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The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

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Technology takes odiferous route

You are walking down the street and your cell phone starts to ring. You pick it up and a mechanical voice answers, “Warning, warning, you have bad breath.” A bit offended by the bluntness of your usually kind-hearted fifth appendage, you get out a stick of gum to fix the problem.

This may at first seem like a neat concept, a cell phone that can detect bad breath and other unpleasant odors. It could really come in handy when you are on you way to your boyfriend or girlfriend’s house and want to know if you are giving off any foul scents. It would be nice to pick up your trusty cell phone and ask, because, let’s be honest, sometimes it is a little embarrassing asking your friends to smell your arm pits.

Lucky for us, this new technology is just around the corner.

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Last week a German telecommunications company announced they are coming out with a new device that will alert users of bad breath and offensive smells. A spokesperson for the company told Reuters the one-millimeter chip would detect anything from bad breath to alcohol to atmospheric gas levels.

What a breakthrough? At first glance this seems like a pretty neat idea.

But on second examination, when has our ever-growing dependence on the world of technology gone too far?

I am not sure I could let a cell phone be the judge of whether or not I smell good. What if it does not like my new perfume? I could not just throw it out because it did not meet my cell phone’s standards.

Smell can be based on a matter of opinion, I would have to take time to get to know my cell phone better before I could learn to trust it.

And there is always the chance it will malfunction and tell me my breath is okay when in actuality it smells of garlic and onion. I would walk around all night thinking my breath smelled minty clean when in fact I was scaring people away.

Moreover, even if I did know that my breath smelled and I had body odor, what am I to do if I do not have a pack of gum and a stick of deodorant? My already extremely full purse would have to make room for perfume and toothpaste.

Giving technology a personality is not the answer. Once a cell phone can detect bad odors what is next? This tiny chip could be installed in your car, your disc-man or your desk chair. No matter where you went you would have to know if you smell okay. You could no longer come home from a hot sweaty workout without alarms and warnings reminding you that an immediate shower is necessary.

A whole new kind of technology could be unleashed. The same chip could be inserted in our shoes to alert us if our feet smell. And then a mirror could be invented that lets us know if the clothes we are wearing are flattering. Next it would be the brush that reminds us to wash our hair and the television set that tells us we have not gotten in the recommended one hour of exercise that day.

I think I would rather smell than have a cell phone and other technological devices giving commentary about by life.

When we give technology a personality, it has gone too far!

Lindsay Mosher () is a sophomore intending to major in journalism.

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