Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

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Craps on campus: Making a splash at the Scatatorium

The Herald’s guide to the best (and worst) spots to poop on campus
Craps+on+campus%3A+Making+a+splash+at+the+Scatatorium
Patrick Ronan

Coordinates: [43.07, -89.42]

Altitude: 263 meters above sea level

The Natatorium is a hub for active Badgers. Amenities such as a swimming pool, basketball courts and two separate weight rooms allow students to maintain a healthy and stress-free lifestyle.

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But fitness addicts often forget one of the most important aspects of their health: the digestive system. Luckily for gym-rats, the Nat has a decent bathroom — commonly known as the “Scatatorium” — allowing for simultaneous muscle gains and rectal losses.

Craps on campus: Lavatorial luxury at Bascom’s Bugatti of bathrooms

Nothing really stands out about the Scatatorium. Dull cream colored tiles cover the sticky walls, creating a color scheme for the room somewhat reminiscent of vomit. The standard checkered floor suffers obvious water damage from years of use by swimmers and divers. The humdrum design matches the overall banality of the building, which is expected to be knocked down in 2017.

While the Nat’s restroom fails to impress, it also is unable to upset. Nothing is truly unbearable about the bathroom. The smell of sweat and chlorine suppress any fecal odors. The room can get a little stuffy and humid due to the nearby pool, but in general, the temperature is nice.

Craps on campus: Disastrous defecations beneath Van Vleck

My only real complaint would be the flimsy one-ply toilet paper. Given my luck and poor wiping abilities, the paper ripped mid-wipe, causing a bit of shame and a lot of arduous hand washing.

All in all, the Scatatorium is much like my athletic abilities: incredibly average.

Patrick Ronan/The Badger Herald

 Specifics 

Traffic: Empty throughout the day

Stalls: Two tiny stalls

Toilet Paper: Unreliable one-ply toilet paper — use with caution

Sinks: Two standard faucets

Hand Dryers: Two Xlerator dryers

Cell-service: Wi-fi and data both work

Toilet Flush Mechanism: Manual levers

Graffiti: None

Overall Rating: 2.5/5

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