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Adult diapers for Democrats only

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Also by Will Smith:

Imus' fate should depend on market, not critics (April 12, 2007)
Deregulation of campaigns vital (March 29, 2007)
Israel right to reject Hamas government (March 22, 2007)
Gore good choice for nomination (March 15, 2007)
Prosecutor tarnishes Libby, justice system (March 8, 2007)

by Will Smith

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Make no mistake about it: the greatest asset the Democrats have is George W. Bush. His failed presidency has allowed the Democrats to hide behind Republican missteps for far too long. Yet the shelter that President Bush's unpopularity provides has rendered the opposition party complacent and lacking in ideas. As the mid-term election grows into a referendum on President Bush, the American public has slipped to a new low of political apathy, demanding no tangible policy solutions from the party that will control the people's house. And when the Democrats gain the coveted congressional majority this election, America will pay a steep price.

One week remains before the election and the Democrats have given us no real answers on the two biggest issues confronting our nation: Iraq and immigration. The most definitive answer on Iraq found in the party's election platform, "A New Direction," is that a Democrat-controlled congress will "hold the Bush Administration accountable" for its mistakes, yet it neglects to articulate a comprehensive plan to improve the situation on the ground. As troop casualties mount, can we really choose a party that would distract congress with impeachment hearings rather than seek a quick and lasting victory in Iraq?

Also, the Democrats' comprehensive immigration reform act sponsored by heavyweight Senator Ted Kennedy, D-Mass., the SOLVE Act, never once addresses improving border security or preventing new illegal immigrants from entering the nation, yet the act encourages illegal immigration by instituting a generous path to citizenship. The Democratic Party's plan is not just appeasement, it is pure negligence.

So what do the Democrats stand for? For a better explanation, let's look to the policy proposals they have made. Rep. Charlie Rangel, D-N.Y., already hand-picked to chair the powerful Ways and Means Committee, has introduced legislation such as the Crack Cocaine Equitable Sentencing Act, which reduces legal penalties for large-volume crack possession. One Democrat introduced the Gas Stamp Act, which will mandate the federal government (read: our tax dollars) to pay for the gas of all those eligible for food stamps, as if free gas were a human necessity. Another representative introduced a constitutional amendment to guarantee affordable housing, a plan that would cost billions and fix nothing. One bill introduced in the House seeks to distribute condoms in prisons. Barney Frank, D-Mass., the presumptive chair of the House Financial Services Committee, has introduced legislation to have the government pay for adult diapers. High priorities, indeed.

The only thing worse than a rubber stamp congress controlled by Republicans is a rubber duck congress controlled by the Democrats. It is disturbing to think of a federal government so feckless as to be more concerned with the sex practices of prisoners and impeaching a demonized president than solving real problems affecting hard-working people. Americans are a smart bunch, but lately we have grown lazy, begetting the dismal state of affairs that confronts us. Yet we can redeem ourselves Nov. 7 by not falling into the unthinking trap of electing the opposition party for the simple-minded reason that it is not President Bush's party.

The Republican congress and president have proven themselves to be the most inept in recent history. Unfortunately, the Democrats seem eager to outdo them as soon as possible. So lower your expectations, America, and hope Barney Frank has a lot of influence in his party. We're going to need those adult diapers, because crap will be coming out of Washington. Will Smith (wwsmith@wisc.edu) is a freshman majoring in political science and religious studies.

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Anonymous (October 31, 2006 @ 2:49am):

shut the hell up, partisan hack

Anonymous (October 31, 2006 @ 9:57am):

So, basically you're saying Bush and the republican controlled Congress suck, but democrats suck more (which has done wonders for this country). . . . . are you serious? What are you, 5 years old?

Anonymous (October 31, 2006 @ 11:10am):

"The only thing worse than a rubber stamp congress controlled by Republicans is a rubber duck congress controlled by the Democrats"

Very clever. Completely meaningless though.

May I recommend studying creative writing instead of political science? Your logic and reasoning is soft, even by sheltered college freshman standards.

Anonymous (October 31, 2006 @ 11:11am):

Good article. As you can see the Liberal comments you received were very well versed. Remember when all the polls said John Kerry was going to take the presidency by a sizeable margin. Hilarious. I cant wait to see the Dems faces when the Republicans keep control.

Anonymous (October 31, 2006 @ 11:26am):

As the infamous former Alabama Governor George Wallace (shot and crippled by a Wisconsinite in the 1970s) said: "There ain't a dime's worth of difference between the Democrats and Republicans!" (listed here in alphabetical order). Both parties are anti-freedom when compared to the 1776 patriots. Shame on us all, especially the shameless religious wackos and their crazy apologists festering among us.

Anonymous (October 31, 2006 @ 2:28pm):

Rubber duck, rubber band, rubber shoes, rubber tires... oh, please don't label anyone else with the "scarlet rubber."

The republicans are bad, the democrats will probably be worse, so we should just "stay the course." Forgive us, George, for ever doubting you. We'll re-elect your disciples next Tuesday.

Clap your hands, brothers and sisters, give an amen and sing along with the chorus: Stay the course, stay the course, stay the course, stay the course, stay the course, stay the course with me...

Anonymous (October 31, 2006 @ 9:19pm):

It's a sad day for our political science department when a poli-sci major insists on looking at a few pieces of junk legislation, introduced for reasons he evidently cannot possibly understand, in order to somehow infer a policy platform.

Dozens of constitutional amendments (not to mention an unspeakable number of ridiculous laws and government programs) are proposed and introduced every year, and in almost all cases, they only serve to somehow score political points. It doesn't mean that our Congress is hell-bent on amending the constitution. Likewise, the author's evidence does not demonstrate that a Democratic Congress will devote its time to goodwill diaper subsidies. Besides, that would take up too many resources that would better be spent holding impeachment hearings. Since those are the only way to hold a president responsible for his actions, of course.

Anonymous (November 8, 2006 @ 8:32am):

Once again, the liberals whine and try to make points that to them make sense but mean nothing. The democrats have taken over and we are all going to be in a world of crap now.