It’s cold outside people, so you what that means. That’s right, Lake Mendota is frozen once again, so dumping a body in the lake became just a little bit more of a challenge. Enjoy these tips if you find yourself with a need to dispose a body in this chilly weather.
1. Jackhammer
Typically a tool for concrete, a jackhammer will be a quick way to crack through the surface. Be warned, because the jackhammer is famous for the unique noises it makes so someone may notice you dumping that body if you’re not careful.
2. Blowtorch
A blowtorch is an innovative and fun method to poke a hole in the ice, however, you may as well be a lighthouse in the middle of the lake. This may not be the most efficient method for dumping a body, but have fun and don’t let the flame burn you on reflection.
3. Saw
Maybe you forgot your batteries or there isn’t an outlet for miles. No worries, with a little bit of elbow grease, cutting a hole in the ice large enough for a body will be a no brainer!
4. Power drill
Not the most efficient tool for creating a body-sized hole in ice, but a power drill is a great way to get the ball rolling on getting that carcass where no one will find it.
5. Ice drill
Commonly used for ice fishing, the ice drill efficiently and quietly creates holes in the ice for your usage. Anyone from the Wisconsin/Minnesota area that has murdered someone will know how to use this tool, so if you are from the coasts, ask a friend who knows what they’re doing.
6. Stomp on it
Out of tools? Well you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do so you may as well get working ’cause that body has got to get down there somehow.
7. Drop something heavy on it
It’s worth a shot.
8. Use the body
Be resourceful! If you’re out of tools and don’t want to hurt yourself, use the body. It’s dead weight anyways, may as well get some use out of it.
