Help!
I’ve fallen behind in class and I can’t get up!
I just checked Canvas and apparently I have a response paper due in three hours. It is almost impossible for me to write a response, as I have not done the readings necessary for the assignment, or gone to lecture at all this semester.
Nope, I’ve fallen behind in class.
I can’t get up.
Not one step.
Some might say I should drop this class. I would, but as my grandmother says, I like money. The Add/Drop deadline passed my poor soul by weeks ago.
If I drop the class now, I can only receive half of my tuition money back in a refund. As we know, I like money. Only receiving half of my money back would make me sad and defeated. Fallen, but not defeated, is where I would like to stand.
Except I can’t stand. I’ve fallen behind in class and I can’t get up.
What class is it you might ask. Some might query if I can take it pass fail. I wish I could, but alas it is for my major and I just learned via mass WiscMail that classes for your major cannot be taken pass/fail. This class is for my major. What is my major? That is a mystery to be kept to myself and my transcript.
Ah, my transcript. A once untarnished, perfect being. It was indented only by the school’s emblem at the top. Now, a mass of letters, sprinkled throughout mark it, sometimes spelling words.
Did you know you can make words with the letters A, B and C? I mean look, AB is a great word in its own right. Cabs remind us of cities. BAC reminds us to drink responsibly and never get behind the wheel with anything higher than a 0.08.
Oh woe is me. Oh woe IS me. Oh woe is MEEEEEE.
That was a quote from “Thoroughly Modern Millie,” a musical I did in high school. I remember life was so much easier then. I could sleep at night knowing even if I failed to do anything for any of my classes, I would still be alive.
Not now.
I have fallen behind in my classes and I can’t get up.
Some might say my life is on alert. It is, it truly is.
I only have one life and here it is, on alert.
Help is needed, not even GUTS can help me now. I am out of all hope and begging.
Help! I have fallen behind in my classes and I can’t get up.
