I am going to start today’s column with a little bit of history. Please, forgive me — I promise it will all come together shortly.

Did you know that the term landlord dates all the way back to feudal Europe during the Middle Ages? I didn’t think you did. I didn’t either until I consulted an encyclopedia.

At a time when there was little security, the feudal system fulfilled the basic need for government, justice and protection against attack.

To make a long story short, the feudal system worked because it centered on the relationship between the land-owning aristocrats and the working peasants. The landlord gave the peasants a plot of land in exchange for military and other services. Each was bound to the other by honor.

Let’s fast-forward to today, several thousands of miles away, in Madison, Wisconsin. The same relationship exists. Students are given a plot, whether an apartment or home, in exchange for services, namely rent. The similarities seem to end there, however. The part about one being bound to the other by honor has gone straight to the shitter.

Students have kept up their end of the bargain, paying ridiculously expensive rent every month. In my experience, and those of my friends, however, landlords have failed to live up to theirs.

Before I begin to rant and curse, I must admit that there are decent landlords and leasing agencies out there. To the five or six of you — congratulations on doing your job. The rest of you need to wise up.

I can only speak from personal experience with lousy landlords, but believe me; there is enough experience to fill several of these columns.

My first experience was last year: Misery on Monroe Street. This dilapidated shack served as my residence during my senior year here at UW-Madison.

For $1700 a month, my five roommates and I were treated to leaky ceilings, heat that worked only during the summer months and a basement that flooded every time we were graced with more than drizzling rain. We got so much water in the basement, in fact, that we thought about making it into a pool and charging admission to the neighborhood kids in order to help pay the exorbitant rent every month.

I know what you’re thinking: “Hey, it’s a basement, what do you expect?” Normally I would agree with you, but my landlord counted that wonderful basement as one of the bedrooms in this five-bedroom mansion, which probably helped him to justify the $1700 monthly price tag.

Fortunately, this year has been a vast improvement. My room no longer floods, the heat works occasionally during the winter and thus far, flooding of biblical proportions has been avoided.

One problem exists, however: The house leans. And I don’t mean a little. I’m talking sickening angles, here. Anyone who has ever visited the “Leaning Tower” can testify to that. Carpenters, or whoever built this place, had cricks in their necks, lacked a level or had a serious addiction to elicit drugs. The dog actually slides across the wood floor whenever he enters one of these leaning rooms.

But, hey, what can you expect for $2000 a month?

In each case, I tried to make the best of the situation. I had roommates that I really liked being around and together we made each house inhabitable. But let’s face it — you can’t really make horseshit into ice cream.

The most frustrating aspect of the whole situation is the inability to bring about change for students living in Madison’s downtown neighborhoods. Every downtown political figure has failed students on this issue. Every election the catch phrase “tenants’ rights” gets thrown around at newspapers and at student groups. Yet, almost every time a developer brings a new housing plan or apartment complex to the City Council, it is rejected.

The City Council says the underlying reason for the rejections is its desire to preserve the culture and aesthetics of the downtown neighborhoods.

To these elected officials: wake up. The fact remains that a great deal of the downtown culture is made up of students who are sick and tired of paying large sums of money, which they don’t have, for substandard housing they have no choice but to live in. I implore elected officials and landlords to do their jobs. Students deserve better.

Zach Fehrenbach ([email protected]) is a UW alumnus.