OPINION & EDITORIAL
Bikers’ safety in jeopardy
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Also by Gerald Cox:
- I'll take a female president, just not her (December 3, 2007)
- Religion aside, faith perseveres (November 26, 2007)
- Want Big Ten sports? Get a dish (November 19, 2007)
- Civil rights movement needs 'Black-In' (November 12, 2007)
Related Stories:
- Bikers have rights, too (February 14, 2007)
- A plea from a biker (September 10, 2001)
- Bikers imperil safety (September 21, 2007)
- Bikers should follow rules, too (September 16, 2002)
- Dude, where's your car? (October 30, 2002)
by Gerald Cox
Monday, February 12, 2007
I have always felt the relationship between Madison's bikers and pedestrians has been marred by disrespect and disregard on the part of pedestrians for us bikers. Nowhere is this egregious behavior more aptly displayed than on the eastbound stretch of bike lane between Park Street and Lake Street. Yes, fair reader, you know exactly what I'm referring to: The bike lane you have uncaringly and illegally turned into a sidewalk. I refer to the area around what was once the dilapidated University Square. Sound familiar? Are you of this ilk, dear reader? A violator of the eastbound University Avenue bike lane? If so, read carefully. You have made your bed, criminal, and now I intend to put you to sleep in it.
And by put you to sleep in it I, of course, mean write a scathing opinion column deriding your insensitive disregard for the safety and schedules of scores of Madison's bike riders — myself included. While walking down this bike lane, do you feel the sudden heat of my unabashed derision as I slip by your hunched and slow-moving form, narrowly missing the cement divider that keeps me from colliding with oncoming traffic? Do you hear the mumbled expletives of disgruntled bikers, intent on arriving at their destination on time, but slowed by your giggly insistence to walk three-abreast down a narrow bike lane? Westbound pedestrians, do you see the glares, once of slight annoyance, now of hatred and violence? Eastbound and most baneful of pedestrians, do you know that, with your backs turned to our approaching bicycles, you make a rather agreeable target for a swift kick to your tender hindquarters?
The bicycle is a statement. To me, that statement says something about my desire to sleep in until 15 minutes before my horribly early 8:50 a.m. class and still be able to arrive on time. The bike tells you that, to its rider, expedience is essential. However, your clear violation of the "Pedestrians Prohibited" signs, clearly and legibly posted — in our native English, no less — undermines the very fabric of bicycling. Perhaps you are unsure of the definition of "prohibited." Perhaps you are unaware that you are, indeed, a pedestrian. Perhaps you are illiterate.
Bicycling is a swift, safe and economical way of arriving at a destination. You illegal post-University Square bike lane walkers have effectively done away with these factors. How, you ask? Well, your inconsiderate actions on University Avenue's bike lane are slowing us down, endangering our lives and threatening extended stays in emergency rooms and hospital wards. Health-care prices are nothing to laugh about, but your uncaring gait and wildly flailing arms — perhaps to better illustrate a story you are relating to several of your friends who are also obstructing the bike lane — are indicative of the hilarity that you attribute to health-care prices and the lives of bikers.
Laugh no longer. I intend to bring your actions to light. What to you may seem a convenient shortcut and a light inconvenience to us bikers is in fact a crime. Section 18.1 of the City of Madison ordinances clearly states that it is unlawful to "gather in crowds or groups, or for any person to stand on any public street or sidewalk in such manner as to obstruct free passage thereon, or to annoy other persons passing along the same." My fellow bikers and I are thoroughly annoyed by your senseless obstruction of our bike lane. Your actions, therefore, are in clear violation of said ordinance.
The great city of Madison has done a wonderful job of providing people like me with a convenient and well-regulated way of getting from point A to point B on a bicycle. However, uncaring pedestrian, your daily disregard for low and order, your insensitive choice to mingle with us cyclists in our rightful bike lane, has resulted in the slow and tepid destruction of the law and order that defines our civilization and has established Madison as a city that all in the Midwest can look to for a bicycling exemplar. I shall offend many a loved one and friend with the following statement: You are no more than a common criminal who violates the sacredness of the eastbound bike lane on University.
I call upon all bikers in Madison to unite. I encourage you not to engage in hateful violence but instead in educating violators with rhetoric. Yell, shout, and scream such statements like: "You are an annoying obstruction, thereby committing an act most illegal."
The fact is we're in this together until Steve Brown gets that building up. It will take the cooperation of both bikers and pedestrians to ensure no one is hurt on this most dangerous of stretches.
Gerald Cox (gcox@badgerherald.com) is a junior majoring in economics and Middle Eastern studies.
Anonymous (February 12, 2007 @ 3:36am):
Maybe the Dane County Board of Supercoolpeople will deal with it. Or not. AK, holla at ya boy.
Anonymous (February 12, 2007 @ 7:23am):
So the bikers' ox is being gored by Madison's famous pedestrian culture? People on machines must yield to those on foot in all cases! Bikes are no exception to this rule. I suspect that if push comes to shove then the bike will not be usable afterward.
I imagine that the auto drivers that are inconvenienced by the bikers total disregard for traffic laws are ROFL at this situation.
Anonymous (February 12, 2007 @ 11:14am):
as a person who bikes everywhere, and in fact works in a bikeshop, quit bitching. yeah it's an inconvenience, but imagine how much of an inconvenience it is for people who already have to walk longer to class than us to cross the street twice unnecessarily so that they won't slow you down. a simple excuse me goes a long way.
amazing job perpetuating the stereotype that all bikers are selfserving assholes though.
Anonymous (February 12, 2007 @ 4:43pm):
@11:14 a.m. There's a biker stereotype? What are you talking about?
Anonymous (February 12, 2007 @ 5:59pm):
Call the cops and tell it to another person who couldn't care less, but actually has the power to do something about it if they did.
Anonymous (February 12, 2007 @ 10:13pm):
I can't wait for the pedestians to do a "take back the streets" protest against the epidemic of disrespect for pedestrians by bikers.
The auto drivers will be rapturous with schadenfreude as the bikers' karma catches up with them for their critical mass law-breaking.
Anonymous (February 12, 2007 @ 11:42pm):
To:"Anonymous (February 12, 2007 @ 3:36am):
Maybe the Dane County Board of Supercoolpeople will deal with it. Or not. AK, holla at ya boy."
Did Ashok Kumar make love to your mother? Why are you obsessed with him?
Anonymous (February 13, 2007 @ 2:53pm):
you managed to write 800 words about a bike lane. wow.
Anonymous (February 14, 2007 @ 11:00pm):
Thank you for this. Pedestrians really need to follow the signs and stay out of the bike lane.
And pedestrians-- If a biker is running a red light, biking down the sidewalk, etc, please yell at them. There are some pretty idiotic bikers too, and they're giving us a bad name. Set them straight.
Anonymous (February 15, 2007 @ 11:15am):
Who cares? Quit being lazy and wake up a little earlier and walk to class. There's a simple solution to everything.
Speaking of laziness, this goes for all you people who get on the 80 bus and ride it two or three stops, crowding the buses (sometimes to full capacity or beyond) with complete disregard for people who have to go farther and are probably on a tighter schedule than you.
"But it's cold!" Suck it up and deal with it, this is Wisconsin. That extra 8 minutes someone needs to wait for the next 80 could make them late to class, while you enjoy your relaxed class schedule but are still too lazy to walk a few blocks.
Anonymous (March 2, 2007 @ 2:45am):
Thank you! Also, when there is a red light, please don't crowd in front of the bike lane, I don't care if the light is about to change. Cyclists still have to fight through all of you to go down the lane!
"Who cares? Quit being lazy and wake up a little earlier and walk to class. There's a simple solution to everything."
For those of us who live a few miles off campus, walking really isn't an option. You bike 4 miles to class and lets see if you consider yourself lazy.
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