As some students traveled home to be with their families or dined in the festive halls of Gordon Dining & Event Center to celebrate the spring holiday season, many more students neglected to celebrate these holidays to prepare for the most sacred day of the year, the Mifflin Street Block Party.
Indeed, a sense of festivity is already in the air for this most drunken of occasions. Wreaths made of Naturdays cans can be seen on almost every Witte door, with garlands of red solo cups strewn between the blocks of State Street.
“Mifflin is the one culturally unifying holiday we have,” one student said. “I know that the person sitting next to me in geography class might not have the same traditions as me, but we both certainly love wandering into a bunch of different living rooms of houses we’ve never been to before wondering where the beer is.”
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While some may define this tradition as breaking and entering, devout ‘Mifflinites’ see this as a form of festive caroling. Inevitably, someone is going to sing along to “Africa” by Toto somewhere with the same harmony they learned in their high school a cappella group. That’s certainly caroling. Also, look Wisconsin a cappella groups! We spelled a cappella with two “p’s” and two “l’s.” Aren’t you proud of us?
Sales records from Fresh Madison Market indicate beer sales escalated far past sales for their reasonably priced hot bar throughout the weekend. Eye witnesses reported seeing tears running down the cheeks of shoppers when the last 40 pack of Natural Light left the premises, as if by flight. Even Triangle Market, the superior grocery store of the Madison metropolitan area, noted a significant downturn in shoppers due to their lack of alcohol sales.
In kitchens across overpriced apartments and communal dorm floors, several people observed the preparation of a traditional Mifflin feast. Consisting of a family sized bag of Doritos, a lukewarm pizza from the Domino’s on Gorham and whatever sad amount of mixer that is left over from drinking shots of peach Svedka, the meal stands for all pillars of the holiday and instills communal blessings to all who take part in the feast.
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Despite widespread excitement over the coming of Mifflin, some expressed dissatisfaction with their celebrations of other holidays instead of preparation for the Mifflin feast.
“I mean come on, I just spent my whole weekend with my family celebrating our cultural traditions and that’s cool and all, but now I’m really behind on practicing my chugging skills for Mifflin,” one student said. “My team needs to win flip cup this year, I have a lot riding on it.”
The “flip cup,” as some ‘Mifflinites’ call it, is probably the most important thing involving cups in the month of April, nay, the calendar year. Participants in this ritual spend weeks perfecting the trajectory of their Solo cups to win the privileges afforded to those deemed superior at the festival’s main event.
Despite the fun and games, many often lose sight of the true meaning of Mifflin. While many think it is about getting as drunk as possible without getting a drinking ticket or being arrested, the true meaning lies within our hearts. Really, it’s just us all letting out our inner horse girls and going “oooh pretty pony” when we see ten police officers mounted atop majestic horses.
Some may still voice dismay of the erasure of thousands of years of cultural celebrations, but the bud of Mifflin spirit warms even the coldest of hearts.
“I get that Mifflin is fun, but there literally were so many important cultural holidays that could have been celebrated this weekend,” another student said. “We really need to consider what’s import — OK, yes, I know I can chug that can of Hamm’s faster than you and I’ll prove it right now.”
Until Saturday rolls around, remember to put all your laundry quarters under your pillow so the Mifflin Bunny can award you with supreme inebriation and newfound skills at baggo and darts.