Langdon Street has been home to the Greek life community for over 150 years.
There are of course your typical fraternities and sororities, but the lesser known part of Langdon’s legendary presence is Greek life families — blood-related relatives living life the good-to-god Greek way.
The reason these Greek families chose Langdon Street to be their home remains unclear, and doctors are still unsure how these families are exclusively having daughters or sons.
It is common among these families that all the children attend the University of Wisconsin, specifically the UW School of Business. It is not out of the ordinary for parties to be thrown at the houses on this street by the familial houses. But this past weekend, an unprecedented event occurred that shocked this beloved community.
A group of brothers that live in the Yo Gabba Gabba house thought it would be a good idea to throw a kegger while their mother was at the movie theater with someone she had met on Tinder.
This idea quickly took a dark turn due to the fact that their mother was going to see the new movie “Dune” starring Zendaya. And “Dune” is only 155 minutes long. Ms. Yo Gabba Gabba arrived at her Langdon Street home after the movie and opened her door to see the final moments of the craziest 155-minute party ever.
“I don’t know how a party could possibly get so out of hand in under 155 minutes,” said the neighboring family’s mother who has all daughters. “My daughters were going to attend, but it was over by the time they got ready. People were all over the roof of the Yo Gabba Gabba house, people were lighting off fireworks inside the house. And I am not totally sure, so don’t quote me on this, but I think I saw a giraffe doing a beer bong in the backyard. Seriously, don’t quote me on that.”
Other families that reside on the street said they thought about calling the police, but came to the conclusion that Ms. Yo Gabba Gabba coming home would be scarier and more effective than law enforcement.
After Ms. Yo Gabba Gabba kicked out anyone who wasn’t one of her sons, she gave her sons an earful, to say the very least.
“Dude we have been yelled at before, but this was traumatizing,” said one of her traumatized sons who wishes to remain anonymous. “I almost wet my salmon colored shorts. I had to get a dictionary out to see what some of the words she was using even meant! Not because they were exotic curse words, I’m just not really the sharpest tool in the silverware shed.”
The mother does not wish to speak on the situation at this time, but a source confirms that she has grounded each and every one of her sons for at least six months without parole. She also revoked electronic privileges.
“Brah what am I going to do without my phone, I am nothing without my phone!” said another one of Ms. Yo Gabba Gabba’s sons. “How will people know that I just got this new vineyard vines shirt? How am I gonna know if I got any new matches on bumble? We can’t even go to the KK?! ugh this is so lame. I knew we should’ve convinced her to go to her Tinder date’s house to watch the Irishman instead.”
In the aftermath of this odd situation, Langdon Street Greek families are cracking down on their sons and daughters. Ms. Yo Gabba Gabba has been trying to set a precedent of punishment that would deter any other groups of siblings from making the same mistake her sons made.
The university has not yet released a statement regarding the situation. But the word on the street is that the university also believes the mother’s punishment was more than enough but stands by her no matter what happens.