Many feature films are receiving widespread acclaim this holiday season as they compete to snag coveted award nominations. Through this hustle and bustle, one of the most exciting events of the year has widely gone unnoticed. This is a shame, as this event stirs emotions and brings many to make a difference in the world.

Last Thursday, I, Angela Marie Lucia Peterson, took respite on my familial couch and napped there for two straight hours.

It was a glorious affair in part due to splendid performances by my couch, the sherpa blanket I was wrapped in and myself.

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To get the obvious out of the way, I did a fine job of lying practically motionless for two hours. It really was a treat for the audience, which mostly consisted of broken picture frames from when the siding was replaced on my house and my adorable Shetland sheepdog, Patti LuPaw. Despite her inability to speak, I could tell by Patti’s charming grin my recumbent figure was fascinating and a factor in a piece of fine art.

Of course, I couldn’t carry such a magnificent performance on my own. A great supporting cast helped to create a nap for all time. It would take countless hours to recognize the entire cast and crew of my life who have made my insomnia so insufferable I needed to take such a long nap, so I would only like to recognize the achievements of those immediately involved with the production of my nap.

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First, a special shoutout to the six pieces of turkey I ate prior to my nap. The tender white meat with crispy golden brown edges created the perfect medley of tryptophan and calories to soothe my body into a deep state of slumber. I couldn’t have done this nap without the turkey’s martyrdom. In fact, an in memoriam section scrolled through my mind at the end of my dream in order to honor his noble plight.

The couch truly supported me in all ways throughout my performance. This couch is a marked improvement over the couch in my Madison abode, as currently one of its legs sits detached from the sofa, unscrewed from any semblance of support. Upholstered to a fine degree, the couch also provided visual stimulation to onlookers while I snoozed away.

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Blankets come in many different varieties, thus creating an important decision for the artistic napper when crafting a performance. Some yearning for traditional vibes may choose a quilted blanket, whereas rustic participants may opt for a straw blanket. I chose a lovely sherpa-lined blanket to be my scene partner due to its ultimate warmth and comfort, creating a dynamic duo for the evening which could not be forgotten.

Working as an ensemble, the team created a highly effective performance work. The nap had a few suspenseful moments, as each slight budge made it seem as if I would awaken soon. Guarded by the warmth of my blanket, I appeared to be in heavenly peace throughout the entire evening.

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While, again, the audience was sparse, the show garnered a rave review from Patti the dog, as her raucous cheers in the form of barks awoke me from my slumber. My mother was also impressed I failed to help out in any way with the Thanksgiving festivities for those two hours due to my nap.

The exhibition, while not universally praised, still looks like a success in my book. Anticipate repeat engagements on Christmas Day, New Year’s Day and Casimir Pulaski Day, where hopefully more of the public can enjoy the fine artistry which goes into each and every one of my naps.