It’s Friday afternoon and you still have no idea what costume to throw together for the weekend’s festivities. Here are some quick and easy costume ideas for the lazy (or apathetic) courtesy of The Badger Herald staff.
The ’90s
Put on Zubaz and a Beastie Boys T-Shirt with a flannel or multi-colored track jacket overtop. Call yourself the ’90s (yes, the entire decade) and watch yourself become the most popular person in the room.
Joel Stave’s Girlfriend
If you’re a true Stave fan and own a number two Badger football jersey, put that on and doll yourself up game-day style. Voila! You can now head out to Freakfest as Joel Stave’s girlfriend. In addition to being a great conversation starter, this costume offers you the privilege of layering on a chilly evening.
Cereal Killer
Wear mini boxes of cereal stabbed with plastic knives and taped onto monochromatic garb. That’s all it takes to make you the tastiest Cereal Killer alive. Tony the Tiger is jealous.
Unicorn
Unicorns are the most magical and fabulous creatures on the planet, so why not be one for Halloween? With a white or pastel leotard, hair chalk and a horn, you could be. While all your other friends will be dressed in lingerie and nurse costumes, you’ll shine with a costume that is both clever and adorable.
Fantasy Football Player
Get yourself a sword, a football, a jersey, a knight’s helm and a wig. Assemble yo’self and bam! You are a fantasy football player. Bonus: Make a shield out of old beer cases. Bonus bonus: Wear gold chains, emphasizing the “player” aspect.
Cool Pope
Ever notice how everyone’s always talking about how cool this new pope is? Then be cool pope for Halloween! Instead of the white robe, try a tie-dye one! That funny hat? Swap it out for a Rastafarian hat (preferably one that comes with dreads). Make your pope staff out of beer cans, pop on some shades and it’s guaranteed that you’ll be the coolest pope of all time.
Edward Snowden
Do you want a topical costume that will set you apart from everyone else? Grow some five o’clock shadow, get some glasses and a white oxford, and you’re Edward Snowden. This costume will only work if you have some friends dress up like the NSA and chase you up and down State Street, preferably to the tune of “Yakety Sax.”
Ghost
Put a sheet over your head and cut some eyes out. But if you’re at this level of laziness, you likely don’t have any sheets.
Mummy
Wrap yourself up in toilet paper. The toilet paper will come in handy when you decide to publicly urinate (or defecate, I guess) and need something to wipe with.
Lori Berquam
Don’t go to Freakfest. Tell your friends later you were Lori.
“Wrecking Ball” Miley Cyrus
Cut that dirty white wife beater tank in half to expose your midsection and slip into some white granny panties. Bra off, Doc Martins on, hair swooped to the side. Perfect for shameless men and women. Bonus: carry a silver spray-painted exercise ball.
Refrigerator
All you need is a surplus of white cardboard, a pair of scissors and a bit of ingenuity to cook this costume up. People will think you’re the coolest when they realize that you’ve stocked your costume with beer.
George Washington Carver, Peanut-Style
George Washington Carver and Mr. Peanut: quite possibly the greatest hypothetical duo of all time. Cut out two giant peanuts out of cardboard and wear it, sandwich-sign style. Bonus: Instead of actually dressing like the real G.W.C, dress up like the first president George Washington and carry a sword. Now you’re a real carver! The laughs will just keep coming.
Have another idea? Share it with us in the comments.