First off, we'd like to say thanks to our many thousands of fans who have made this one of the greatest semesters in Last Action Heroes history. Being the last day of publication for the semester, this is obviously our last column of 2005. As such, the knowledgeable and now wealthy Last Action Heroes (thanks to syndication), would like to take some time out to recommend a few flicks to catch while escaping the cold of the Wisconsin winter. Because, hey, everybody could use a little action over break, right? Let's go!

Derek:

"Rambo"

Since it appears 2006 will be the year of Stallone, I think a Sly classic is in order to ready our minds and flex our muscles for what's in store from one of the action genre's legends.

In Rambo, Stallone is a Vietnam veteran arrested for vagrancy in Jerkwater, Wash. Cops and sheriffs poke and prod Rambo until flashbacks take over and lead to Rambo leveling the entire town along with more than a few cops. The movie has everything. One-liners and a variety of action from hand-to-hand combat to blowing up police property with rocket launchers.

In fact, the conflict between Rambo and the police can often be found in the dining rooms and living rooms of many students when they return home for Christmas break, albeit without the mass loss of life and the severing of limbs via crude military tactics. I hate being told to shovel the driveway in the MIDDLE of a snowstorm when the only reason for doing so is that my little white dog does not vanish and become stuck in a pile of snow again only to be nearly killed when my dad drives over him, but missing him because the undercarriage of his Jeep is sufficiently high enough to pass over a half-buried dog.

In this case, Rambo would tell his mother to shovel the lawn and to make some ham sandwiches while she passes through the kitchen on the way to the garage. You see, Rambo is the law when it's his home turf. For example, when Rambo corners the sheriff in the mountains outside Jerkwater, Wash., he tells him "I could have killed 'em all, I could kill you. In town you're the law, out here it's me. Don't push it. Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe. Let it go. Let it go."

Goat:

"Die Hard"

If it's not already clear to everyone, I'm going to set things straight: Bruce Willis is easily one of the best action heroes still making films. Sure, he's no JCVD or Seagal — but that's the beauty of his talents. He's sort of an everyman action star, making even the most timid of fans think they too could take out an imposing group of Germans.

So what better way to bond with beloved family members than to watch the film where he got his start? "Die Hard" tells a touching tale of a New York police detective trying to reconcile things with his estranged family over the holidays. He winds up falling face-first in a pile of nasty, forced to take out at least a dozen German thugs who've taken over the Nakatomi Tower during a Christmas party. Willis walks on broken glass without shoes, mows through intimidating opponents with a machine gun and manages to throw in a few holiday-themed one-liners in the process. Willis dressing up a dead German with a Santa hat and note reading: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho" — simply priceless.

The all-star cast presents one of the most enjoyable action movies of the late '80s. In fact, it was nominated for four Oscars. Alan Rickman stars as the menacing Hans Gruber, Reginald VelJohnson (Carl Winslow from "Family Matters") is Willis' police buddy and there's the loveable De'voreaux White (who'd go on to star in "Frankenstein: The College Years") as Argyle, the limo driver.

Overall a quite enjoyable film with more holiday cheer than anyone would ever look for.

Derek:

"Walker: Texas Ranger"

Finally, what good would the Last Action Heroes be around the holiday season if they couldn't recommend some gift ideas? While not a true legend like Van Damme or Seagal, Chuck Norris is a legitimate cross-medium action star. He took the action and kill counts of "Delta Force" and successfully transferred them, in a weak way, to the television series "Walker: Texas Ranger."

Now, action fans everywhere can get all the Walker they can handle because the series has moved from the silver screen to the big screen with the release of full-season DVDs. Pick up your nearest copy today and see Cordell Walker and Jimmy Trivette wreak havoc on bad guys using big trucks and big fists. While this most certainly will not bring a smile to your grandma's face, the scenes of him posing as a principal and helping disadvantaged students turn their lives around most certainly will. And if you like the Law and Order type episodes where shows are based on actual events, then you won't go wrong with this near action-reality series. You'll find computer hacking madmen wreaking havoc on state institutions, an outbreak of the Ebola virus and Walker entering a burning building without protective gear and rescuing a little boy and his loyal dog.

It's classic, Happy Holidays action fans. Be sure to tune in next semester when Goat continues as a Last Action Hero while Derek Montgomery divulges his action know-how from the great country of Greece. Until then, let's all pray that The Rock changes his mind about "Daddy's Girl," because that's all I want for Christmas.

Goat:

"Hard to Kill"

It's tough to think of a move that offers more enjoyable scenes than "Hard to Kill." While it doesn't offer the non-stop action seen in legendary feats of cinema like "Commando" and "On Deadly Ground," what "Hard to Kill" does have is a touching family story. After Seagal's wife is murdered in cold blood and he's left in a coma for seven years, he returns to find himself the target of countless assassination attempts. He finds new love with a nurse, reconciles things with his son and kills at least three dozen of Sen. Trent's close allies.

While some may speculate as to how this could possibly be a family-friendly film, take this for example: I watched "Hard to Kill" with my own father just a couple of weeks ago and we both had a good laugh at Seagal's epic journey. The training montage in the middle of the movie is incredible, featuring him swinging at invisible creatures, running up and down small hills and punching a wooden board — until he uproots it.

This is one action film that has a little bit of something for everyone watching. The kids are bound to enjoy the priceless way that Seagal runs up mountains in his jogging suit. Mothers will undoubtedly enjoy seeing the ponytailed assassin in the tightest pair of nut-huggers ever seen in an action film. Fathers will laugh at the hapless villains who try to stand in Seagal's way. And Grandma? She's sure to get a kick out of Steven promising to take a certain Sen. Trent to the bank — "the blood bank."

The Last Action Heroes want to hear from you!!! While the semester is over for now, the LAH never sleep. If you have an idea you think they should look into for next semester, shoot Derek and Ryan an e-mail at [email protected].