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You said it: Favre’s a ______ (noun)

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by Dave McGrath

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

This past weekend, sandwiched around men's hockey winning its national championship, Phil Mickelson not blowing a Master's title (while Tiger Woods did) and the Brewers losing their first game of the year, Brett Favre made his way into the headlines yet again, calling for a press conference basically to say that he hasn't made a decision.

Now, I realize Brett Favre is quite the touchy topic in the land of milk and Honeyweiss, so I'll have to tread carefully while I tackle the subject of Favre, Wisconsin's adopted son of football, and No. 1 write-in ballot winner of any state election.

So, speaking of write-ins, that is exactly what this will be. Write your own column on the future for Favre:

Brett Favre is such a _ (noun). Do you know what kind of _ (noun) it takes to call a 7:30 a.m. press conference in _ (Tunica, or description of your choice), Miss., to discuss your future, ensuring every major media outlet would be there, and then just basically say that you haven't decided yet? It's pretty _ (adjective), keeping his Packer nation __ (verb).

This whole Favre situation has me _ (verb). If Brett comes back, the Pack could compete for _ (your choice).

If I had things my way, Favre would be sporting _ (clothes, color, etc.) and _ (clothes, color, etc.) on opening day, Sunday, Sept. 10, throwing _ (noun plural) for the _ (team, person, etc.), just the way it was meant to be.

Surely, Dan Marino's all-time TD record of 420 would be _ (adjective, verb), while Aaron Rodgers' record of consecutive games started on the bench by a first-round pick would __ (adjective, verb).

The problem is _ (adverb) Favre loves _ (noun) too much. How could he _ (verb), when he still has so _ (quantifier) left in the _ (noun)?

Sure, Favre had a down season, but half of those interceptions were just as much the fault of _ (perpetrator). It also didn't help that half of Green Bay's starting lineup was _ (your choice) last season, or that the Chicago Bears had the best __ (your choice) in the division.

The sad fact is that Favre will probably _ (verb), and go spend more time with his _ (noun plural).

Regardless though, Favre's legacy will live on, and to me he will always be ____ (your choice expression… Make it good!).

Just for the record, here's how mine would look.

Brett Favre is such a meanie. Do you know what kind of gumption it takes to call a 7:30 a.m. press conference in middle of nowhere (Tunica?), Miss., to discuss your future, ensuring every major media outlet would be there, and then just basically say that you haven't decided yet? It's nice though, keeping his Packer nation well informed.

This whole Favre situation has me bored to tears. If Brett comes back, the Pack could compete for third place in the North. Woohoo.

If I had things my way, Favre would be sporting PJs and a beer belly on opening day, Sunday, Sept. 10, throwing half-eaten bean burritos at the TV for the constant close-ups of Packers' general manager Ted Thompson, just the way it was meant to be.

Surely, Dan Marino's all-time TD record of 420 would be as untouchable as the 56-game hitting streak of baseball while Aaron Rodgers' record of consecutive games started on the bench by a first-round pick would continue, after JT O'Sullivan beats him out in camp.

The problem is Favre loves throwing the ball up for grabs too much. How could he throw touchdowns, when he still has so many defenders left in the buff, they are so wide open?

Sure, Favre had a down season, but it wasn't all his fault, as half of those interceptions were just as much the fault of opposing defensive linemen double-daring him to throw with his eyes closed. It also didn't help that half of Green Bay's starting lineup was a J.V. unit last season, or that the Chicago Bears had the best quarterback and defense in the division.

The sad fact for Packer fans is that Favre will probably run for governor — in Missisippi, and go spend more time with his Dungeons and Dragons buddies at 7-11.

Regardless though, Favre's legacy will live on, and to me he will always be the guy who backed up Chris Miller and Billie Joe Tolliver in Atlanta.

Dave McGrath is a senior majoring in English and journalism. Please send your filled out column to dmcgrath@badgerherald.com.

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Anonymous (April 12, 2006 @ 9:51am):

JT O'sullivan is not with the Pack anymore. way to stay informed.

and, mad libs? honestly.

Jefff Borrelli (April 12, 2006 @ 3:13pm):

Do some research. Brett Favre holds a news conference at his golf tournament every year to discuss his charity and the tournament itself. This is where Saturday's news conference took place. And if you think JT O'Sullivan is still on the Packers, go buy a Robert Brooks jersey. I expect this from the Cardinal, but not the Herald.

Anonymous (April 12, 2006 @ 3:15pm):

YOU SIR ARE RETARDED Brett Favre didnt even know that he was to give news about his decision, and thats an ANNUAL conference. He does it every year, it was supposed to be a conference about his charity golf conference, not his decision. So get your story straight before you talk trash about the purest heart in sports.

Anonymous (April 12, 2006 @ 4:25pm):

brett didn't call the press conference. people need to get their facts strait, especially you

Anonymous (April 12, 2006 @ 4:38pm):

Players don't set up their own press conferences. The team does or the NFL does. I think you should probably know that being a associate sports editor. Go back to Miami.

Anonymous (April 12, 2006 @ 4:43pm):

This whole Favre situation has me anxious (verb). If Brett comes back, the Pack could compete for the super bowl yo (your choice).

If I had things my way, Favre would be sporting naked (clothes, color, etc.) and playing (clothes, color, etc.) on opening day, Sunday, Sept. 10, throwing Touchdowns left and right (noun plural) for the Packers(team, person, etc.), just the way it was meant to be.

Surely, Dan Marino's all-time TD record of 420 would be smashed by Favre (adjective, verb), while Aaron Rodgers' record of consecutive games started on the bench by a first-round pick would just fine(adjective, verb).

The problem is nothing (adverb) Favre loves the packers and the fans. How could he retire(verb), when he still has so many seasons(quantifier) left in his arm(noun)?

Sure, Favre had a down season, but half of those interceptions were just as much the fault of the receivers(perpetrator). It also didn't help that half of Green Bay's starting lineup was shitty (your choice) last season, or that the Chicago Bears had the best luck(your choice) in the division.

The sad fact is that Favre will probably retire(verb), and go spend more time with his hott ass wife.

Regardless though, Favre's legacy will live on, and to me he will always be the god of the Lambeau field. (your choice expression... Make it good!).