Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

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Confessions of an Econ major: I can’t count

It’s the longest (e)con in history….
Confessions+of+an+Econ+major%3A+I+cant+count

We expect the economists of our world to be amongst the best and brightest humanity has to offer. Entrusted with the security and longevity of our economic systems, they must be armed with an arsenal of analytic tools to make sense of an ever increasingly interconnected global economy.

This arsenal is comprised of one basic subject — math. In fact, the math utilized in modern economics can be so complex to the point all you untrained dummies think it’s a foreign language and get economists kicked off of planes for suspected terrorism.

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I’m one to talk, though. I can’t even fucking count. That’s right, I’m coasting through the UW Econ department and I can barely tell you how many fingers you’re holding up.

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You might be inclined to ask, “how is this possible?” Well, it’s simple, economics is fake. Especially your favorite economist — everything they wrote is 100% made up.

 If you ask daddy Powell at the Fed some bullshit question like “what’s your long run inflation target” or “what unemployment rate should be considered full employment,” I can guarantee you he’s pulling the answer out of his ass.

Is there math involved? Yeah, probably. But even people who use math can be faking it. Newton used math to prove a bunch of shit but he thought he could turn metal into gold and died eating mercury.

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So, I decided to skip the whole math thing and just kinda wing it. It’s worked out so far, honestly. Oh, you want me to do a derivative? You want me to tell you what happens to inflation when unemployment drops by 2%? Fuck off.

I know the general shape of a supply and demand curve and I’m riding that shit all the way to the graduation stage.

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