Late-night eating is a staple activity of Madison. This should come at no surprise to anyone. Late-night food is also a staple of our isthmus. When a bustling bar scene surrounds downtown, the void must be filled accordingly every week. It’s a tough job dealing with drunken college students at night, but someone has to cash in on it.
Some alcohol-serving establishments in town serve food. However, we must challenge ourselves to venture out once we remember how hungry we are after bar time. Depending on the state of one’s drunkenness, finding the best of drunk food the town has to offer can be a challenge. However, some of these fine establishments are best visited in an intoxicated state while others hold their own even under the condition of sobriety.
A place known for its drunken visitors does not mean that the quality of food is necessarily bad. However, some things just taste better when drunk, and that’s okay. Perhaps the alcohol conditions us to want certain food to cleanse the palette of our shenanigans over the course of an evening. Perhaps the alcoholic drinks some favor do, in fact, cause taste loss.
Often thinking about pizza after “tour-de-bars,” certain brands of pizza lend themselves to the drunken hour. Papa John’s, for example, is a wise alternative to nearby Ian’s Pizza. This isn’t to say that Ian’s doesn’t have amazing pizza, but it’s often surrounded by hundreds of hungry customers and waiting for food is never fun.
Papa John’s is not the best pizza. (We know who has that product positioning covered in town.) For that reason, it is usually the least crowded of pizza establishments and, shockingly, its pies are pretty decent the next morning for breakfast. When only taking a bite of the pizza, this is an important consideration — can the pizza last the night? Luckily, PJ’s pizza is a survivor.
Of course, the garlic sauce from Papa John’s helps the flavoring and the pie survive the overnight battle. To be honest, last time I went, they apparently ordered for me and, sadly, only one piece of pizza was consumed that evening. Yet, it was resurrected the next morning, didn’t require reheating and tasted great after it was doused in garlic sauce.
For good reason, intoxicated students consume Ian’s Pizza regularly almost every night. With a smorgasbord of quality, homegrown and original pizzas, this destination has become synonymous with late-night eating. It is a rarity to find Ian’s without a line extending from the counter to the sidewalk. Notably, the staff is quite accustomed to the drunken crowd.
Pizza di Roma deserves an honorable mention. Its pizza is solid with some extra greasy loving added. The employees have a real understanding of clients’ needs, especially because they gladly hand out ice water upon request.
Burritos are a dangerous proposition after a good night out. The combination of loose food ingredients held together by a tortilla is an accident waiting to happen. But when Qdoba is nearby, sometimes the taste of the burrito is just more important than the mess it could leave behind. But seriously, don’t be that person. You know the type: stumbling around drunk and carrying a burrito wrapper in one hand; meanwhile, the contents are all over the place.
Depending on the type of drunk (giddy or otherwise), the burrito idea can work. The Chicken Queso Burrito is a particular favorite. When you’re clamoring for survival the next morning, the fresh ingredients will help quell the impending hangover to an extent.
Parthenon is particularly good when intoxicated. Some have been kicked off the 81 for eating the fries right away instead of waiting until later because they were so good. The “gyro fry” makes an especially salty nightcap. Drink a decent amount of water or your hangover could be much worse.
Tom McGrath is a fifth-year senior majoring in journalism and mass communications, among other things. He is trying to curb his habit of eating drunk food after each tour-de-bars but will never give up the hooch. Tom can be reached at [email protected].
