SPORTS
Point-Counterpoint: Michael Vick’s next career
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by Kevin Hagstrom and Ben Voelkel
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
I know it's a ways away, but given the gravity of much-maligned quarterback Michael Vick's crimes, I think it's time that the former Hokie thinks about his future… outside of prison.
What better way to refurbish his image than to prove to the world that he wasn't torturing or killing dogs because he's a heartless individual, but because he was trying to make ends meet and make a few bucks here and there. How might he do that, you ask? By becoming a Westminster Kennel Club dog show exhibitor, that's how.
I mean, think about it: The job would be the greatest PR stunt since Edward Bernays got women hooked on "Torches of Freedom." It would be tackier than Mr. Rogers' red cardigan on top of a button-down shirt and tie, and it would certainly be hokier than Matthew McConaughey's efforts to be "tight" with professional athletes.
Vick showing a well-groomed, well-mannered, healthy-looking dog might actually get people to forget the past. Even if PETA doesn't forget Vick's inhumane ways, I'm sure corporate sponsors will; if they're dumb enough to give William Hung a record deal, appearances on several top television shows and a contract with Cingular Wireless, Vick's stunt should result in countless offers.
Moreover, when it comes to flash, Vick's got game. He made a living doing it on the field, juking DB's out of their cleats. As an exhibitor for the Westminster Kennel Club dog show, Vick could mesmerize with his new look: a suit and tie. (Vick can thank this whole dogfighting mess for that transformation.)
There is a way Vick can be absolved of his crimes.
Dog-gonnit, Westminster is the answer.
Anonymous (September 5, 2007 @ 2:47pm):
1) He communicates through broken English
2) He's a fellon
3) At one point he was rich
4) He's from the South
Those are the same qualifications that got President Bush elected.
Mike Vick For President
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