Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

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Hump Day: the skinny on semen

Tips on how to make cum taste better, exploration of jizz fetishes
Stained+sperm
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia User Bobjgalindo
Stained sperm

Cultures have been fascinated with semen for ages. Qigong medicine suggested that sexual energy (“jing”) is transferred into sexual organs and then released during ejaculation. The Chinese believed that jade is made up of dried semen from the celestial dragon.  In Ancient Greece, Aristotle wrote that men alone possessed the body heat required to change blood into semen. The Bible has plenty of rules about semen, too. But for those who don’t mind spilling a little seed now and then, jizz can play an important role in pleasure.

When penises ejaculate, rhythmic contractions occur and semen is ejected through the urethra. It is important to note that ejaculation may or may not accompany every orgasm; these spunk-free happy endings are called “dry orgasms” and may allow male-bodied people to climax multiple times. Once ejaculation begins after the first or second orgasmic contraction, it cannot be stopped. The first “spurt” is often the largest, containing 40 percent or more of the total ejaculate volume. Famed sexuality researchers Masters and Johnson reported ejaculation distances ranging from 30-60 cm. But if that cum isn’t setting any long-distance records, do not fret — it has nothing to do with sexual functioning.

https://badgerherald.com/artsetc/2015/02/11/hump-day-spice-up-valentines-day-with-domination-submission-this-year/#.VOQRMVN4rLc

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The Ingredients

Sperm get a lot of attention for their role in semen, but those swimmers only make up 1 to 5 percent of ejaculate. The rest of the splooge (3.4 mL, on average) is made up of seminal fluid produced at the moment of ejaculation. When your partner cums, sperm pass through the ejaculatory ducts to mix with fluids from the seminal vesicles, prostate and bulbourethral glands. All this goo assists in fertilization by protecting semen from the acidic vagina and thickening to help sperm reach the cervix without interference from competing sperm.

Taste Better

Those looking to add a fresh, organic ingredient to their cooking can check out Fotie Photenhauer’s collection of semen-based recipes. Most people who taste semen, however, get it immediately and right from the source. Folks describe the flavor as salty, bitter, sweet and everything in between. Although semen may not be ideal for everyone’s palate, there are ways to help make juices as tasty as possible. The simplest rule is to avoid anything that dehydrates the body and go for healthy, hydrating foods and beverages. The better you eat, the better you taste.

Avoid:

  • Alcohol
  • Cigarettes
  • Coffee
  • Red meat
  • Dairy
  • Asparagus
  • Broccoli
  • Onions

Consume more:

  • Fruits with high water content (pineapples, watermelon, apples, etc.)
  • Peppermint
  • Cinnamon
  • Cardamom
  • Water

Varying amounts of the chemical compounds in semen change the taste. Fructose makes semen taste super sweet, excess sodium will increase saltiness, zinc adds a metallic flavor and citric acid creates a sharp flavor. If you have a blender and a willing taste tester, try drinking a smoothie intended to improve the taste of spunk!

https://badgerherald.com/artsetc/2015/02/04/hump-day-explores-misunderstood-l-word-libido/#.VOQRTlN4rLc

To swallow or not to swallow: That is the question.

When it comes to blowjobs, people always ask the same question: Spit or swallow? Sometimes a heavy load can be difficult to swallow, so never demand that someone consume semen. There are lots of other options besides spitting (which can feel insulting in the moment). Have the partner give a warning before ejaculation so that you can remove your mouth and allow the semen to land on the chest, stomach, face or any other places that strike your fancy. Ejaculating outside of orifices can also lower risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections dramatically.

https://badgerherald.com/artsetc/2015/01/28/hump-day-how-to-toss-salads-like-a-pro/#.VOQRX1N4rLc

Jizz Fetishes

There are lots of fun things to do with semen besides just tossing it out in a tied-off condom. But make sure you get explicit consent for these activities; nothing’s worse than being caught off guard and getting semen in the eye.

  • Snowballing: As discussed in Kevin Smith’s film “Clerks,” the person giving head holds the ejaculate in their mouth and kisses the person receiving head, passing the load back and forth between partners.
  • Bukkake: Multiple people ejaculate on another person; common in pornographic films. Although it originated in Japan in the 1980s, the practice has since spread to America and Europe, becoming prevalent in gay pornography.
  • Gokkun: Consuming the semen of one or more individuals, usually from a container (such as cups, bowls or wine glasses, depending on how fancy you’re feeling). This act is Japanese in origin.
  • Creampie eating: Sucking semen out of the vagina of a partner after vaginal intercourse without a condom, a practice commonly featured in pornography.
  • Felching: Sucking semen out of the anus of a partner, commonly after anal sex.
  • Facial: Ejaculating on the face of a partner, the famous “cum shot” so often featured in pornography. Looking to incorporate semen into your spa routine? You can purchase Spermine facials from a Norwegian company called Bioforskning.
  • Pearl Necklace: Ejaculating on the neck, chest, or breasts of another person.
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