Picture this: it’s Friday! Time for your weekend getaway. Maybe you’re visiting your long-distance boyfriend (I’ll be honest, it probably won’t last), or maybe you’re heading home for the weekend.
Whatever it is, you’re a college student, meaning you probably want to save money on that flight. So what do you do? The answer is obvious — book a flight with Spirit Airlines! The cheap of the cheap. The crème de la crème of shitty airlines.
But when you’re making your travel plans, be sure to factor in a four-hour delay — it’s almost inevitable. If you happen to find yourself sitting in an airport for hours on end (you will), you might wonder “What the hell am I going to do for all this time?”
Fear not. I have the answers. Here are 19 things you can do to entertain yourself while you are waiting for your flight.
- Drink wine at the airport bar
- Drink beer at the airport bar
- Eat the Rich
- Drink vodka at the airport bar
- Call your mom
- Tweet at the airline, await a response that isn’t coming
- Hit on a TSA agent
- After being rejected by the TSA agent, go on Tinder, find a date, meet them for dinner, go back to their place, date for a while, get engaged, have a few kids, send the kids off to college, retire
- Call your mom again
- Read The Badger Herald
- Take the GRE
- Bankrupt the coworking company WeWork and throw international real estate markets into a tailspin
- Call your mom … again
- Fly to your destination — and back — on a different airline
- You’re probably sober again by now … back to the bar
- Get a job at an airport kiosk, work for 3 hours, make enough to buy a ticket on Delta
- Conduct research on airport shops — is there a correlation between proximity to gates and prices? Distance from the entrance and customers’ sweatiness? Time of day and outfit choice? Develop your hypothesis, construct a methodology, carry out your experiment, get peer reviewed and published!
- Write a banter article in The Badger Herald
And I bet you’ll still have time to spare!