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ESPN switches out wrong guy
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Also by Dave McGrath:
- YouTube sensation revolutionizing sports journalism (March 28, 2008)
- END OF AN ERA (March 5, 2008)
- Life for defender not Taylor-made (November 30, 2007)
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If you are ever in the mood to lose your appetite, lunch or some nosy, over-the-shoulder reader at College Library, log on to YouTube and search Lawrence Taylor. Then watch the linebacker who would give Hannibal Lector the chills turn Joe Theismann's lower leg into a boomerang in a Monday Night Football game in 1985.
The infamous hit ended the career of Theismann, who was the league's MVP in 1983 and led the Redskins to a Super Bowl XVII victory over… never mind, it's not important. The fact he was even able to stroll again is proof enough that the Roswell incident is true, since extraterrestrial medical technology is the only explanation of how a bone pretzel can be formed into a limb capable of walking.
Theismann went on to annoy the ever-living daylights out of many NFL fans, with a career in the broadcast booth, eventually taking full revenge on the show he was injured on, becoming a full-time part of the Monday Night Football booth this past year on ESPN.
Yesterday, however, the wordy, long-winded, repetitive and (yawn) shall we say less than exhilarating color man just got his second bad break on MNF, being yanked out in a quarterback change for the funny, informative, equally knowledgeable but infinitely more likeable Ron Jaworski.
Most people would see this as reason to celebrate, and in fact, there is some champagne chilling in the back of this sports editor's mini-fridge to celebrate the exodus of the Nintendo Virtual Boy of sports commentators.
The problem is, while Theismann gets the boot, the Game Gear — with only two batteries, no less — of color men is still around. Of course, I refer to Tony Kornheiser, who is to Monday Night Football what a 2-foot belly tattoo of Joakim Noah would be to a Heidi Klum cutout.
While Theismann is an irritant and seems to have the personality and sense of humor comparable to a cardboard box in the booth, "Korn Beef" somehow was worse, having absolutely no positive analysis to add to any play, usually pointing out how green the grass was or how a touchdown was worth not four or five, but SIX points.
"Korn Flakes" was often criticized for not speaking enough, with his seemingly endless pre-game monologues comprising roughly 85 percent of his total words spoken during any given broadcast. It's funny; I always thought that was "Popped-Korn's" strongest trait.
This seems to have sparked ESPN's move to pull Theismann from the booth, the fact that the no-nonsense quarterback and the supposedly witty goofball got along like Stephan Marbury and anyone else who is taking shots. In fact, it often seemed as if there were true animosity between the two, as if Theismann wanted to show Kornheiser exactly what it was like when his career came to a close.
Thus, ESPN decided to roll the dice and see if "canned-Korn" could succeed with a different color-man at his side.
Jaws likely will be spectacular on MNF, and television will be better for having him on it, but the fact is he shouldn't be replacing Theismann, but "Korn-on-the-cob."
Sure, it's nice to have the Thei-Master off the air, but not at the expense of an extra helping of "Korn-bread". In truth, MNF would be much improved with the talents of the Spanish soccer guy (you know… GOOOAAALLL!!!!) than with Kornheiser.
ESPN did right to drop a member from its Monday Night Football lineup. The problem is that instead of making a quarterback switch, a dual QB system was needed.
Hey, it worked for the Gators.
Dave McGrath is a senior majoring in English and Journalism. If you'd rather he replace Tony Kornheiser in the booth you can e-mail him at dmcgrath@badgerherald.com.
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IP hash: 50635b51
Agreed on all points. Kornheiser has no working knowledge of the game of football or sports at all and it should have been Wilbon in the MNF booth to begin with, since he is the one who carries the show while Kornflakes panders to the idiots in his audience and makes outrageous statements that are clearly not researched or true. They had to bring in Stat boy to keep Kornheiser in check, but unfortunately they did not replaced Theisman with Reali, so we can expect another seaosn of MOnday Night idiocy.
IP hash: e96d60f6
Outstanding article.
Good luck in syndication.
Gators still suck!
IP hash: eb8ab2b6
Perfect take on the Acorn. Anyone who has watched PTI for longer than 30 sec. will still avoid MNF.
IP hash: 27407090
The Herald is not sufficiently important to merit a registered account. Your column, however, demands critique.
Your “nicknames” are uninspired, nevermind inherently unfunny. Your editor is of questionable skill, considering that you misspelled “Stephon Marbury” and “Hannibal Lecter,” and those errors still made it to “print.” Your subject/verb tense agreement is spotty at best. And let’s not overlook the horror that is the following sentence/paragraph: “Theismann went on to annoy the ever-living daylights out of many NFL fans, with a career in the broadcast booth, eventually taking full revenge on the show he was injured on, becoming a full-time part of the Monday Night Football booth this past year on ESPN.” Woof.
Oh, and it’s “Andres Cantor,” not “Spanish soccer guy”. For someone who wants to be a minimal-nonsense sports writer, you certainly don’t have much in the way of sports literacy chops.
This column stinks.
TheBookPolice “Reading This Will Not Make You Popular.”
IP hash: bf66556a
Any chance ESPN could send Dave O’Brien back to baseball? I had to suffer through thw World Cup with that wanker yelling nonsense like “swing and a miss” and “into the mixer”. On Sunday Dave was going on about Bruce Springstein and the Yankees and Red Sox, things which had nothing to do with the action on the pitch. Just get that toss pot out of the booth.
IP hash: 2d793398
Just checked out your blog “BookPolice.” I can see the problem you have with fun, offbeat writing, but with your dryer than sandpaper style, I believe you shouldn’t be criticizing someone else’s writing, especially since this is a pretty solid column. ~Hanson Betoncourt New Orleans
IP hash: 4aea2c99
Dave, you might have a future in sportswriting, but if you think that coming up with 10 different ways to poke fun at TK1, you have some serious content issues. You see, people love ESPN…why? The only really consistant writer on its web page is an unabashed fan of all things Boston but still can come off as entertaining. You on the other hand are correct about one (Joe) and insainly wrong about the other (Tony). If Tony’s main contribution was to the opening and the close of the show and chose to let the game speak for him, that is a first in these terrible times of sports journalism. I am old enough to know that I don’t need a guy to speak 100% of the time, I can see what is going on…shut up for a while. Tony can do this, Joe on the other hand cannot and has never been able to do this. The guy isn’t bad off of TV, he has done Tony’s old radio show in the past and has done well. Joe thinks every moment must be filled with his commentary, we get it. Mike Tirico does his job well. Tony Kornheiser does his job well. Joe Theismann doesn’t do his job well, which is why he no longer has his job.
Nice try at a funny article, but next time, stick more to the substance…I might disagree with it, but at least you don’t look like an un-funny comic.
Rob Thompson
IP hash: e4126d43
YOU ARE AN IDIOT!! I GUESS IT’S TRUE THAT THE INTERNET MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR ANY FOOL TO BE HEARD.
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Tony Kornheiser is ESPN
IP hash: 27407090
Sorry you feel that way, Hanson Betoncourt (if that is your real name…COUGHunlikelyCOUGH). Of course, I’m not trying to make a career out of my blog.
Mr. McGrath, on the other hand, apparently wants to do just that. While I ultimately disagree with his claim that Mr. Tony’s no good, I think the author did a pretty crappy job of trying to convince anyone to agree with him.
And lastly, Hanson “Zero Google Hits” Betoncourt, may I add this one last thought? Heaven forfend someone use the dual powers of an open comments section and freedom of speech to render a criticism of someone else on the Internet. You honestly expect to be able to make a post like you did, and then claim that I don’t have the same right to do so? Congratulations, you’re an idiot.
IP hash: fcbd6b0e
Who took the shot at BlogPolice?? Speaking of spelling, someone should point out to him/her the difference between “dryer” and “drier”!!!
IP hash: 24a2399d
My opinion of the Journalism and English Programs at Badger State has just suffered tremendously.