Cough, cough; sneeze, cough. For almost a month now I’ve had a horrible cold. Always feeling sick, always feeling crappy. Thinking about finishing my last semester of school or looking at Monster.com for a job, makes me feel sicker. It seems that when I begin to think about my future that’s when the fever rises and the headaches start. Doctor Lindsey is self-diagnosing senioritis.

Worrying about graduation, moving away and finding a job is only the tip of the iceberg. This critical point in life sends shocks through the hearts of every senior. Relationships forged in environments of books and beers now need to be closely examined with sober eyes. The decision to continue a relationship into uncharted waters of “adulthood” is a scary and often difficult move.

The timing of serious relationships is rarely ever great. You won’t find a hot-blooded 22-year-old guy spending his Saturday night at the corner bar looking for his future wife. Meeting “the one,” however, does happen when you least expect it, whether you’re 16 or 46. Time stops, the rotation of the earth sways and at the least, it scares you shitless. Instead of being selfish and only thinking of yourself, you now have this other person that is intertwined in your life.

We take for granted that our girlfriends are just on the other side of University Ave., our boyfriends down the block. What happens if that person gets a job in Idaho or Los Angeles? Do you cut the strings at the end of your collegiate years? Or do you embrace the gift of love and remain together?

The single worse quote to say to a person in this situation is, “If it’s meant to be it will be.” This creates unfounded hope to those individuals that love will work itself out. As if cupid is working overtime to fix the problems that you have created. This is completely untrue. A relationship will not work its self out without hard work and dedication. If there isn’t any grease in the wheels, they won’t be turning.

I have heard an interesting theory on when we allow serious relationships to continue. While not true for everyone, men and women set life goals for themselves. The difference in these goals comes from a timeline. Women tend to set life goals around their fertility where as men set those same goals around accomplishments. Have you ever heard a man say “I want to have a child by age 25 because my sperm will be young?” No, men will not actively seek out a wife and a family until he feels he can support one. Women on the other hand say such things as “I want to be married by age 24 and have my first child by 28,” because her life will be shaped by a window of opportunity to have a family. This theory will not convince everyone but it makes some good points.

I want to make it clear that just by continuing a relationship outside of your college years you are not bound and gagged to your partner for the rest of your life. It is important to examine why you would remain in that relationship. Is it because you see potential for lasting love or is it because the sex is great?

Harder yet is the situation of only one partner graduating and the other still sitting in Memorial Library for another year. Being at different points in your life, even if only two years or six months, is going to present a whole other set of challenges. If your boyfriend takes a job in Chicago, is your relationship strong enough to survive the temptations and distance? Are you then willing to follow him to the Windy City when your time comes?

There is then the consideration that the time apart could strength the bond between the two of you. The old adage “Distance makes the heart grow fonder,” is right on. Not only will your relationship go through the distance test, but it will also be an indicator as to how the two of you will deal with other stressful situations in the future. Time apart can be good, so you can grow and accomplish goals on your own. You have the rest of your life to spend with someone; a year spent by yourself can be a good thing for yourself and your partner.

All this relationship talk is making my head hurt, but my heart hurt more. So do you stay together or break up? This is a problem that even true love cannot fix on its own. It’s time to ask yourself not can you live without that person but rather do you WANT to live without that person. These are difficult decisions that no one can make for you, but yourself.

Lindsey Wasley is a third year graphics student, graduating in (cough) May. She likes to hide under her blankets and pretend that she doesn’t have any responsibilities. Lindsey can be reached at [email protected]