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Hump Day has always been a bit of an outlier on this front — until now.
Enjoy these University of Wisconsin inspired sex acts to try with your campus sweetheart or one-night-stand of choice.
Climbing up Bas”Cum”
Spice up second base with this Abe-approved trick. Using your tongue, climb up and down your partner’s “hills,” using a panting breath to exercise extra stimulation between tongue strokes. Do this until you both feel like you’ve crossed Park and arrived at Bascom Hall.
Lay your partner straight on the ground, feet together, like a board. Assume the push-up position and complete push-ups as you and your partner “connect to score points.” Once you reach 57 thrusts, a la the Utah State game, cease the push-ups and lay flat as your partner finishes up the mascot’s duties from there.
Riding the 80
A twist on a classic, all riding the 80 requires is sitting yourself down on top your partner and riding them all the way to Eagle Heights and back. Work with a varying tempo to keep each other in blissful suspense. Bonus points if you use the twinkle lights in your room to signal when you’re “reaching your stop.”
Only seen at parties or thirsty Thursday, the Ogg Snog is born out of desperation. Nevertheless, the Ogg Snog is quite a common move. This occurs when there is only one person of your preferred sex who is somewhat attractive and you’re only making out with them because you have no motivation to leave the location you’re at to find better options elsewhere. You’ll be thinking about Nick, but kissing Ogg in the meantime.
Bab “Cock” Special
While not the most practical, this is a tasty treat that begs to be tried. Simply pick up a pint of Babcock ice cream and use it as a creamy topping to your partner’s genitals while you proceed to blow them or eat them out. While definitely not appropriate for use as a regular lubricant, it’s certainly a sweet dessert to top off a night of delicious adventures.
March on Lake Mendota
First, grab ice cubes from any dining hall or dorm venue. Utilize these ice cubes by running them up and down your partner’s erogenous zones, simulating the same risky, teetering-on-melted-ice feeling that can be felt on a brisk stroll across the lake this month of March. Mittens are optional, but ice skates are not recommended.
The Humanities Hump
Though this one’s named after the many confusing staircases found in the labyrinth that is Humanities, this move is perfectly suited for any narrow, abandoned dorm or apartment stairwell. Simply sit your partner down on a step, preferably towards the bottom of a flight. Position yourself a couple of steps down. This position gives a better sightline and angle for any manual or oral stimulation, plus some needed rest for your partner so you can switch off.