Picture this: it’s Friday! Time for your weekend getaway. Maybe you’re visiting your long-distance boyfriend (I’ll be honest, it probably won’t last), or maybe you’re heading home for the weekend.

Whatever it is, you’re a college student, meaning you probably want to save money on that flight. So what do you do? The answer is obvious — book a flight with Spirit Airlines! The cheap of the cheap. The crème de la crème of shitty airlines.

But when you’re making your travel plans, be sure to factor in a four-hour delay — it’s almost inevitable. If you happen to find yourself sitting in an airport for hours on end (you will), you might wonder “What the hell am I going to do for all this time?”

I attempted to eat 100 shrimp at Red Lobster for my birthdayRed Lobster on a Wednesday evening is much more packed than one might assume, though I’m not sure what day Read…

Fear not. I have the answers. Here are 19 things you can do to entertain yourself while you are waiting for your flight.

  1. Drink wine at the airport bar
  2. Drink beer at the airport bar
  3. Eat the Rich
  4. Drink vodka at the airport bar
  5. Call your mom
  6. Tweet at the airline, await a response that isn’t coming
  7. Hit on a TSA agent
  8. After being rejected by the TSA agent, go on Tinder, find a date, meet them for dinner, go back to their place, date for a while, get engaged, have a few kids, send the kids off to college, retire
  9. Call your mom again
  10. Read The Badger Herald
  11. Take the GRE
  12. Bankrupt the coworking company WeWork and throw international real estate markets into a tailspin
  13. Pee
  14. Call your mom … again
  15. Fly to your destination — and back — on a different airline
  16. You’re probably sober again by now … back to the bar
  17. Get a job at an airport kiosk, work for 3 hours, make enough to buy a ticket on Delta
  18. Conduct research on airport shops — is there a correlation between proximity to gates and prices? Distance from the entrance and customers’ sweatiness? Time of day and outfit choice? Develop your hypothesis, construct a methodology, carry out your experiment, get peer reviewed and published!
  19. Write a banter article in The Badger Herald

And I bet you’ll still have time to spare!