People, the summer is coming. And after we get through finals and the required caffeine-inducing fits of rage, we have a lot to look forward to, including drinks on the Terrace, beautiful weather and, of course, awesome movies. The prospect of summer blockbusters got Tony and I thinking: What’s going to be the best summer movie?
But the answer to this question is so utterly obvious I don’t even know why we’re doing this. Tony, “Eclipse” is going to be the summer’s biggest movie, if not the biggest movie of all time. Like, seriously.
So first off, the story of Bella and Edward tops even Romeo and Juliet in terms of how truly sincere a romance between two angsty teenagers could possibly be. I mean, come on, if you’re not like the rest of us hardcore “Twilight” fans who will forever hold men to unreachable expectations as they’re compared to one sickly-looking pasty man who drives a Volvo, sparkles in broad daylight and cuddles with a petulant girl in an idyllic meadow with purple flowers, well, then you’re just fucking weird.
But “Eclipse” is where the action really revs up, you know. I know what you’re thinking: How the hell are we supposed to do better than vampires flying through trees and unnecessarily shirtless werewolf boys going on runs in the rain?
We’re at WAR! A pasty army on pasty army war! We’re in for a delightfully action-filled treat, my friends.
And, OMFG, Edward might propose to Bella. I mean, okay, I KNOW he will because I’m already looking to buy the replica of the engagement ring seen in the movie. I know it’s roughly $2,000, but if my Edward really loved me, he’d want to see me happily watching my ring glitter in the light ? although nothing sparkles more than a Cullen in the sunshine, I’m sure.
Okay, okay, okay, I know I’m getting off-topic. But “Eclipse” is sure to be a cinematic event that rivals “Casablanca,” “The Wizard of Oz” and “Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience.” I absolutely guarantee it.
Now if you excuse me, I have some posting to do on Mylifeistwilight.com and an Edward Cullen pillow to make out with.
What are my summer movie plans? Two words: Carrie on. If you are wondering what the hell that means, move on — this counterpoint is not for you. On the other hand, if these two words result in eruption of butterflies in your stomach from the mere mention of the upcoming “Sex in the City” sequel, make yourself a cosmopolitan, take a seat and let’s gush together.
What makes “Sex in the City 2″ the best summer film is that it’s not just going to a theater and seeing a movie — it’s a whole day experience. You get to start the day off with a mani-pedi, meet up with your gal pals for a nice late afternoon lunch, have a couple drinks at a classy bar and then head to the theater for two hours of pure bliss. If the chorus of Hoku’s “Perfect Day” isn’t running through your head yet, you’re not invited. You don’t know what song I’m referencing, you say? Have you not seen “Legally Blonde?”
Now, as you know, the first “Sex in the City” film ended with our beloved Carrie finally settling down with Big. So everything is all happily ever after now, right? If only. Judging from the fabulous trailer, some sort of rift occurs between Carrie and Big, resulting in the girls taking a trip across seas as a way of getting away from their all-too-familiar lives back home in NYC. And you wouldn’t believe who shows up — Mr. Aidan Shaw himself. OMG!
For those of you have forgotten — shame on you — Aidan is Carrie’s hunky ex-fianc?e from whom she split after deciding she wasn’t ready to get married. Is a foreign love affair on the horizon? We will just have to anxiously wait until May 27 to see, but what I can say with absolute certainty is that Mr. Shaw looks as yummy as ever.
And as if getting to see our favorite girls and past characters again wasn’t enough, the film will feature cameos from Miley Cyrus, Heidi Klum, Mariah Carey and Liza Minnelli. Could it possibly get any better? Obviously not, because “Sex in the City 2″ is hands down this summer’s best film.
P.S. In case you were wondering which character I am, the answer is part Carrie, part Samantha.