Another spring break has come and gone. The return to our typical routine feels painful — a far cry from the bliss of vacation. This is Madison, and we can make the most of our situation by adding a simple twist. Anyone up for a bar crawl?
A bar crawl is nothing more than visiting a predetermined variety of bars. True, on any given night you might hit a handful without much thought — but that is merely making the rounds. A real bar crawl involves a little planning and organization.
Some take on a theme. For example, in early December, a group of people all dressed up in full Santa garb gets together for a coordinated tour down State Street. It is a sight both comical and frightening — maybe you’ve seen this band of merry Santas before.
Another popular reason for a bar crawl is bachelor and bachelorette parties. These usually have a way of annoying those not directly involved, so let’s not even go there!
A good bar crawl does not need such definition or unifying premise. The goal is to make a night out different from the norm. To do this, a few steps are required.
You could do a bar crawl by yourself, but that might be a little strange. Find some friends with a hungry appetite for adventure … and liquids. This is the easiest step — you can keep it small, or dial everyone stored in your cell phone.
The next step, and perhaps the most important in the chain of events, is the bar selection. There are a number of considerations, such as drink specials, location, and the possibility of lines. And since Madison is a bar-tourist’s paradise, the possible combinations are practically infinite.
The drink special angle is perfect for those on a budget. But this is tough on weekends due to current “restrictions”. If saving money is your goal, try Thursday instead. Alternatively, you can kick off your tour at Madhatter’s FAC starting at 4 p.m. By the time you leave, budget considerations will likely be thrown out the window.
Location is key. The last thing you want is a drunken horde roaming about the city with no sense of direction. Think about it as drinking efficiency — if you want to bounce from the State Street to Regent Street, consider that it will take more time than if you focus only on the Capitol-area bars.
Geography and bar concentration make intuitive sense, but still offer certain challenges. Here is where a sense of predicting lines can come into play. Say you want to start at Paul’s Club and finish at the KK — will there be a line when you get there?
This brings up the value of scheduling. It can help with some of the guesswork. Pick a start time, and then set intervals. While schedules and drinking don’t mix especially well, it does offer the benefit of helping your friends know where you are at any given time. Cell phones are hard to hear in most bars. This is just another way to keep the party going and growing.
All this effort aside, the larger consideration is drinks. An easy goal is to try something different at each bar. And if you really can’t keep time, you can set your plan by measuring it in drinks — like one per bar, for example.
Finally, you need a leader. Somebody needs to stick to the plan. It is not a glamorous job, and in many ways will feel like herding cats.
Ultimately, a bar crawl will give you a quick perspective in Madison, hopefully from angles you didn’t consider. It is an easy way to try a place you never considered, or hit your favorite haunts in rapid-fire succession. Although it might sound like a traveling binge-fest, just remember it is a lot easier to get bombed by staying in one place.

Bartime will visit the “other” on campus watering hole, Union South. Bowling might be involved. Cheers!