Bleach

Worst ESPN Analyst?

Unfortunately, there are quite a few viable candidates to choose from.

However, squirt gun to my head, I definitely will take Lou Holtz.

Right now, Holtz is challenging Brett Favre for the “who can destroy a reputation faster” crown. While the Favre fervor has died down right now — at least until he gets injured and Wisconsin will collectively bellow “I told you so” — Holtz continues to damage his reputation with every poorly articulated word.

When Holtz retired from Notre Dame, he finished his career with a 249-132-7 record and a 12-8-2 bowl record from all six schools where he spent time.

It has been a steeper downhill than Everest from there.

At the beginning of this season, Holtz predicted Notre Dame would play Florida in the BCS championship and tried to defend it by saying he didn’t think they were the second best team, just that they had the easiest schedule.

By the way, the Domers have already lost to Michigan — a team that went 3-9 last season.

Furthermore, Holtz doesn’t so much talk as he chews on his words before spitting them out. While it may not be nice to make fun of an old man, he gets paid quite a lot of money to talk on the biggest cable network of all time.

The worst of Holtz though, is how he doesn’t analyze so much as yell.

Yes Lou, we can see that Golden Tate made a nice catch.

I agree Lou, the stat ESPN just put on the screen tells me Jimmy Clausen has thrown for over 900 yards in his past three games.

ESPN is so frustrating, however, that whoever Jonah picks won’t be wrong.

I’m just more right.

Braun

Hi, my name is Steve Phillips. I used to be the general manager for the Mets, but I was fired because I didn’t do a good job.

I signed legends such as Mo Vaughn, Roberto Alomar, Jeromy Burnitz and Rickey Henderson. I mean who cares if they were all almost 40 years old? Really, if we’re talking about big names, I got them, right?

While that short monologue may be a bit of an exaggeration, Phillips’ broadcasting credentials are about as valid as an illegal immigrant’s green card.

I don’t blame ESPN for hiring the former GM. He served in the Mets front office for six years, and assembled a team that went to the World Series in 2000. But from there his career went downhill, and while he might look like a baseball genius, his mannerisms and terrible, almost unbearable analysis makes him look like he’s watching a different sport.

We’re talking about a guy who not only traded away outfielder Jason Bay — who’s tearing up the AL East this year — but a general manager who tried to get rid of the Mets’ current franchise player Jose Reyes, who has proved himself as one of the league’s best infielders.

Simply put, whenever this guy has his “When I used to be GM” moments, I’m ready to throw my remote at the TV and threaten to never watch Baseball Tonight again.

But like Bleach said, neither of us is really wrong on this one. One thing is for sure: If you’re caught in a room with Phillips and Lou Holtz, get out of there. Fast.