It’s been two months since Beyoncé dropped her “Drunk in Love” video, featuring herself looking ***flawless on the beach and an appearance and verse from baby daddy Jay Z. It was glorious. We basked (and continue to bask) in the majesty that is Bey and Jay’s unearthly relationship.
Since that fateful mid-December day, a host of artists have taken their own stabs at the track, giving us more opportunities to enjoy the afterglow of its transcendental beauty. To help you navigate the sensual world of Yoncé, here’s a definitive, ordered ranking of remixes and covers of “Drunk in Love.”
1. Kanye West’s remix.
Because Yeezus makes everything better always. And there can never be enough Hov + Ye. His verse is classic Kanye being Kanye, with plenty of self-referential quips about his sex life with Kim, like “I put you on that bike / you Bound girl.” Hurry up with my damn croissants? Moar like hurry up with my damn music video on this amazing piece of Kanye gold. Also, #illuminati is real.
2. Diplo’s remix.
The producer/dancehall master behind tracks like “Express Yourself” and the instrumental for Queen Bey’s own “Run the World (Girls)” never fails to crank out the most turnt-up bangers. Featuring heavy bass and a frenetic Diplo ~drop~, this one’s no exception and is perfect for your next house party.
3. The Weeknd’s cover.
Abel Tesfaye, who’s known for his atmospheric R&B tracks laced with equal parts melancholy and sex appeal as well as his his collaborations with fellow #sadboy Drake gives “Drunk in Love” a moody twist. With his smooth falsetto cooing some admittedly (although typically) skeevy lyrics, Tesfaye’s take is sure to get you feeling angsty and alone.
4. Katy B’s mashup cover with Tanishe’s “Vulnerable.”
The British singer who usually incorporates more of a danceable UK Garage aesthetic to her sound slows it down for a sultry rework that showcases her vocal chops.
5. Angel Haze’s cover.
The 22 year-old rapper recently released a pretty good album called Dirty Gold but you might know her for her beef with fellow up-and-coming female rapper Azealia Banks or her criticism and cover of Macklemore’s “Same Love.” She lays down some nice verses and makes the song her own on this impassioned rendition, although her rapping outshines her singing as usual.
6. James Blake’s deconstructed cover.
Brostep h8er and soulful electronic musician Blake took a break from collabing (and maybe living) with Chance the Rapper to concoct a minimalist, ebbing version of “Drunk in Love” that only loosely nods at the track and is generally OK. Your hipster friend who “doesn’t really listen to Beyoncé” might like this.
7. Cassidy’s remix called “Surfboard.”
It’s pretty horrible lyrically, but the way Cassidy extends the “surfboard” metaphor is comical and almost artful. “I got a surfboard in my PANTS,” he deadpans over a trap beat. It’s one of those not-sure-if-they’re-in-on-the-joke kind of songs, but it’s entertaining nonetheless. Also, he says things like “I’mma throw it in, hit missionary / Then doggie style like the Doberman.” Nice, Cassidy. Nice.
8. Detail’s remix called “Drunken Love.”
The creator of the original song’s beat, producer Detail puts together an elongated, trying-to0-hard-to-be-epic-sounding 7-minute version featuring an added choral background and some strings. It’s pretty weird, and not in the best way. Your hipster friend might also like this.
9. Future’s cover.
Future kind of sucks, and so does this cover. His typical overly-AutoTuned voice sounds especially whack and his rapping is clumsy and unoriginal. Next plz.
10. T.I.’s remix.
He raps over a bad EDM/trappy cover, dropping stupid lines like “Don’t take this as misogyny / when I say take this mahogany.” Good job, T.I.
But ultimately the top spot goes to Beyoncé, because this and also she is our Queen. #BOWDOWN