The ‘caught red handed’ award

In what was a well-intentioned but equally misguided Valentine’s Day event organized by Badger Catholic, a group of men handed out roses to women walking on Library Mall, along with a note “telling women that they have inherent dignity and beauty.”

From the event’s Facebook description, “all men are invited … to give out roses as random acts of kindness to women.” Without a doubt, the men who participated in the event were acting with the best intentions. After all, there’s nothing particularly offensive about random acts of kindness.

However, there are a few obvious problems with this event:

1) Why should men be the ones handing out roses instead of women?

2) Why should men only be handing out roses to women?

3) Why is it assumed that every woman needs a man to tell her she has “inherent dignity and beauty?” (from a comment on the Facebook event: “More women need to know of there [sic] inherit [sic] dignity! So proud of yall! [sic]”)

What’s worse is that event, besides enforcing gender stereotypes, was apparently intended as some sort of alternative to Sex Out Loud’s Valentine’s Day event, which consisted of them handing out condom-roses. It’s well within anyone’s right to hold an event protesting Sex Out Loud — but that doesn’t mean they should.

After all, what would women on campus do without Catholic men telling them how to express their sexuality?

The ‘What the Hulsey?’ award

Rep. Brett Hulsey, D-Madison, announced last month that he’s running for governor. Luckily for the state of Wisconsin, there’s no chance that this basket case of a politician will become governor. Hulsey’s history of erratic public behavior recently blossomed into the climactic moment of his personal and professional career: crafting his own Ku Klux Klan hoods — with his daughter’s sewing machine. He planned to distribute them at the Republicans’ state convention. The brunt of the complete KKK clusterfuck was avoided, however, as Wisconsin’s golden child thought better of his plot and instead decided to dress up as a Confederate soldier.

While it would lead us too far astray to examine the entirety of Hulsey’s career, here are a few of his more recent high jinks:

A recent episode of the Hulsey saga took place on a Madison beach in July 2012, when Hulsey received a disorderly conduct charge for flipping a 9-year-old boy out of an inner tube. Hulsey then got out of the water and took pictures of the boy, who turned out to be related to an aide to Madison Mayor Paul Soglin, so naturally Hulsey accused Soglin of seeking political retribution against him.

In March 2013, Hulsey brought a box cutter to the Capitol, claiming it was to train an employee in self-defense.

Hulsey’s face-palm worthy shenanigans don’t end there. In August 2013, Hulsey blew $1,200 of his campaign funds on a red convertible, and then spent $85 to partake in the Pardeeville Triathlon, proudly sporting his Speedo-style swimwear on land and in water.

Hulsey is already in possession of a dusty headliner award, courtesy of the 2011 Herald editorial board, who labelled Hulsey a “balls-deep legislator” for his uncanny ability to worm his way into the spotlight. But his recent stints have made it possible for this semester’s editorial board to bestow upon Hulsey another, more prestigious honor: the “What the Hulsey?” award.

Revelry, Mifflin R both just reasons to day-drink

“I dunno, R we going to Revelry?”

“I dunno, R we?”

This seems to have been a common snippet of campus conversation last weekend, as thousands of students hemmed and hawed over their Saturday plans. To dance to Waka Flocka Flame, or not to dance to Waka Flocka Flame? Or to just aimlessly and casually day-drink, stewing in the uncertainty of an early May weekend in the post-Mifflin era?

Regardless, turn out to the event was solid, and as much as some Mifflin Street Block Party die-hards would hate to admit, the Revelry Music and Arts Festival is coming into its own as an annual student bash. What it lacks in sheer debauchery, it makes up for in pretty alright lineups. And while you may not hear about it, we’re sure that Mifflin residents are thankful that their houses weren’t urinated on uncountably many times this weekend.

Whatever your position in the Great Mifflin vs. Revelry Debate, please note that this weekend’s festivities served as further evidence of the following stylized fact: Here at the University of Wisconsin, it’s alright to get sloppy inebriated, as long as it’s on university property and the Evil Empire, excuse us, the Wisconsin Union sees a cut of the proceeds.

One day, after we graduate and have real jobs in the real world, you might be talking to a UW student and feel compelled to tell them, “When I was your age, we went to a party called the Mifflin Street Block Party. … It was anarchy, pure anarchy, and we were so young, there was such passion, such zest for life …” all of this in a wistful tone of voice, vaguely looking into the distance. And there’s a good chance that they will say “Really? R you serious?”

Until that point, rock on, and happy summer.

The Whippersnapper Award

It’s no secret that campus Ald. Scott Resnick, District 8, is seriously considering a run for Mayor in the 2015 elections vying against current mayor and noted grouch Paul Soglin.

Resnick has done little to quell these rumors and almost encouraged them with equivocating responses to questions about running. Resnick, who exudes that perfect politician aura, has flawlessly positioned himself for this race.

Since being voted onto City Council in 2011, Resnick has worked passionately to bring transparency and innovation to the City of Madison. In 2012 he presented and passed an open data ordinance, allowing citizens to access city datasets for examination, data mining and app development.

Resnick has also been a key player in the initiative to close the “digital divide” and bring Internet service to students and families in neighborhoods not currently connected to the grid. More recently, he’s tackled the taxi “dichotomy” debate, providing a voice of reason and compromise to an otherwise fierce and non-constructive debate.

Even outside of his role in the government, Resnick is passionate about making Madison a more innovative city to attract new businesses and foster creativity. For over a year, Resnick has worked with other entrepreneurs on a project known as StartingBlock Madison — a self-described ‘tech incubator’ and permanent home for hackerspace Sector67.

Much like when Soglin was first elected in 1970s, Resnick is young, passionate and eager to tackle challenges to evolve Madison into a more modern city. Just the thought of a Resnick candidacy should make Soglin (and his mustache) quiver in fear.