Hola to y’all from sunny Puerto Rico. Taking an early spring break, I find myself surrounded by beautiful people from all over the world. My commentary could mirror that of a cheesy ’90s TV beach dramedy, but for your consideration I will limit myself to say that I’m a lucky SOB this week.
Monday was International Women’s Day, something that a roving flower seller was not hesitant to mention to us as we enjoyed our mofongo. He prefaced this by noting how we beautiful ladies should enjoy something special today. He then tried to goad the one adult male who was with us to purchase us roses by saying, “If you don’t treat these ladies right, I know lots of men in this town who would,” adding a not-so-sly wink as punctuation.
My friend and I, both being in possession of the oft-venerated “donk,” are receiving a good amount of attention from young men on this island. Smiles, stares and statements that involve the word “culo” have been directed at us as we’ve walked past. The intricate exchange of dressing up in small amounts of clothing and receiving “inconspicuous” interest is something we all play when we go on vacation, especially when it’s somewhere completely different culturally than what you are used to. And it’s usually deliciously fun, unless of course your dick is a white supremacist.
Someone who I’m betting did not celebrate International Women’s Day was crappy pop song aficionado John Mayer. In the now famous Playboy interview Mayer gave a few weeks ago, he at once identified with the “black struggle” and told his interviewer that he is not open to black women because he has “a David Duke cock.” When interviewer Rob Tannenbaum asked him to get specific, it was clear Mayer was not just hatin’ on women of color. “[Kerry Washington is] superhot, and she’s also white girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, ‘Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever’… That’s what ‘Heartbreak Warfare’ is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.”
John Mayer certainly knows the two ways to my heart: singing “Daughters” and using different races of women as species comparison. While I gave up on him after he wrote “Waiting on the World to Change” (and thus encouraged our generation to mobilize around the fact that we can’t ever effect change anyway), there are plenty of people out there that fucking adore this dude. Tannenbaum wrote, “He is beloved (though not universally) as one of the few uncensored stars, speaking with wit and impetuousness.” And there you have it folks, the buzzwords that give immunity to every lack-of-respect gaffe that public figures make: uncensored, impetuous, maverick.
When I read the article the first time, I had to give it to Tannenbaum; it had a flow. The shit spewing out of Mayer’s mouth almost had a cadence to it, and after the initial shock a lot of it almost seemed reasonable. I actually walked away from it thinking, “Yeah, it’s ignorant, but it’s honest.” And perhaps that’s the real problem here; that “honesty” can so easily translate to “merit.” I can be completely honest about the fact that I don’t find worth in an entire race of people, but would you revere my opinion or use it to raise my value as an honest person around a bunch of nice phonies? Please. I’d be a racist. The end.
John Mayer deserves the same scrutiny. While a lot of us tend to date along a certain profile, often called our “type,” I’m calling him out for saying there is no way he could find women of color attractive. That is blatant white supremacy and something one cannot make up for by saying, “My dick is a white supremacist, but I’ve got a Benetton heart.” No problem, Johnny boy — you obviously know racism is bad, so please go ahead and tell us how you’d never be with someone who possessed something extrinsic that made her so different. This plays into so many stereotypes and internal fears that I can only scratch the surface of it all. Please clarify, Mr. Mayer: Is your privilege so structured that you wish to continue pandering to your perceived all-white audience at any cost? Or does your “struggle” make you realize your privilege, and you thus have a soft spot for those women of color who live like rich white women?
Regardless, we find ourselves in a sad state. By embracing a barefaced bigot as a cultural hero we are taking some major steps backward in the fight for a just society. Yes, he can play the guitar like a Jimmy Page prot?g?, but let’s not forget that Hitler could paint. It’s near impossible to be a famous talent these days and not have your personal life under the microscope. If you know you hold a view that is not respectful to your audience (you know, the people who fund your existence), then STFU. If you offend them, apologize and adapt. John Mayer would do well to get out of his comfort zone and live somewhere that is not so user-friendly. Rich, straight, white men have historically been advantaged by the structure of this culture since day one. It is the furthest from unreasonable to ask that they open themselves up to viewing everyone as having intrinsic qualities that make them desirable as human beings, and maybe, just maybe, try to identify with the actual struggles of those who come from a marginalized class.
Going outside my comfort zone has been essential to getting involved in a very different culture; it has been eye-opening and amazing — a chance to see beautiful people living a very beautiful life, regardless of race, dick or donk.
Nikki Signer is a political science and religious studies major. Send your most burning questions to your fabulous amigas at [email protected].
