The Badger Herald: Opinion: Minnesota needs a sense of humor

Opinion

Minnesota needs a sense of humor

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Also by Todd Jasperson:

Diversity cannot sacrifice quality (April 15, 2009)
Robot warriors get ready for battle on soccer pitch (March 26, 2009)
Manilow, Stewart combat debauchery (March 5, 2009)
Everybody: ASM Q & A FYI (February 19, 2009)
Minnesota needs a sense of humor (February 6, 2009)

By Todd Jasperson
Friday, February 6, 2009 12:00 a.m.

8 Vote 1 Vote

Minnesota is at it again. After being one of the first states to pass a statewide smoking ban, they are now toying with the idea of taking that ban a step further, by prohibiting smoking in cars. Admittedly, it is not quite as bad as it sounds — only cars with children in them would be subject to the law — but the proposal is still significant in that it actually restricts what people can do inside their own vehicle.

I should say from the beginning that I am not a smoker. I still remember all the training I had in fifth grade, when I was taught to “Just Say No” if offered a cigarette. The same course also taught us most people started smoking to be “cool” when, in reality, what it actually does is makes them and their clothing permanently smell like a pile of burning mothballs.

Anyway, my point is I have been programmed to make negative associations with smoking, so, if anything, I should be biased against smoker’s rights. And yet, I still can’t support this newest ban. As far as I am concerned, people should be given the right to do pretty much as they wish, so long as they are aware of the potential consequences. Smokers recognize the health risks of smoking, just as a football player recognizes the risk of injury and as a person who attends a concert in which The Killers will be performing recognizes the risk of hearing terrible music. And none of these actions should be illegal.

But I really shouldn’t even need to make an argument regarding the smoking ban, as the fact that it is a policy developed in the Minnesotan political sphere should be enough to prove it is a bad idea. In case you have somehow not noticed, Minnesota has been a disaster when it comes to their political decision-making, and that has become even more obvious of late.

Over the past few years, Minnesota politics has undergone activity that has — how can I best put this — contrasted activity of parts of the universe inhabited by sane beings. Say what you will about the one-sided, at times near-Marxist, developments in Madison politics, but at least you can link some of these developments to logic. On the other hand, Minnesota has shown a strict, consistent devotion toward trying to show the world just how easy it is for Minnesotan voters and politicians to acquire crack.

First, it was the 1998 gubernatorial election, in which the citizenry decided to elect — why not? — Jesse “The Body” Ventura to office, apparently thinking that no one would have a clearer political mind then someone whose career was centered on absorbing repeated concussions.

Second, was the 2006 gubernatorial election, in which Republican Tim Pawlenty somehow managed to win the same state that at one time actually casted its electoral votes for Walter Mondale for president of the United States although that is only a small part of what made the election so absurd. What made that election so fitting of Minnesota politics was the campaign of candidate Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, who was (surprise!) a former professional wrestler (named “Rocky ‘The Hurricane’ Flash”), and was also a Satanist, a self-proclaimed vampire and ran for office as a representative of the Vampires, Witches, and Pagans Party. (Really).

And as if that wasn’t enough, we now have the highly publicized Al Franken-Norm Coleman recount ordeal, in which Coleman was ahead by several hundred votes after the first count, only to be behind by a similar amount in the recount. Apparently the recount is determined to be somehow more accurate, and as a result it appears Franken may very well be the newest senator in Minnesota, meaning that he will cement himself as the least funny comedian in the history of the world to become a senator, provided Dane Cook or Carlos Mencia don’t run in the future.

Anyway, it is clear through these examples — and countless others — that Minnesota clearly is out of its political mind. A state with a list of eccentricities that long just doesn’t seem that likely to come up with innovative and effective legislation. A state that values time spent in a ring wearing only underwear over actual experience may be incapable of innovation of any kind. Which is why I really shouldn’t even have to argue against that new smoking ban.

Todd Jasperson (tjasperson@wisc.edu) is a junior majoring in mathematics.

8 Comments | Leave a comment

Anonymous | February 6, 2009 8:49 AM | Reply
IP hash: f325ba56

If all smokers in Minnesota quit now, Minnesota would have its worst deficit yet! Light ‘em up!

Anonymous | February 6, 2009 8:55 AM | Reply
IP hash: 2c904a9c

It seems like what Minnesota is legislating here is good parenting, and while it’s an admirable place to start, where does it end? I know I’ve got a wish list of things I’d rather not see parents do to their kids, many of which are associated with our obesity epidemic, but do we have limits? If kids are watching too much TV, do we legislate DVD players out of minivans because we somehow feel that cars are a public space subject to greater scrutiny by law enforcement? Can we fine people for bad parenting practices in public spaces? If it isn’t illegal to smoke while sitting next to your kid on the sofa, why is it illegal to smoke in your car? What other rights are we giving up, implicitly, by availaing ourselves of the use of public roads? If smoking is bad, bad for everyone, bad for kids, bad for co-workers, waiters and waitresses, then ban it outright and be done with it. This piecemeal regulatory approach may look great when combatting the scourge of tobacco, but the precedent it sets for regulating other less objectionable or even debatable behavior might not be worth it. That said, it should be criminal to make your kids listen to Barbara Streisand in the car. Or Yanni. Ban Barney while you’re at it. Radios without the equivalent of V-Chips should probably be illegal. Travelling roads with beer or spirits billboards while transporting kids should be illegal. Perhaps it should be illegal to drive a minor past a bar with visible signage.

Anonymous | February 6, 2009 8:58 AM | Reply
IP hash: 111a4774

I still think smoking makes you look cool.

Minnesota Central | February 6, 2009 9:17 AM | Reply
IP hash: 6426a0c5

In the words of Stephen Colbert who doesn’t see Black or White, I didn’t know that Jesse Ventura was a professional wrestler … and even if he was, that would be a reason not to vote for the man based on his expressed views of the role of government. Yes, I voted for Governor Ventura … he was clearly the choice in a battle of former Mayors (that’s right Ventura was Mayor of Brooklyn Heights and beat Norm Coleman who had been Mayor of Saint Paul). During the debates Coleman kept agreeing with Ventura … it was obvious who had a better idea of how to govern. Ventura was concerned about fiscal management and citizen’s rights (yep, there would not be any talk of a smoking ban if Ventura had the veto pen … as you pointed out how far do we go to infringe on a person’s right to smoke when it is totally legal … and I am an non-smoker also.) When the state was flush with money, Ventura didn’t accept the Minnesota Legislatures ideas of how to spend money —- he had rebates issued to the taxpayers. He opposed subsidies for sports teams which is why the Twins and Gophers are now building stadiums using taxpayer’s monies approved under the Pawlenty regime.

Minnesota is a rare state that has a third party that offers voters a choice when both major parties offer candidates that are flawed. Ventura was victorious in his election, but his party has been branded the role of spoiler in the other elections. Pawlenty won both his terms as Theo-Cons gave him full support providing a narrow margin of victory (in 2006, his margin was less than 1% - roughly 21,000 votes while the Ventura’s party got 141,735 votes.) In the 2006, senatorial elections, Amy Klobuchar dominated and the Independence Party did not have impact garnering fewer than 72,000 votes. Compare that the 2008 Senate race where the voters had a choice between Coleman and Franken … both with flaws … Coleman due to poor performance (forget his support of Bush, he did a lousy job on the Senate Ag Committee and Foreign Relations) and Franken had his comedy writings and tax reporting problems consistently being mentioned. Or as some called it a contest between a 10 Years After roadie who went to Woodstock or Stewart Smalley. The voters had a third choice … a none-of-the-above candidate that hit Coleman hard on his fiscal mismanagement. The Independence Party candidate got over 437,000 votes … a significant improvement over 2006 and that’s why both Coleman and Franken could only get 42 % each. Coleman and Franken both have only themselves to blame … they couldn’t close the deal.

In Minnesota, we do take our politics seriously … even voters named Rock Fonzarelli Nyarlathotep Awesome get to vote.

Shortened, it’s Rock F.N. Awesome.

His political views on Facebook are listed as “Obscenely Liberal.”

And this is not a made up name …. it’s his legal name … but he was smart enough not to vote absentee … he voted in person … why ??? Mr. Awesome replied: “I didn’t want my vote rejected due to election workers thinking I was voting under an alias!”

We can laugh at some things (mostly Cheeseheads) but we take our politics serious … even if it doesn’t appear to be.

Anonymous | February 6, 2009 1:15 PM | Reply
IP hash: 2383d960

I am not sure how to start to criticize this article. First, this smoking law is about protecting children from second-hand smoke. Though it’s a good start to let “people do as they wish,” its important that the laws step in when one’s conduct hurts others. To that end, the anti-smoking law only applies when kids are in the car.

Second, the author’s rant on Minnesota’s independent political culture is wrong on several accounts. Ventura, who actually acheived much (high-speed rail, tax rebates, etc.) that the divided GOP and Democrats could never have agreed upon, was elected as a rejection of the hyper-partisan campaign between Coleman and Humphrey. I commend the voters for acting against the mudslinging hackery we are all too used to in standard campaigns. The author also claims that that the state is “out of its political mind” for electing both conservative Republicans and liberal Democrats, without really explaining why. Could it be that the state isn’t full of ideological zealots, and instead they are willing to change their vote depending on the person and the circumstances? (Crazy!) Its also worth noting that the Minnesota recount - though frustrating - has been a striking example of open and sound government. The Canvassing Board methodically addressed both campaigns concerned in an open and fair manner while carefully recounting the totals. Now a trial is taking place to make sure those votes were accurately counted at the local level. Whatever the result, everyone should appreciate that the rule of law and popular election prevail in Minnesota over pure expediency.

Anonymous | February 6, 2009 3:50 PM | Reply
IP hash: 83c4888e

If your going to criticize MN politics, do it on something worthwhile… you must be a student of poli sci 452, congratulations. the only way for you to get your material is for your professor to send it to you in a class email. Sharkey was never a viable candidate for anything- a person that knows anything about politics should know that weird/crazy people run for government positions all the time- no state is immune. But, why don’t you mention how many votes sharkey received. In no way did Sharkey ever contribute to anything related to mn politics. ever.

And yes, we voted in Jesse Ventura, and on paper that looks bad, but at the time, the other choices were wrong but you’re problem is that you can’t separate jesse ventura the man in politics from the pro wrestler. He didn’t wake up one morning and decide to run for governor. No, he actually had a promising past in governing and the voters of MN took a chance on a third party candidate, which I’m deeply proud of. And I’m a liberal.

Anonymous | February 6, 2009 4:02 PM | Reply
IP hash: d737f402

@ 1:15…

AL FRANKEN? REALLY? Enough said.

Anonymous | February 16, 2009 1:32 PM | Reply
IP hash: 3a63a17d

I rarely get offended by anything relating to my home state (pop, my “funny accent”, etc.) but this article made me angry. First of all, I don’t see how banning smoking relates to a sense of humor? Are people who smoke in their cars funnier than those who don’t? Second, criticizing the entire state based on legislation is unjustified - citizens are rarely the ones who come up with the ideas for state laws.

Mentioning Sharkey’s campaign is both irrelevant and ignorant - had you looked up the facts, you would know that his brief campaign ended almost 11 months before the election, which hardly makes him a qualified candidate. Also, he has filed to run for President of the United States, as well as governor in other states, but you aren’t blaming the entire country for that, are you? To say that he made the election “fitting of Minnesota politics” is absurd, seeing as it was certainly the first time that had ever occurred in the state.

I could point out the absurdity of quotes like “A state that values time spent in a ring wearing only underwear over actual experience may be incapable of innovation of any kind” all day long, but I think I’ve made my point. This incorrect and biased article rarely mentions the smoking ban that it is supposedly about, but instead is full of unfair statements about perfectly normal and politically active citizens of Minnesota.

I’d just like to end by saying that I’ve lived most of my life in Minnesota, learned about politics, voted multiple times, and yet I have never easily or otherwise aquired crack.