Opinion
Protesters don’t deserve attention
Looking for a print version?
Simply use your browser’s ‘Print’ command and a printer-friendly document will be generated automatically.
Also by Jeremy Elias:
- Idealism on tap at Obama fundraiser (October 16, 2007)
- Madhatters rejected: Time to throw down (October 2, 2007)
- Lisps, stereotypes valid voter topics (September 18, 2007)
- Mesh shorts inspire fanny pack revival (November 21, 2006)
- Teenage adoption enlightening, fun (December 6, 2006)
Sharing tools:
E-mail this article:
While taking one of my frequent walks through Library Mall, it suddenly occurred to me that I'm going straight to hell. You might be asking yourself, "How do you know this?" "What have you done?" or "Gee, Jeremy, how would I know if I'm going to hell?" These are all great questions, but unfortunately, I'm not the one you should be asking. The man with all the answers you're looking for preaches right here in the peaceful Midwestern city of Madison, Wis. Perhaps you've seen this omniscient profit of the afterlife; he is an African American male, about 5'8" and oftentimes wears a T-shirt reading "Homos go to hell."
However, do not make the same mistake I made and immediately dismiss yourself from an eternity with Satan because you are not gay. I am in fact a heterosexual, but I will nonetheless be attending the everlasting inferno when my time here is through. To my surprise it is not because of the 2003 hit-and-run I took part in, but rather because I am a Jew. My Judaism has gotten me into trouble before, but never in a predicament as grandiose as this one. I must tell you though, I am really not worried about this hellish ordeal. After observing our mysterious preacher in Library Mall, I came to realize a lot of us are going to hell. When you think about it, it may actually be kind of fun. I've spent a winter in Madison — can't be worse than a summer in hell.
Although I'm going to hell, I still believe such demonstrations in Library Mall should be dealt with while I'm alive. The fact remains that we attend a very liberal and active campus. Almost every week there seems to be some sort of demonstration occurring on my way to class, and the majority of these public outcries drive me crazy. Countless times over the past three years I've walked to class having to listen to men and women dictate their views on the immorality of abortion as they parade their pictures of an aborted fetus. As someone who is adamantly pro-choice, I abhor these demonstrations. An aborted fetus is a very frightening image, but so is me naked, and that doesn't mean I'm never taking my clothes off again. My opinion on an issue would not be swayed by a few fanatics craving their attention for the week. It is for this very reason that I continue walking to class instead of throwing various fruits and vegetables at these people.
I urge all those who have been enraged by various campus protests, distributions of leaflets or even chalk etched in on the sidewalk to just ignore these acts. It is everyone's right to voice their opinions, and a right that I fully respect. However, when you devote your attention to these demonstrators, screaming back at them and trying to dismantle their beliefs, you are only aiding in their cause. These are people who were never breastfed, their mothers and fathers didn't read to them, in high school they were crammed into lockers and now they are trying to gain the attention they have always been denied. I refuse to satisfy a man's desire for attention by arguing with him about where I'll end up once I'm dead.
As antagonizing as it is to watch a man whose shirt is caked with dandruff and pants stained with grease preach the immorality of Judaism, I never opened my mouth. For that man to think I would ever believe such a preposterous statement is a complete insult to my character. However, if you were also informed that you are going to hell, let me know, we'll do lunch. When you get to a new place it's always nice to have someone show you the ropes.
Jeremy Elias is a junior majoring in communications.
11 Comments | Leave a comment
Leave a comment
Herald Blogs
The Beat Goes On
Brother Ali makes an ‘Exclusive’ stop
Muckrakers
Report: Barrett to make decision by the end of the week
Extra Points
Top Classified Ads (view all)
HOUSES FOR Fall 2010. All houses are on W Dayton or N Bassett. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, or 8 bedrooms. All have parking. madisoncampusrentals.com
good piece except you're attacking him on a personal basis, so turns out thats not really ignorin him at all...
5 points.
Now, can Leftists agree to join conservatives in ignoring the hate-America Left's Krystalnaght-style street riots (euphemistically called "anti-war" protests)?
http://www.zombietime.com/hall_of_shame
Great article.
Many of the protestors want to get a rise out of those walking by and I won't give them the satisfaction. I am amazed when media outlets (cough cough....the daily cardinal) cover protests that have fewer than 25 people. Does this small group of people really warrant attention?
The dandruff comment at the end of the article is not necessary.
Imagine if you had to spend eternity with the people who think they're going to heaven. I wonder if there's an alternative heaven without street preachers, zealots, and that zombietime guy?
Yeah, and so-called good people used to mock Jesus, too. Bring on the RAPTURE!
What protests? I haven't seen any protests on campus since 2002.
great editorial
so they don't deserve attention... yet you wrote an article about them? either in person or in print, you're still giving them the attention they seek.
an amazingly written article about the pundits of being human...touche to jeremy for his view...it makes a madison winter, and a preacher all too common in any city in the america all too real.
Jerry, I think you're swell.
You're a funny guy, Jeremy! And, most talented, I must say.