The Simpsons. Sorry, that did not translate into print as well as I had hoped. Go back to the beginning and pretend a choir sang it. I'll give you a moment… Are you back? Now hum the theme and continue. As you ought to know by now, "The Simpsons" is hitting the big screen July 27 with "The Simpsons Movie." On top of that, the television series will reach its 400th episode May 20 with an episode titled "24 Minutes," a parody of its fellow FOX show "24." Let it be known that this Simpsons episode was conceived of long before "South Park" produced its centake on "24" in March. Perhaps Trey Parker and Matt Stone wanted to turn the "Simpsons already did it" tables around. In any case, to celebrate both of these monumental achievements, I am going to list my top five favorite "Simpsons" episodes of all time. "Simpsons" lists have been done to death, but I still feel the need to add (to borrow the title of Kent Brockman's editorial segment) "my two cents." No. 5: "A Fish Called Selma" (Season Seven) — You may remember Troy McClure from such films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun!" and "The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel." In this episode, McClure finally has the chance to take center stage on "The Simpsons." Brilliantly voiced by Phil Hartman, McClure woos Selma into a phony marriage to hide his odd fish fetish. The episode features one of the best musical moments in "Simpsons" history: McClure's starring role in the musical "Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off!" Among other great songs, the musical features a clever "Rock Me Amadeus" parody about Dr. Zaius. No. 4: "Marge vs. the Monorail" (Season Four) — If there is one thing "The Simpsons" has perfected, it is mob mentality. The residents of Springfield not only can be convinced of anything, but they get on board even more quickly if the idea is completely idiotic and described in song. Traveling conman Lyle Lanley (also voiced by Hartman) shows up at a town meeting as the citizens are discussing how to spend some extra money they had just acquired. Using a catchy song, Lanley manages to convince all but Marge into purchasing a shoddy monorail system for Springfield. As Homer so eloquently puts it when Marge disagrees with the choice, "Well, you should've written a song like that guy." No. 3: "You Only Move Twice" (Season Eight) — Homer takes a job in Cypress Creek at the Globex Corporation. Terrorist Hank Scorpio — a villain straight out of a James Bond movie — heads the company. However, Homer humorously never realizes his boss's true identity. "Simpsons" regular guest star Albert Brooks voices Homer's evil, but gracious, boss. Listening to him list off the selection of hammock shops in Cypress Creek's hammock district may be the highlight of the show. Also, the run helps solidify this as Brooks' best episode. No. 2: "Homer the Great" (Season Six) — Homer suspects Lenny and Carl of suspicious behavior. After some investigation, Homer finds out that many of the men in town belong to a secret society of freemasons called the "Stonecutters." Homer is able to join thanks to his dad's membership, and his brothers soon discover that he bears the birthmark of the chosen one. After Homer tries to lead the group to do some good for the community, his fellow Stonecutters secede and establish a new club, the "No Homers Club," hilariously repeating Homer's traumatic childhood experience. Once again, I cannot help but mention a magnificent musical moment, the Stonecutters' performance of "We Do." No. 1: "Homer's Enemy" (Season Eight) — Introducing an established character's rival or exact opposite is a popular comedic device. Some may even consider it hackneyed. However, there is absolutely nothing hackneyed about this episode. It is as finely crafted as, well, an episode of "The Simpsons." Mr. Burns hires Frank Grimes after watching an inspirational news story about him, in which it is noted that Grimes has a correspondence school diploma in nuclear physics "with a minor in determination." His qualification for the job automatically puts him in opposition with Homer. After a rough first impression, Homer desperately tries to become friends with Grimes. All the while, Grimes constantly points out what is wrong with Homer, but no one listens. Grimes' observations about Homer's dumb luck summarize the series' ridiculousness. In fact, if this were the last episode ever produced, I would have been completely content with the conclusion. The series never really reaches the same level of excellence after this season, anyway. By the way, Grimes (or "Grimey," as he liked to be called) dies at the end. Just wanted to ruin it for you. On a side note, after compiling the list, I looked up the people who wrote each episode. I discovered that John Swartzwelder wrote my top three favorite episodes, proving that Swartzwelder must be some kind of comedic genius. Fortunately, he also took part in writing the movie. Since "The Simpsons" has such a rich selection of episodes, here is a list of five honorable mentions: "Treehouse of Horror V," "Radioactive Man," "Lemon of Troy," "Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment" and "Behind the Laughter." I could probably list at least 20 more. This is my last regular column at the Herald, and it wound up being the hardest to write. The idea may seem simple, but it is difficult to describe the personal anguish that comes with ranking "Simpsons" episodes. There is a good chance I "forgot" someone's favorite, but these are my favorites. If you want to list your favorites, then you should apply for my job. That, or leave me a nasty, anonymous message on The Badger Herald's website. Mike Peters is a senior focusing on communication arts, film and business. Want to take his job? Let Mike know at ([email protected]) or get yourself an app by e-mailing [email protected].