When trying to write an intro to this PCP, all that comes to mind is Bill Murray’s character in “Groundhog Day.” While stuck in a perpetual loop of days, he says:
“Well it’s Groundhog Day… again.”
The same logic could be applied to the Academy Awards. “Well, it’s the Oscars… again.”
While Tony gets as giddy as a schoolgirl when this time of year comes around (he’s pretty much everyone in Punxsutawney doing the polka in “Groundhog Day”), I’m a little more… sane about the whole deal. It’s a great night, don’t get me wrong, but it seems that what makes the Academy Awards special is who you spend it with. Oh yeah, it’s that corny. And as it so happens, that’s the very subject of this here PCP: Who would you take as your dream date to the Academy Awards?
I went through the options. There was Johnny Depp, Jason Bateman, anyone from the cast of “The Kids in the Hall” (though preferably Scott Thompson or Dave Foley) and a slew of others.
But then I thought of someone truly special. Someone who just makes the world make sense again: Meryl Streep.
In the words of Lady Gaga, “We’d be so fantastical.”
First off, she’d make for fantastic conversation — she’s a woman with stories. And you’d think we’d talk about her roles in “Out of Africa” or “Sophie’s Choice,” but no, we’d be talking about “Death Becomes Her,” “Mamma Mia!” and her guest role on “The Simpsons.” Knowing Meryl (she’s so cool, she wouldn’t mind me calling her that), she’d just laugh, take a sip of her drink and have a great time.
And aside from her general classiness, Meryl is obviously a woman of high esteem. For the Academy Awards alone, she’s been nominated 16 times and won twice. Greater still, over the span of her entire career, she’s been nominated for 90 awards — and guess what, she’s won 83 of them. That’s a damn impressive track record.
And good Lord, the woman is beautiful. Then again, Meryl Streep is to beautiful as Heidi Montag is to Frankenstein. It’s just obvious.
Although this PCP is a matter of preference alone (and not a matter of right and wrong, or life and death, as these matters tend to be), you just can’t do better than my girl Meryl.
As big a film buff as I am, it should come as no surprise to anyone that all my biggest man crushes involve actors. By no means am I ashamed to admit this. Every guy has at least one man crush even if he doesn’t want to publicly reveal who it is. I have a list of five.
It’s not laminated like the one Ross had in “Friends,” because while my list obviously takes dashing looks into account, it also has a lot to do with how much I enjoy the movies the actor is in. Like I said, I’m a huge film buff. Therefore, my list can fluctuate if an actor comes out with a real bomb or an Oscar winner.
Right now my list includes George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio and Jason Segel — admittedly, Segel makes this list not only for films, but also for my infatuation with his character on “How I Met Your Mother.”
So who is my dream Oscar date? Call me a bit of an Oscar gold digger, but I’m going with Clooney. Out of my party of five, Clooney is the only one nominated for an Oscar, so that clearly plays a role in my decision of whom to take. Can you blame me? Everybody wants to be the big man on campus, and by going with Clooney I ensure that I’m one of the hottest commodities on the red carpet.
Furthermore, Clooney has been in the business for a long time, so you know he is friends with a lot of Hollywood people. That means I would get to talk to all the biggest stars. What the hell is better than that? Plus, I’m sure Clooney gets invited to all the best after parties — something I’m all for. Sure, I’m using the man a bit, but hey, who wouldn’t?
There’s also the fact that Clooney is in the same film as Anna Kendrick and Vera Farmiga, meaning I would get to be sitting next to some rather fine ladies for the duration of the ceremony.
Finally, I just love George Clooney. I would just really enjoy being in his company and talking with him. And let’s admit it — the man pulls off the salt-and-pepper and tux look better than anyone out there. He’s also single — bomb.com.