, Madden won 16 Emmy awards for sports broadcasting. But I got the sense some people hoped he would finally quit. We all know Al Michaels has secretly been crossing the days off on calendars for a few years now. As incoherent as Madden’s ramblings sometimes were, the looks of pure confusion on Michaels’ face were priceless. But deep down Michaels knows he spitefully enjoyed being teamed with the man.
And what’s there not to enjoy about him? Plenty of people owe a lot to Madden. Leonard Reiffel might top the list. For those of you who haven’t heard the name, he’s the guy who invented the telestrator. The thing might never have become popular if not for Madden’s unintelligible diagrams. EA Sports owes pretty much everything to him, as Madden Football is the gold standard for sports video games. And where would the turducken be without Madden?
There is however, one man who more than anyone should be funding his retirement party: Frank Caliendo. The comedian owes a lot of his success (and his crappy TV show) to the man he became famous for impersonating. If NBC finds it misses John’s constant stream of Maddenisms, Caliendo could probably step right in with his spot-on impression. The only difference is Caliendo overstates to be funny; Madden overstates because it’s who he is.
And that’s just it. Madden is who he is, and he’s never apologized for it. No matter what you think of him, there’s no denying Madden is an inherently likable guy. There’s a definite difference between being a sports analyst and a sports personality. Pat Summerall was a voice, but Madden was a character. After all, it takes something special to sell antifungal spray (boom!).
The biggest shame is there’s nobody to step into his shoes. There’s a definite void in the sports broadcasting world that probably will never be filled. I dare you to name another guy that has what it takes to be the icon Madden is. NBC couldn’t; that’s why they tagged that waste of space Cris Collinsworth to fill Madden’s slot. The studio must have figured if it couldn’t convince Madden to return, they’d make watching football so unbearable the public demand he come back.
But yes, it was time Madden retired. For his sake alone though, not ours. He needed time with his family and his retirement ensures he’ll never have to worry about putting a foot on an airplane again if he doesn’t want to. Here’s hoping he’s remembered for being a great coach and a knowledgeable (if sometimes inarticulate) broadcaster. Not just a comedian’s act or that guy in the Tinactin commercials. I mean, the man isn’t just a football guy; as far as video games are concerned, he is football.
And as for Collinsworth, his replacement? Here’s a guy who makes Madden come off like Shakespeare.
Adam is a sophomore majoring in journalism. Like John Madden or glad to see him go? Have a favorite Madden story or comment? E-mail Adam at [email protected].