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The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

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Reality show harlots

Sarah: No more grizzly bear growling from Palin, please, princess Hilton deserves TV time

Fortunately for my nervous system, and its decreasing capacity to be subjected to ignorance and bullshit, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” will not be returning to TLC for a second season. This week’s PCP is actually the first step into my full recovery from full blown stupidity annihilation, as we take on the top two contenders for “Famed female least deserving of her own show.” (Our readers may not have heard, but Paris Hilton will rise from the graves of “The Simple Life” and “My New BFF” this spring to present “The World according to Paris.” As one demonic leader of entertainment is vanquished, another ascends.)

Before Palin came to the forefront as one of 2008’s vice presidential candidates, I thought Hilton was my most hated person, but I was wrong. How silly of me to deride Hilton’s dog-toting, sunglasses-wearing, drugged-up antics for all those years; they all seem so harmless now.

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When I consider the distinction between the two – an uninformed, unqualified person trying to make her own music video versus an equally uninformed, unqualified person trying to get elected to one of the most powerful political positions on the planet – it astounds me that just a few years ago we couldn’t comprehend how much worse things could get. I mean, back then all one had to do was turn on “Stars are Blind” and just laugh about it. But there’s nothing laughable in what that 2012 ballot could hold.

I’d like to think Palin’s supposed appreciation for Alaska’s great outdoors would at least help her to protect the state from drilling its biggest mineral resource, oil, but the frequency of the former governor’s gun-wielding scenes on her show aren’t extremely comforting. Also disconcerting is her proclamation in response to an enormous, block-out-the-sun fence her husband built around their property in the reality show’s first episode, that “this is what we need to do to secure our nation’s border.”

Sarah Palin was not (and never will be) deserving of her own show, nor any television appearance for that matter. In fact, this show proves it by showing her sitting outside on her back porch with one book, “researching.” I’m a college student, Palin, I know what research looks like. 

On a final note, I would like to share that Joan Rivers’ slated appearance on “FOX and Friends” was cancelled by FOX, according to her Twitter, because she said Palin is “stupid and a threat.” I humbly pronounce Rivers a worthy candidate for an as-yet unwritten point-counterpoint, “Famed female far more deserving of her own show than Sarah Palin.”

Ann: After ‘The Simple Life,’ Americans can’t handle another trip to Paris, stay in Alaska

It seems no one (or at least anyone with a measure of self-respect) is even remotely excited for “The World According to Paris,” or willing to conceal their anticipated irreverence when the footage starts rolling. Even with her tease that this show is “different” because it gives loyal fans a glimpse into the “real” Paris, it seems she’ll never be able to escape the brand of Hollywood’s most vapid and pea-brained celebutante. And really, how can we take this foray into reality TV stardom seriously after “One Night in Paris”?

Even if she is presenting the impression that her show really is an “all-access pass into what goes on” in her life, do any of us care? I’d rather see the fiercest Alaskan mama bear rock a pantsuit, wield a rifle and continue her fictitious political fa?ade than subject myself to more scripted Hilton shenanigans.

But here’s the real reason I’ll choose Palin over Hilton:

With Palin’s show, there’s a kind of captivating anticipation that just isn’t matched with Hilton. See, we all know Ms. Hilton is, to put it simply, an idiot. Perhaps it stems from her absorption of too many hazardous peroxide hair toxins, or maybe it’s those larger-than-life shades, but she doesn’t create an illusion that she’s intelligent, or fit to run for public office. 

With Palin’s show (and Palin herself) there’s an eerie aura that cloaks each episode emanating from the fact that she’s still pretending to be a legitimate candidate competent enough to lead ‘Merica. You might be watching it for giggles, but there’s a polarized sector of the population that’s watching it seriously, gunning (pardon the pun) for her re-entrance into politics.

This might seem like a bad thing, but it actually presents an edge-of-your-seat suspense.

Palin is toxic for society blah, blah, blah – let’s be real, can we really handle another series ladled with “that’s hot” and “loves it?” Nope.

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