No two Uber drivers are the same, but some Uber experiences are unavoidable. Here are nine Uber scenarios we’ve all been through, for better or worse.
1. The one who can’t stop hitting banana peels
This dude is the one of the worst drivers. Banana peels barely take up any space on the road, yet this driver can’t stop hitting them. This is generally a poor Uber experience.
2. The one who keeps eating mushrooms behind the wheel
This driver is normally pretty crazy because they just speed seemingly through traffic the entire ride. Always make sure to wear your seatbelt if you see a bunch of red or gold mushrooms in the cupholder of your Uber driver’s car.
3. The one who knows how to drift
All this Uber driver does is brag about how they know how to drift. Big whoop. So what if it gets you around turns faster and more efficiently — this could be highly dangerous and an overly confident Uber driver will likely drive off the road.
4. The one who keeps behind traffic in hopes of speeding ahead of everyone
It’s always a pain in the tush when you get this driver. This archetypal Uber driver will hang back and try to get the best opportunities to come their way. Generally this is a failing driving strategy but you never know.
5. The one with a creepy mustache, thick Italian accent and is joined by his weird brother
Nearly every city with Uber has one of these drivers. He will pull up and say “It’s a me!” and punch the ceiling of the car. The worst part about this type of driver is that his creepy brother sits in the back. You would think he’d want to at least talk to his brother, but instead he just throws shit out the back window. We’ve all been in this one before.
6.The one that thinks he’s hot shit until a blue shell hits him
Staying in front of traffic is always important, but Uber drivers will get cocky and get rear ended by an exploding blue shell and be forced behind traffic. This is never a fun Uber ride.
7. The one who keeps falling off the road
This driver can’t seem to turn correctly or pay attention to any details in the road. They are always in need of roadside assistance and traffic will pass and laugh at your terrible driver.
8. The one who can’t seem to catch a break
No matter how talented of an Uber driver they may be, this Uber experience always ends poorly. They always deserve better than this but keep getting forced off the road or beaten by pure chance.
9. The one who blames his driving on use of the wheel
Another terrible Uber experience, this driver is yanking the car all over the road. Nobody else seems to be having this problem, but the driver keeps blaming it on the jerkiness of the wheel. What an asshole!