SPORTS
Sporty lady friends: to be or not to be?
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Also by Andrew Kluger:
- Fans, league should throw embattled QB Vick a bone (August 31, 2007)
- Wisconsin dealing with un-Settled keeper position (August 31, 2007)
- Scorecard (August 31, 2007)
- Year in Review: We were the Champions (December 14, 2006)
- Badgers confident to begin challenging season (November 1, 2005)
Related Stories:
- To playoff or not to playoff (October 25, 2006)
- Teams keep focus forward (October 11, 2007)
- NCAA adopts new BCS formula (September 1, 2004)
- Playoffs set to be even longer (April 11, 2003)
- Down with BCS, up with playoffs (November 15, 2006)
by Andrew Kluger
Monday, November 27, 2006
Earlier this month I received an e-mail from a loyal Kluger's Korner reader named Mike. It read:
Hello, Mr. Korner. Last week, I attended a popular establishment in Madison to watch the Badgers take on the Hawkeyes in their Big Ten finale. After discussing the current BCS format and the need for some form of a playoff system in college football with my good buddy, the girl of my dreams swept me off my feet. Let just call her Sarah for the time being. Sarah was donning a lovely Wisconsin hoodie and sweatpants that read "Badgers" across the buttocks. After hearing our conversation, Sarah chimed in with her own thoughts about the BCS while correctly stating the stupid rule that prevents Wisconsin from playing in the Rose Bowl. As she continued to demonstrate knowledge of professional and collegiate athletics that I have never seen a female exhibit, the song "Lady in Red" was playing in my head over and over again. And oh yea, Kluger, she was pretty cute too. For one reason or another it didn't exactly work out between the two of us, but I did score some digits (I'll find out if they're real or not some other time). Anyway, am I just crazy or should every guy be looking for a special lady friend who loves sports?
Well, Mike, you're not crazy, but you bring up a question man has struggled to answer since the beginning of time. Do men really want their significant others to have a genuine love for sports?
Sure, every guy dreams of a girl who can appreciate the little things in life, such as the aforementioned BCS or the necessity to wear your team's NFL jersey every Sunday. But be careful what you wish for, because a girlfriend who shares your love for sports can be a deadly combination.
On the surface, you might say to yourself, "Of course I want my girlfriend to love sports, because how often do you find a girl who likes exactly what you like?"
Sure, you can watch games together, go to Badger games together, have intelligent conversations about the best sports bars in Madison, and even snuggle in bed with "Sports Center" in the background as opposed to watching reruns of "Full House."
But after a while, every guy needs his space. And there is no better ways to get that space than by pulling the sports card.
"I'll see you later, honey. I'm going to Jim's house to watch the big game," has always been a personal favorite of mine. But if your significant other is a sports fan, a man's best excuse for freedom is long gone.
Your sports-loving girlfriend could respond with the dreaded "stay here and hang out with me, I'll watch the game." Or even worse, "Do you mind if I come to Jim's place?"
There's nothing wrong with your girlfriend going to your buddy's house to watch the game, but if that does happen, make sure you're on your best behavior. The cursing, farting and sexist remarks are all out the window, and more importantly, your buddies will ostracize you for bringing her along.
Before you lovely ladies out there come knocking on my door calling me a chauvinist pig like the feminists from "PCU," remember this: You probably want your man to dress well, but that doesn't mean you want him to know the difference between Armani and Armani Exchange. You want him to go shopping with you on occasion, but if he really enjoyed it, you would probably be a little alarmed.
Similarly, every guy loves the idea of a girl who has some basic knowledge in the world of sports — but it's a very delicate balance. If you're watching a baseball game with your special lady friend, you don't want to have to explain to her that four balls equal a walk. But that doesn't mean we want our significant others to know the intricacies of the infield fly rule. What could be a better way to impress your special lady than citing rule 6.05e of the Major League Baseball rulebook? We've all been to a ball game with a young lady, where us manly men can pump our chests out and do our best impressions of ESPN analysts, even if we have no idea what we're talking about.
Then, of course, there are the young ladies who love to play sports.
Like most men, I have always found a female athlete to be quite attractive. What can be better for a man than finding that special someone who actually enjoys having a baseball catch or throwing around the old pigskin? It's a heck of a lot of better than spending your Saturday at a museum.
Then there's golf — the one sport where sex, size and ability have no bearing on one's ability to participate. Anyone can golf as long as they have a love for the outdoors and the ability to combine curse words to form super-curse words one never thought existed.
All you golfers out there know that a day on the links allows you to forget all the troubles that exist in your life while you smoke cigars and enjoy some quality male bonding. But when that male bonding becomes female bonding, you're in trouble.
Well Mike, if you haven't figured it out yet, relationships are complicated, especially when the two participants share a genuine love for sports.
But the key is finding a girl who can tolerate sports; a girl who doesn't mind that your respective teams are the second-most important part of your life; a girl who will cheer for your team regardless of whether the game means anything to her; and most importantly, a girl who will make you feel all better after your team blows a big fourth-quarter lead.
So Mike, your question has no perfect answer. But finally, make sure you find a girl who enjoys playing sports.
Just as long as she despises golf while recognizing your need to play at least once a week.
Andrew Kluger is a single white male in search of single female, preferably with a limited — but not a nonexistent — knowledge of sports. You can contact him at akluger@badgerherald.com.
Anonymous (November 27, 2006 @ 9:26am):
Hi Badger Herald and Andrew Kluger!
"every guy dreams of a girl" ???? Have you heard of the term "heterosexist"? Look it up maybe! Also I do think you are a malechauvinist, and I in fact don't care if my boyfriend loves shopping. Also, this may seem entirely UNBELIEVEABLE to you, but there are actual people of the male sex, of whichever sexual orientation, who do not like sports. Shocking! I know. Perhaps women enjoy sports, because they just happen to like them, and not because they are trying to score a guy. Finally, it is pure embarrassing that you print an article that tells women to be "a little of something, but not too much." Thanks so much man but we've already been taught this our whole lives. Maybe next week you can run an article on how "women should be sexy but not too slutty." Thanks!
Anonymous (November 27, 2006 @ 11:17pm):
How bout you just chill out and not take offense to everything that is said. Of course, Kluger meant every single breathing male on the face of the earth when he said that (sarcasm). Just relax and don't take everything as a personal attack against a group of people. Do you really want him to write: "every heterosexual male in search of a committment dreams..."? What if someone is an insomniac or can't sleep? Does that offend them too? Not everything in this world is meant to get you or meant to strike down a certain group of people. Do you actually think Kluger wrote this in an effort to offend as many people as possible? Thats stupid. But I do like the idea for the next column.
Anonymous (December 1, 2006 @ 7:57pm):
Great read Kluger. You bring up a good point in that sports serve as a mini-escape for men. Bottom line is that in a relationship, both partners should maintain a certain number of disparate outside interests - sports usually being a great choice. I think you also bring in an excellent parallel with men and clothing shopping - there are many girls who want a man who can dress well but not necessarily better than them. I think we've all seen the episode of 'next' where a girl knocks a guy for having more shoes than her. Is it not sexist to say that a man cannot have a larger shoe collection that his girlfriend? There are just some things in life that people pride themselves on such that they would find it troublesome to meet someone different (sometimes of the opposite sex) who shared an equal knowledge and passion. Is this politically correct or fair? No. Is it a part of life? Absolutely. I applaud your efforts Kluger to venture off the beaten track - nice to see someone use a sharp mind trained on analyzing sports to sensibly tackle the issues facing the everyday man.
