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The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

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Hump Day: Bring your monotonous hookups to life with these tantalizing techniques

Seduction has no speed limit
Hump Day: Bring your monotonous hookups to life with these tantalizing techniques
Saturday Night Live/GIPHY

Ah, the hookup. Never has an activity carried such a universal expectation. You go in, probably after a little too much idle thinking over your midterm paper, do “the thing,” then retire back to your MacBook and Qdoba with renewed vigor.

With expectation comes monotony and often a desire to get straight to the point. This mindset, however, misses out on one of the most crucial parts of a unique and stimulating hookup session, sure to give you the energy boost you need to finish that last paragraph.

Teasing can be applied at various stages in the hookup by either partner. From a little pausing to a full-on tease, there’s an option for everyone to tantalize.

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When you show up for your “appointment,” try ad-libbing a bit of banter before you get down to business. There’s nothing wrong with getting to know the person you’re about to get dirty with, and it might add some playful conversation throughout your encounter as well.

If you find out your hookup is a waiter, for example, you might make remarks about being “served” all night. It’s cheesy and might turn down the heat a tad when you’re going at it, but this adds a personal dimension to the hookup and makes your partner more than a face you saw on a dating app.

A classic striptease is always a welcomed element in a hookup, so don’t feel the need to hide under covers or with dimmed lights. A quarter-zip sweatshirt is always a great option to execute a striptease with, as you might pull down the zipper inch by inch while initially conversing until it gets to the opportune end of the line, leaving ample cleavage exposed and the perfect moment to start peeling off layers.

Extend the tease by designating yourself as the only person allowed to take your partner’s shirt off, perhaps lingering on each button as you go down their shirt. This build-up makes the following moments even more electric.

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Don’t be afraid to focus on other erogenous zones before bumping uglies. Try keeping your hands away from your partner’s lower body and instead place them on their scalp for a brisk massage. This hidden erogenous zone is deliciously tempting and will make them ready to roll more efficiently than just keeping your hands locked on their genitals.

As your makeout moves along, add a little extra teasing by creeping your fingers across their inner thighs. This implies that your hands will probably creep over to the obvious conclusion in just a bit, but not before you’re done making your partner wait.

Finally, the pause button should not be limited to Netflix. Pull away at any time during your experience and give a knowing smirk. Not only does this allow for an ease of tension, this also allocates time for each partner to check in on the other and to reaffirm consent, which is the sexiest thing in the world.

Take a breather and use a teaser with your next hookup and see for yourself how this variation can change the tempo of your sex life.

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