SPORTS
Dumb fans, dumber chants
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by Michael Poppy
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
It's that time of year again at Camp Randall.
Yes, it's college football season, but with it comes moronic fans and their equally stupid chants.
Now don't get me wrong, I love college football and its fan atmosphere, but there are some people who fill the stands who are as annoying as Tony Kornheiser on ESPN Monday Night Football.
Sure, there are some classics such as those profanity-laced ones following "The Hey Song" and "Swingtown," but the bad far outweighs the good.
Several chants aren't as bad considering they are adding on to pre-existing ones, but they just don't make sense.
Take the "We Want More" chant, for example. Everyone in the student section thinks it's really clever and giggles when they add "beer" to the end of it, but just think about it for once — beer isn't served in any college football stadium in the nation, shouldn't it be "We Want Beer" instead?
Speaking of beer, the excuse every student has when asked why Camp Randall can't fill sections J through P before kick-off is pregame partying. Nothing against it, but if you're so hardcore, why don't you just wake up a few hours earlier?
UW's lazy fans have made television broadcasts reluctant to show the Camp's student section and have held it back for years. ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit ripped student Badger fans a couple years ago and he was pretty much right on — get a clue and watch the game.
The worst chants by far, though, are the ones people try to make up themselves. Sorry, you so-called super fans, but they usually don't make sense whatsoever.
During Saturday's rather boring game against Western Illinois, some bozo emphatically tried to ignite his own chants. Boy, were they terrible.
"Who got the first down? We got the first down! Who got the completion? We got the completion!" Geez … go back to Minnesota, home of the worst chants in the nation, where Gopher fans can't even finish shouting the initials to their state in a unison chorus.
But as frustrated as I was with the idiotic chants, Camp Randall's faithful redeemed themselves when this goofball tried bringing them to a new all-time low. Everyone in my section wanted this guy to shut up, so the next time he said something, the person next to me started a chant of his own in response.
"Who's the idiot? You're the idiot!"
Ah, pure genius — it set off an onslaught of the "A-hole" chant for about the rest of the quarter. I guess I don't really hate all chants after all. However, they're just the beginning to the stupidity.
When other college football scores across the country are shown on the big screen, I've never understood why everyone boos the Big Ten teams during non-conference play. Um, hello, you want Big Ten teams to win outside of the conference so a potential Badger victory will look better down the road. It's just a little thing called RPI.
Then there are the home-made signs. Fortunately, Camp Randall doesn't have a big problem with this, but it's so painful watching a game at home only to have a cut to someone and their dim-witted sign. Good job, you found a way to put some unrelated phrase into the TV station's logo — haven't seen that one before. I don't mean to diss the kids on this one because if you're over the age of 12, you shouldn't be wasting your time making signs anyway.
And don't even get me started on face and body painting or the wave.
At least college football isn't as bad as basketball. I'm already dreading the day of having to hear the infamous airball mantra, even five minutes after the fact. Or those people who scream during a free throw and think a miss is all because of them, even after doing it unsuccessfully countless times beforehand.
Maybe I've just been spoiled from sitting on press row the past couple of years and have missed out on this chanting obsession because I just don't get it. Either way, I know I can expect a large "A-hole" chant heading my way the next time I step foot in the student section — that's fine, I'll still be shaking my head.
Send all your new chant ideas and hate mail to mpoppy@badgerherald.com.
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 7:30am):
I'm pretty sure beer is served at college football stadiums. Take Minnesota for example.
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 8:51am):
Mr. Poppy, who peed in your Cheerios? If you need a hug, all you have to do is ask.
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 9:57am):
Maybe you should stick to section E or F with the other suits. I dislike lame chants as much as the next person but it brings atmosphere to the game. What about the times you cheer? are you then lame? I bet you are to someone. As for making fun of someone for trying a new cheer, how do you think a lot of those so called "classics" got started? that's right, because someone tried something new. I hope you do take your thin beard and tough guy picture back to press row where all the "real fans" are.
P.S. enjoy your press seats for hoops games this year, you'll be pretty far back there.
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 10:26am):
"I'm pretty sure beer is served at college football stadiums. Take Minnesota for example."
yup. all of the ones that are not on college campuses. Try a little research, Poppy.
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 12:47pm):
The Wave is the single best part of the Camp Randall atmosphere, All other stadiums, college and pro, wish they could have as uniform of a wave, or one that does something different than just going around the stadium over and over. Don't knock our wave, for the rest I see your point.
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 12:49pm):
Don't worry. We won't be doing the A-hole chant because of your column. You are much more likely to be targeted because of your hilarious bicep-flexing picture.
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 12:54pm):
Hey Poopy, man are you a douch bag. First off, do your research if your going to try to spout off. As previously stated, beer is served at MN as well as UNLV and Cincinnati. Second, yes we do want more beer, as we have already consumed it earlier in the day and now we want more.
And you have a problem with the Airball chant 5 minutes later. Do you get it? It's not about making him feel bad for the 5 seconds after, it's the constant reminder that is the genius of the chant.
I still can't stop laughing at reading your article after looking at your picture. Did you draw that beard on. I suggest you stick to covering hip hop. College sports may be a bit out of your reach.
And with any luck, the chant you hear when you make it back to the student section will be "OVER"
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 1:00pm):
You made my day with this column. I can't believe UW fans sometimes. The whole "study hard, party hard" thing goes right out the window when you're ruining a football game for everyone else and looking like an idiot yourself.
Great work, looking forward to your future columns.
- BT
http://badgersportsfan.blogspot.com/
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 3:36pm):
I hate to sound like an old geezer, but back in my day, the students used to fill up the student section by the start of the game, even for an 11 a.m. start. This was as late as 2001, so things can't have changed THAT much.
(Oh, and we used to walk to and from CR, uphill both ways, in 10 feet of snow.)
Kids today. They're all soft, can't even get trashed on Friday night, wake up in time for a few drinks on Saturday morning and make it to the game on time.
"Build Me Up Buttercup" sounds great on TV. And don't diss the wave, it's the best one at any sporting event.
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 10:43pm):
Do people still freeze quarters in marshmallows and throw them at the four letter networks cameras?
You guys need to start bring things in to pass over the back of the stadium again... try sneaking in a fish in your pants and then we'll talk.
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 11:24pm):
GREAT POINT ABOUT UW STUDENTS BOOING WINNING BIG TEN TEAMS
I almost get in a fight every non-conference game trying to explain that we want the Big Ten teams to win. Who wants to play Michigan after a loss to Notre Dame? I want to play them when we're both undefeated.
Cheer for games like Texas over OSU because we do not play OSU this year and we need someone to beat them.
Anonymous (September 13, 2006 @ 11:28pm):
come on people; get it right
Beer is not sold at college stadiums.
Since when is the Metrodome a college stadium? Last time I checked, it is a professional stadium where beer can be sold.
Beer is not sold at stadiums that are owned by Universities.
Anonymous (September 14, 2006 @ 1:13am):
miller lite, good call karl
Anonymous (September 25, 2006 @ 2:26pm):
Actually beer is served at some college stadiums including Colorado State.
Anonymous (November 21, 2006 @ 8:28pm):
The picture really adds to your credibility
