Chris Brown should go back to the early 2000’s and relive the glory of “Kiss, Kiss” and “Run;” the days before the domestic abuse conviction, 2013 altercation with Frank Ocean over a parking space and numerous other probation violations.  At least then he wasn’t churning out albums full of boring beats and sexually-explicit lyrics.

Fan of a Fan: The Album is the impetus of Brown’s growing tendency toward extremely slow and drawn out melodies. Unfortunately, this time Brown decided to bring Tyga down with him into the sea of poor production. Fan of a Fan: The Album is an adaptation of Brown and Tyga’s mixtape from 2010, and the pair are featured on every song on the album. According to Billboard, this reboot is part of a larger installment of mixtapes Brown will convert to LPs.

Despite having producers like DJ Mustard and features like Schoolboy Q and 50 Cent, the full-length album still feels like a mixtape with an abundance of collaborators. The production is crisp but underdeveloped and incredibly stale. It’s a total snoozer from the first track to the last, with the exception of one or two bangers. Even “Bitches N Marijuana,” featuring Schoolboy Q, is a trap banger in the most basic sense but quickly becomes monotonous.

Besides the production, the most egregious perpetrator of mediocrity are the incredibly obscene lyrics. While Brown’s niche audience is pubescent teens experimenting with their burgeoning sexuality on the dance floors of bat mitzvahs and confirmations, West Coast rapper Tyga’s target listeners enjoy hearing the word “bitch” dozens of times in one track (in “Rack City,” Tyga raps “bitch” 59 times). The combination is a recipe for disaster; Tyga may add a shiny trap sheen to Brown’s degrading image, but he also adds materialistic and offensive language to every track.

The album’s crude lyricism feels most like a pair of horny teens live-narrating porn to a Bowwow beat from his Wanted album. Instead of rapping alongside Ciara about finding someone special, Tyga and Brown enumerate the ways in which they can “fuck your bitch.” Although this is certainly not uncharted waters for the rap industry, Fan of a Fan: The Album takes shallow and sexually explicit lyrics to a new level and does not provide any innovative or interesting beats to back it up.

The first single off of the album, “Ayo,” is a catchy club banger. While the light synth beat is distinctly Brown, the lyrics have a Rebecca Black-esque sound. Instead of singing about the complexities of preparing for the weekend on Friday, Tyga and Brown rap about their “bougie” lifestyle in the most conversational way. The word “ayo” peppers the hook and sounds awkwardly poppy:

“All my bitches got real hair chilling with the top down / Screaming like ayo / I’mma take her ass down when she bring her friend around / Fuck ‘em both like ayo.”

The lyrics throughout the LP follow this sentiment. In the world of the Fan of a Fan, the only important activities are smoking weed, “licking pussy” and hosting parties. The hook of “Remember Me” insinuates that cunnilingus is the only way to leave an impression on a lady friend:

“I want to see a whole lot of licking that’s a memory / Bet I make that pussy remember me.”

Other lyrics include, “I got bitches N marijuana, ooh I got ‘em” from “Bitches N Marijuana,” and “Never use a nigga, but she abuse the dick / I lick the pussy, let it air dry” from “D.G.I.F.U.”

The album as a whole feels like Brown’s desperate attempt to reinvigorate his dated early-2000’s style with Tyga’s profane and underdeveloped lyricism. The product is a drab full-length better suited for putting listeners to sleep than helping them turn up.

On top of it all, Brown will have a lot of trouble promoting the album internationally after the Canadian Prime Minister denied his tour access into the country, according to CBC News Toronto. Immigration issues like this can stem from criminal records, Stéphane Malépart, a spokesman for Canada Border Services, said to CBC News Toronto.

Don’t worry Canada, you’re not missing much.

1.3/5