Dear Hump Day,

Guys love blowjobs. It’s no lie. But I have a bad gag reflex and can’t stand the thought of swallowing. Is there anything I can do to train myself to do it?

Love,

G.A.G.

For those of us who weren’t born to deep throat, giving head can seem nerve-racking at first, but it’s important to remember there’s more to great oral than the typical up-and-down motions we know so well. No matter how well-endowed your guy is, there are plenty of things you can do to get him going.

Before I get specific, I’m going to share three basic rules for keeping the gagging to a minimum: breathe, relax and stay in control. Giving head can get pretty heated, and during the steamiest of moments, you may forget to come up for air. Remind yourself constantly to breathe through your nose, and you’ll likely feel more relaxed.

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Depending on the position you’re in, it’s also common for your muscles to tense up. Remaining conscious of this will help your motions feel more fluid, which could in turn help ease your gag reflex. Finally, maintaining a position where you’re in control, like kneeling over your guy while he lays on his back, will allow you to direct his penis to the more gag-free parts of your mouth. Sounds like a win-win situation, right?

If you’re looking to fit your guy’s entire shaft in your mouth, don’t lose hope just yet. For many people, the gag reflex becomes more sensitive with faster, more frequent motions. By the same token, remembering to pace yourself will allow you to deep throat in a manner you’ll both enjoy. Slow and steady most definitely wins the race when it comes to amazing head, and plus, most guys are turned on by a steady buildup of speed and rhythm.

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Another excellent way to avoid gagging is to throw other parts of your body into the mix. Use your tongue to lick up and down the penis and encircle the corona — the extra-sensitive area where the head of the penis meets the shaft — not related to the Mexican beer manufacturer, unfortunately.

Another tactic you should always remember is the age-old HJ/BJ combo. On its own, a hand-job may seem a bit pedestrian, but moving your hand and mouth steadily up and down your guy’s dick will most definitely get him going.

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If the idea of swallowing is really getting to you, there are a few approaches you can take. The clearest and, incidentally, most difficult of these is just to change your attitude. If you can figure out what about swallowing grosses you out so much, then it may be easier to deal with. In the meantime, here are two ways to make giving head — and the end results — more pleasurable for you and your guy alike:

  1. The next time you’re about do go down on a guy, remind yourself that spitting and swallowing aren’t your only options. When it comes to the grand finale, you can choose from a number of techniques. When he’s close to climaxing, take a break from oral and use your hand to help him finish. If you’re feeling a bit more daring, you can use other parts of your body to get him off — I’m talking titty-fucking and dry sex here, ladies and gentlemen.
  2. If you’re comfortable with the idea of being a bit sticky post-coitus, see if he’s down to finish anywhere besides your mouth. The possibilities are extensive here — your back, chest, stomach or wherever else sounds fun to you.
  3. Although it would still involve swallowing, using flavored lube may help you to adjust to the way semen tastes. You can buy it at any local sex, health or drugstore and it comes in tons of different flavors — strawberry-kiwi, mint, you name it!

So, the next time you’re giving head, don’t let your gag reflex hold you back! Although you may feel at a disadvantage, just stay positive and realize it’s actually pushed you to add some extra spice to your technique.

Rachel Dickens is a junior majoring in journalism. Want your burning sex question answered? E-mail our sexperts at [email protected]