SPORTS
There’s no day like draft day
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by Dave McGrath
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
There used to be a time in American history when the word draft sent a shiver down the spine of Americans. These days, thanks to the brilliant minds of the NFL only Charger fans still respond as such.
This is when a nation of professional football fans renew their annual vows as die-hards, when the NFL Draft hits the airwaves, causing millions of butts to sit in recliners for up to 26 hours over two days.
It's a testament to the NFL and its stellar marketing that they have turned it into a highly anticipated event — what is in reality little more than a more sophisticated version of a dodgeball draft (indeed if it were a draft for dodgeball, you'd have to think of who the Texans would take …).
It's a wonder that the NFL Draft isn't sponsored by Fritos, Doritos, Tostitos or Cheetos because it damn well should be, as not a soul on Earth can make it through an entire draft without some chips or cheese puffs. The low probability of a pick so exciting that you jump out of your chair in excitement, anger or joy, and thus risk spilling finger foods or drinks, makes the NFL Draft the quintessential couch/futon sport. Lazy Boy might want to consider hopping in on that Cheetos sponsorship.
In theory, the Draft should have about as much drama and excitement as a Terry Bradshaw barbershop appointment (Bradshaw: I'm feeling WILD today, Lou. Take a little more off the top than usual …), yet it has become probably the third most exciting day in the NFL, behind Opening Day and the opening weekend of the playoffs. To be fair, the Super Bowl is entertaining and anticipated, but I believe it is only truly exhilarating if you have a horse in the race, which is precisely where the Draft's major appeal lies: Not only is every team involved, but the worst team on the field are the top dogs on Draft day (of course with the exception of The San Diego Chargers trading up and bombing two Drafts to pick up Ryan Leaf, who incidentally will be involved in the NFL Network's draft day coverage).
But there is some drama in the NFL Draft; it just is usually pretty well hidden. Some examples of drama this year will be: will the Texans find a way to elude success yet again? (This one is pretty much annual), will Raiders owner Al Davis fire Art Shell if he goes against the boss's selection? And did the Minnesota Vikings remember to change their clocks off of daylight savings and thus be able to get in their pick on time?
Such drama makes for good television and allows sportswriters like myself a wealth of topics to work with when discussing the NFL Draft, however for the teams themselves, drama is definitely a bad thing.
Surprises are not something you want to see on Draft day, as they are seldom a good thing. Let's look at the evidence. Exhibit A: The surprise the Minnesota Vikings had in 2003 after making a deal with the Baltimore Ravens, but running out of time, thus allowing two teams to draft ahead of them.
Exhibit B: It's never good to flummox NFL Draft guru Mel Kiper Jr., the man who taught Jimmy Johnson about the importance of good hair. Now, don't get me wrong, Kiper is hardly a genius, he picks wrong all the time, just look at his Draft board from 2004, when the NFL Draft Czar had Ben Roethlisberger going third overall (he went 11th) and correctly guessed nine out of 96 picks correctly on day one. The truth is Kiper is like the guy in your NCAA basketball tourney pool who submits 15 different brackets. This method ensures he should get a fair amount of picks correct, just not on the same sheet. However, should you make a pick that Kiper simply didn't see coming … beware, it's usually bad news. Some examples include ghastly Rick Mirer going second overall in 1993 (Mel had him third) and the Colt's picking Jeff George No. 1 overall in 1990.
Even if the pick pans out in the end, like the Colt's selecting Edgerrin James early in the 1999 Draft, the day is not a good day for the team that chose to catch Kiper off-guard, as his legion of draftniks will continue to tear your pick apart leaving the team more second guessed than Custer.
Every pro-football fan has a reason for watching the Draft. Whether hoping their team will turn their franchise around, get the final piece for a championship run or retool enough talent to repeat/shoot for a repeat, there is something for everyone.
However, this year in Madison there is something else too … the Mifflin Street Block Party. What is a fan to do?
Answer: Find a house with a TV on Mifflin. Watch your pick. Then either A: toast your cup to celebrate, B: drink away your sorrows or C: Do your best Reggie Bush out in the street.
As for me? I will be front and center come Saturday afternoon ready to watch my Dolphins make the picks that will have them playing in their own stadium this January.
And with the 16th pick of the 2006 NFL Draft, the Miami Dolphins select: Virginia Tech Quarterback Marcus Vick.
Damn it. Where's the beer pong table?
