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The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

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Conspiracy unfolded: The Wisconsin Capitol is designed after Paul Ryan’s previously pierced nipples

The real question is, what were his motivations?
Conspiracy+unfolded%3A+The+Wisconsin+Capitol+is+designed+after+Paul+Ryans+previously+pierced+nipples
Aaron Drews

It’s clear the Wisconsin State Capitol looks like a nipple, but has anyone ever asked why? Well The Badger Herald did, and we have found out the TRUTH.

Republican House Speaker, U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan, is behind the building’s epic design. If you look at the Capitol from a side view, it clearly looks like a nipple, as seen below.

Aaron Drews/The Badger Herald

When you take a look at the Capitol from a bird’s-eye view, there is a noticeable difference on the shape of that nipple. It is, in fact, a pierced nipple… and it belongs to Paul Ryan!

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Courtesy of Jeff Dean/Wikipedia Commons

According to the Federal Aviation Administration, the Capitol is restricted airspace, so no perfectly clear aerial photo exists. Why would the government be hiding this from us?

They clearly don’t want us finding out about the past of our beloved speaker of the house, but the truth SHALL BE REVEALED!

The Janesville Republican was quite the party boy back in his day, and one night in college he got drunk and received a nipple piercing from a local vendor.

Knowing he would someday become the speaker of the house, Ryan had his state’s Capitol building designed after his most glorious college moment.

The reason we can make this connection with him rather than other Wisconsin ELITES, is because we have the picture proof to PROVE it.

Photo courtesy of TMZ

The Wisconsin representative is pictured here with his shirt off in what is one of the most revealing scandals of our generation. His nipple may not be pierced in this current photo, but if you examine it closely you will be able to tell otherwise.

Courtesy of TMZ

You can begin to see the outlines of holes where a piercing may have once been.

Courtesy of TMZ

Clearly, this connection between the Wisconsin Capitol and Ryan’s terrific nipples is more than just a coincidence. This article is meant to be informative, not biased, nor is it FAKE NEWS.

SEE THE TRUTH PEOPLE, DON’T FALL FOR THE NIPPLE CONSPIRACY.

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