OPINION & EDITORIAL
Masturbation key to healthy, functional sexual relationships
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Also by Guest Columnist:
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- Security fee shows UWPD's prejudice (December 6, 2007)
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- SSFC squanders student funding (October 17, 2006)
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by Guest Columnist
Thursday, April 19, 2007
This is the fourth part of a five-part series promoting Sex Out Loud's annual Sexual Health Week.
Sex Out Loud facilitates programs about healthy relationships, safer sex and pleasure. Through these programs, inquisitive minds are asking questions about a wide range of subjects; a majority of people want to learn how to do something better. "How can I be a better lover to my partner?" "How can my partner be a better lover to me?" At every program, facilitators are consistently advocating two things: communication and masturbation. Why? Because that's how you'll find the answer.
Unfortunately, this concept is new to most people. Contained within the health classes of our middle-school years, gym teachers and nurses segregated the students based upon perceived sex and guided us through what they determined was essential for our emotional and physical well-being as it related to sexuality. Boys were instructed about the occurrences of erections and wet dreams, and masturbation was passively recommended as a normal part of an active boy's sexuality. However, the females experienced no such recommendations. Instead, girls learned that the essence of their sexuality centered on menstruation and pregnancy. Aside from the strong homophobic and sexist connotations of this health class, this model ignored and deterred women from finding pleasure for themselves or otherwise. Whereas the boys found pleasure intertwined with sexuality from the beginning, the girls learned not to expect pleasure from any sexual encounter. The implications of this are frightening, and further, the truth behind this is simply nonexistent.
The physical benefits of masturbation alone are obvious. The act of having an orgasm or ejaculating creates heightened arousal while epinephrine courses through your body, producing the flushed face, shallow breath and post-climactic euphoria. But more important, masturbation is a great form of intrapersonal communication, which affects your ability to relate to your partner. Masturbation is a self-exploratory method by which you get to know (in the biblical sense) the most important person in your life. The question is, what is specifically unique and pleasurable for you? Do you use toys? What do you like to think about? Do you prefer Internet or imagination? The more you know yourself, the better you can please yourself and communicate that information to your partner. Many partners have enough trouble relating openly about how to please one another, and it is indeed much more difficult if you do not know the answer for yourself. Mutual masturbation, the act by which two or more partners stimulate themselves in the presence of each other, is another way in which masturbation is good for others. Mutual masturbation allows for you and your partner to reveal the map to your pleasure centers. Watching your partner masturbate is a practical way to see the method by which your partner pleases him/herself, allowing for you to use this as a constructive framework or rubric to build upon.
Masturbation also encourages and fosters intrapersonal development, growth and independence. By masturbating, you teach yourself and your body that a partner is not a necessary element of your sexual happiness. You become your own greatest lover — a long-lasting relationship guaranteed. Individuals can find out for themselves the nuances of their sexual landscape and become a vocal, active and assertive partner in communicating those desires. Further, masturbation is an experience by which you learn to want and expect pleasure from sexual play. You can banish the unhealthy thoughts that make you feel like sex is not fun or that you do not deserve pleasure from these encounters.
Just as the ancient yogis discovered yoga as a technique by which the human can strengthen the bond between his body and soul, we believe that masturbation can have the same effect. If a healthy sexuality is something you desire, then you have a responsibility to know as much about yourself as possible and a responsibility to freely communicate that information with yourself and your partner. As responsible adults, we encourage you to pull your weight and masturbate.
Chris Daniels (cwdaniels@wisc.edu) and Jes Levatter (levatter@wisc.edu) are members of Sex Out Loud.
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 3:01am):
Here it is folks, your hard-earned money at work. Our seg fees pay these people $9.24/hr to tell us masturbating is good. SSFC needs to realize that UW students don't need an overfunded student org to tell us to get off. Maybe someone should start up Sleep Out Loud and give it a couple hundred thousand dollars to "raise awareness" about sleep on campus.
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 6:59am):
While masturbating is a noble pursuit I don't see how it has any place at a publicly funded university. Last time I checked vast knowledge of getting yourself was not something you could put on your resume.
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 8:58am):
Of course masturbation is a necessary part of healthy sexuality, but this is the first time I've ever had the information handed to me by my own peers in a way the makes sense to my lifestyle. THANK YOU, Sex Out Loud, for throwing balls to the walls, having no fear, and telling it like it is. You guys rock my world. My next one's for you ;)
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 9:04am):
SLEEP OUT LOUD? That is such a great idea for a student org! Good call, anonymous
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 10:18am):
3:01am - Obviously many people understand that masturbation is good - you play with yourself, you get off, feels great - but did you and do others know the other positive aspects of masturbating? Also, there are many, many people on campus who don't feel comfortable talking about the topic of sex - these people along with many others, aren't getting the correct information concerning their sexual health and well being. I am quite aware that my money is going towards funding this org, and I am quite proud that we have a student org like Sex Out Loud on our campus.
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 10:18am):
"Our seg fees pay these people $9.24/hr to tell us masturbating is good."
It's cheaper than a ho! And you can work it around your busy student schedule! All you need is a little privacy and some tissues to wipe up afterwards.
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 10:21am):
Man I love liberal propaganda. Here are a couple gems:
"segregated the students based upon perceived sex (gender)." As opposed to, what, actual gender? "Tim, you go with Ms. School Nurse." Tim: "But, I'm a boy." "No, Tim, you have long hair and are lanky. You look like a girl from a distance. I perceive you to be female, so you go with the Nurse." The liberals believe gender is a state of mind, and has nothing to do with biology. I'm all for sexual freedom and the right to be gay, straight, bi, bent, loopy, or whatever. But don't butcher the language to perpretrate your agenda.
Here's another: "masturbation is a great form of intrapersonal communication" What does this even mean? Jane: "Honey, it's a quiet evening. Let's just sit and talk." Bob: whips it out and starts jacking it. *Squirt* Jane: "How insightful. I feel like I've really gotten to know you."
Keep up the good work sex out loud, it's very amusing.
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 12:11pm):
This op/ed seriously reads like an Onion article, if only because Sex Out Loud is an perfect example of a masturbatory organization, one who's very existence is self-indulgent in it's waste of STUDENTS' tuition money.
- Liberal who is sick of self-absorbed ______ Studies majors
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 12:59pm):
According to Dictionary.com, intrapersonal is defined as
"Existing or occurring within the individual self or mind."
So . . . I fail to see how intrapersonal communication relates to another person. So your comment is ridiculous, wrong, and frankly missed the point of the whole article. Please make sure to check the definitions of words before commenting ensuring that misinformation is not spread.
So keep up the good work . . . that's all
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 1:19pm):
12:11pm, my sentiments exactly!
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 3:01pm):
So we're supposed to talk to ourselves when jacking off... great. How high are you all when you write these things??
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 3:55pm):
10:21
From the good old dictionary.com
Traditionally, gender has been used primarily to refer to the grammatical categories of "masculine," "feminine," and "neuter," but in recent years the word has become well established in its use to refer to sex-based categories, as in phrases such as gender gap and the politics of gender. This usage is supported by the practice of many anthropologists, who reserve sex for reference to biological categories, while using gender to refer to social or cultural categories. According to this rule, one would say The effectiveness of the medication appears to depend on the sex (not gender) of the patient, but In peasant societies, gender (not sex) roles are likely to be more clearly defined. This distinction is useful in principle, but it is by no means widely observed, and considerable variation in usage occurs at all levels.
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 4:03pm):
In response to the liberal who is sick of self-absorbed ____________ studies majors,
Did you in fact read the article before you so skillfully decided to comment upon it? Or in fact did you just read the words masturbation and assumed that this article was yet another form of liberal propaganda. From what I gathered from the article, the authors are trying to assert that masturbation is a tool for discovering pleasure for yourself outside of a RELATIONSHIP and potentially as a tool to relate that what is pleasurable to YOUR PARTNER.
If it is such a waste of students' money, why does Sex Out Loud continue to turn down programs because there are not enough facilitators to meet the demands of requested programs. If it is such a waste, why do facilitators give talks to packed houses of SEGREGATED FEE PAYING STUDENTS, curious about their own sexuality.
- the positive liberal who is a ________ studies major
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 6:21pm):
from 10:21 am: "The liberals believe gender is a state of mind, and has nothing to do with biology."
Gender is psychological and mental. Sex is biological. The example you give of "gender" makes no sense what-so ever.
Anonymous (April 19, 2007 @ 8:22pm):
Agreed on the apparent biologically-ignorant comment. Gender isn't rooted in biology, as it deals with psychology and social systems. Sex and sex differentiation are biological processes. Pay attention in class next time. It's not liberal uses of the words, it's modern English.
Biology grad who hopes that comment was not made by a bio student.
connor gyles (April 23, 2007 @ 2:33pm):
Masterbation is just sad, honestly think about it you are doing what you can't get any one else to do for you. Plus it is a sin for all you so called "Christians" take your religion seriously for God's sake, but mostly for your's, you masterbating freaks.
Anonymous (April 25, 2007 @ 12:50pm):
This is a valid subject for discussion as it relates to health and mental illness from pent up sexual need or total denial. I am glad to see it vented... Even in a "free and open society" we boast about. If it was regularity with our own bowels its ok but some conservatives go haywire when the subject is other biological functions. They try to deny the existance of sexual function and get upset when you remind them it exists. It's expected, of course. They haven't yet caught onto the metric system, let alone resolved their own sexual issues which are new only to them. Frankly, if old men and priests can't control it, how the heck would healthy hormone-filled youth? I suggest the conservatives would have an easier time if they just cut it off and went on with their lives instead of this constant battle against nature.
Trevor100a@yahoo.com
Anonymous (January 31, 2008 @ 8:07pm):
Well guys, here's one question.. they say, masterbation will weaken your memory, in that case, do u guys have any good method of curing that and one more question, if you stop wanking, will the weakened memory power come back?
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