Opinion
Breaking resistance to interracial dating
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Also by Charles Lim:
- Breaking resistance to interracial dating (February 12, 2008)
- Earth to Xenu: Let Scientology implode (January 29, 2008)
- Corporate abuse results in shrugs (December 12, 2007)
- Blackwater security firm raises questions of sovereignty, authority (October 4, 2007)
- Compassionate care measure heartless (September 19, 2007)
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As I people-watch off the top floors of College Library, I regularly marvel at the difference technology has made in our lives. It’s not our music players or cell phones that impress me, but rather the diversity. Less than a century ago, people could pass their whole lives without seeing someone with a skin color or a culture other than their own. Now, with globalization making the world a whole lot smaller, these people aren’t only meeting, congregating and socializing, but they are dating.
Modernity has brought together couples whose native peoples once viewed the world as encompassing just a few square miles. Asians and Hispanics, whites and South Americans, African Americans and Eastern Europeans — the concept of such radical globalization blows my mind, folks, it really does. Despite my fascination, in the back of my mind I know it would be naive, however, to assume we humans would allow a representation of our purest emotions to go untainted by our most repulsive ones as well.
To preface what I mean, I have to confess my belief that the phrase “love is blind” is cute in its innocence but laughable in practice. As long as our senses are dominated by sight, I am going to maintain a degree of superficiality, and I will bet my boxers that every damn sighted person deep down will too. Physical appearance may not affect the level of affection you hold for your loved one, but you are indeed conscious of the difference in comparison to your own appearance, and truth be told, less enlightened people are conscious of it as well.
Some will argue the opposition to interracial relationships died out along with the ‘60s and segregation, and in most ways that is correct. White America has been educated and guilted consistently enough through the years that protesting a union of mismatched ethnicities is popularly maligned, but that is not where interracial relationships most commonly draw ire. It is ironically us minorities who are usually the ones to express concern over this issue and, often, our criticism.
Growing up as a first-generation Korean American, I failed to adhere to most of the expectations and stereotypes my immigrant parents had for me. I have limited mathematical and scientific talents, my musical attempts were grand public failures, and I have, at best, a tenuous grasp of their native tongue. My parents effaced all of this with the hope that I would marry a Korean woman who would compensate my deficit of culture with the abundance of hers. Flash-forward to when I started seeing a Caucasian girl. Let’s just say not exactly the best of dinner conversations followed.
Although Mom and Dad couldn’t care less now, my story is common among not only Koreans, but all ethnicities. There exists a looming guilt that somehow by dating outside our race, we are diluting and betraying the culture that took thousands of years to build. Who will carry the torch of our past? How will the grandparents relate to the grandchildren? The burden of remaining true to your heritage comes crashing down on us.
Don’t get me wrong: I am proud to be Korean and do embrace my heritage fully and passionately. I stand for Asian-American rights and issues, and I do publicly try to raise awareness for them. But if someone in my position espouses the value and importance of Asian-American issues, but chooses to be with someone who is not Asian and embodies none of the values I so passionately say are important, how can I reconcile the two facts?
And it’s not just from our parents or culture either. Asian men and African-American women are consistently depicted as unattractive in the media, so when their counterparts choose to date outside their race, that popular image of undesirability is compounded and reinforced. When even your own race seems to find you unattractive, what does that say about you? What kind of chance do you have of finding anyone? As hypocritical as it may seem, feelings of animosity subsequently do arise, and mixed-race relationships can be looked upon with bitterness within minority communities.
Ideally, none of these things would be an issue. We should be able to choose the desires of our hearts over the responsibilities to our cultures as well as our peers. Rarely do we get the luxury of being able to chase our passions without having to juggle our obligations and loyalties, and no matter how romantic one may be, these are realities that must be dealt with. But as Valentine’s Day approaches, so does the reminder that despite it all, it’s all worth it if you’re with someone you love.
Charles Lim (celim@wisc.edu) is a junior with no declared major.
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If people are very concerned about carrying on the traditions and culture as well as purity of ethnicity, they should not migrate to the United States of America! If those do not break down in the first generation, it will by the time of fourth generation. In my experience Asian parents are more concerned about their kids marrying other Asians than marrying whites. For instance I know a Korean family which disowned one of its daughters for marrying a Vietnamese and willed all the inheritance to the daughter who married a white.
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Well, it is true, I don’t mind interracial marriage. I think it is great, as long as you like that person. As long as both ethnic interracial marriage is somewhat balance. But usually, is not, something can be very anger by certain people.
Our society are dominated by Black & White. Therefore, anything in between not too recognizable in the media and society. I think, we as non-Black minority, need to push to get attention, equal treatment, respect, acceptance in the main stream world.
Because so much has been put on civil right fight and movement. Black American constantly trying to invade into the mainstream and everybody’s world my means of integration.
It is not necessary bad but for people don’t get the same level play, it is an issue.
Hispanic is big population, but they still lacking the power in this country, like other minority groups. It is time to challenge among minority groups to get the most out of America.