(Caution: Reading this post may cause pregnancy, infertility, or AIDS.)

Given the Republican backlash against the new film about Alfred Kinsey, the University of Indiana researcher whose work put the lie to widespread perception of American sexual Puritanism, it’s not entirely surprising that the Bush Administration’s approach to sex-ed has been to pull out all the stops in an attempt to convince students not to have any. But a report commissioned by Congressman Henry Waxman (D-CA) reveals the gross distortions and outright lies used in numerous federally funded ($170 million this year) abstinence programs which put scare tactics–largely to no effect–to use in achieving their goals.

Among the untruthful and unsupported “facts” that are presented:

On HIV:

HIV can be contracted through sweat and tears.

Condoms fail to prevent transmission of HIV in 31% of heterosexual intercouse.

Half of all gay teenagers have tested positive for HIV.

On pregnancy and conception:

Mutual masturbation causes pregnancy.

A month-and-a-half-old fetus is a conscious, thinking individual.

Abortion causes sterility.

On gender relations: “Just as a woman needs to feel a man’s devotion to her, a man has a primary need to feel a woman’s admiration. To admire a man is to regard him with wonder, delight, and approval. A man feels admired when his unique characteristics and talents happily amaze her.”

My favorite quote from the instructional materials for one such program is about how men don’t prefer uppity women (ladies, take note!): “Moral of the story: Occasional suggestions and assistance may be alright, but too much of it will lessen a man’s confidence or even turn him away from his princess.”

Of the 13 programs Waxman’s officed surveyed, only two were found to present mostly accurate information. Says Waxman: “I don’t think we ought to lie to our children about science. Something is seriously wrong when federal tax dollars are being used to mislead kids about basic health facts.”