If you’ve been to a theater lately or even turned on a TV and caught a glimpse of a movie trailer, chances are you’ve caught at least a trace of Hollywood’s 3-D fever. From animated to action, it seems like every major picture studio wants a piece of the extra dimension dough. Theaters across the nation are struggling to balance the influx of 3-D flicks, due to the short supply of screens equipped to handle the technology.
But it’s not just new films catching on. Studios are also taking advantage of Hollywood’s hottest trend by re-releasing movies in 3-D. On Wednesday, DreamWorks Animation CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg announced DWA’s plan to convert the first three “Shrek” films into 3-D for a Blu-ray release. However, that wasn’t the even newsworthy part of the announcement — who really wants to see the extremely mediocre “Shrek 3” in third dimension anyway? I mean, it wasn’t even bearable in 2-D. Katzenberg also announced he saw a 3-D test for “Titanic,” calling it “spectacular.” This got us thinking, what film would we most want to see re-released in 3-D?
The childhood nostalgia in me came up with “Jurassic Park” almost immediately. But the more I thought about it, I started shifting toward something with some more explosions, like a Stallone action flick. Then I remembered my experience a couple weeks ago watching “Clash of the Titans” and how disappointed I was with the attempts at adding 3-D post-production. If I’m going to dish out the extra money, it better be done right.
Therefore, I have no choice but to go with something from James Cameron. The man essentially started this whole craze with “Avatar,” and if anybody knows 3-D it’s him. I mean the man spent 15 years developing the 3-D technology for his box office demolishing blockbuster. That’s the kind of perfectionist I need. That leaves me with two films: “Terminator 2” and “Aliens.” Both have the action and a badass character just waiting to break into another dimension. However, as awesome as both films would be, I’m going with “Terminator 2.” The film is already one of the best action flicks of all-time, but then you add in a 3-D T-1000 and Schwarzenegger? It’s like that 3-D attraction at Universal Studios to the millionth degree. That’s my kind of math.
Alright, Tony. That’s all fine and well. While I do agree that there are some movies that really should be re-released in 3-D, this column is theoretically founded entirely on the premise of disagreement about what we find to be incredibly important issues. (All five of our Friday readers may disagree, but I think Tony and I can take you.) So the agreement stops there. Instead, I’ll just attempt to top you yet again, Tony (as I usually do).
So I thought about it, and believe me when I say that I spent a long time trying to pick the best one. I considered some pretty classic movies like “The Wizard of Oz,” “Star Wars” and really anything from the “Lord of the Rings” series. But after looking at the IMDB.com top 150 movies list, I know I came to the best possible conclusion — “The Shawshank Redemption.”
I know — it’s so obvious, right? I have literally no clue how no one thought of doing this until now. I mean, the tagline alone says it all: “Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.” How that doesn’t just scream “Make me into a 3-D movie!” I’ll never know.
Think about it! We could watch Andy carve small figurines out of rock as the shards are seemingly coming out of the screen. Who needs “Avatar-like” special effects when we can just settle for a greater sense of reality? It’d be as if we were in prison right alongside Andy and Red. And who wouldn’t want that?
But I think we all know what the best part of the movie would be: Andy’s bold escape from prison. Watching that intense sequence where Andy crawls though a tunnel of human waste before finally reaching that moment of glory is really only capable of reaching total perfection in 3-D. That scene deserves 3-D.
Well, Tony, I think I’ve done it again. Although, I have to admit, after “The Shawshank Redemption,” next to be re-released is “Schindler’s List.” For sure. Again, how come no one thought of this?