Opinion
Playboy promotes poor cultural image
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On Monday, my fraternity, Delta Upsilon, made the front page of The Badger Herald and, like most instances when a Greek house appears in the newspaper, it was not for an especially auspicious reason. The impetus behind the media coverage resulted from the publication of a picture featuring members of the house in another well-known periodical: Playboy Magazine.
The pictorial, which ran a full page due to the University of Wisconsin being named the number one party school, has not been met with much enthusiasm by the administration. Interim Dean of Students Lori Berquam has already announced plans to review the photo and, if merited, file a complaint with the Student Organizations Office in order to investigate whether the fraternity broke any rules.
When the photo, in which I did not appear due to grief imposed upon me by my parents, was taken last fall, my initial reaction was most likely typical of what most young men my age would think: Playboy! The opportunity for the fraternity to appear in a prominent national magazine, especially one with the reputation of Playboy, seemed to be ideal. It portended to be a fun occasion to have them down to the house and one that would boost our campus presence along with allowing the chance to see friends in print.
Yet, in the time between the photo being taken and its recent publication, my attitudes and opinions towards what Playboy represents and symbolizes have changed rather significantly.
During this past semester, I took a course in the school of Social Work called the Fraternity Action Coalition which predominantly dealt with attitudes within the fraternity system towards the treatment of women. The class consisted of twelve students who were all members of either my house or Sigma Phi Epsilon and was facilitated by one member from each house.
In the beginning of the course, nearly all of the participants held rather similar opinions on what was and was not harmful to women. Most of the group concurred that Playboy was in no way harmful and that societal expectations that imposed upon women a similar position or demeanor held relatively little reason for concern. Events that the group considered harmful, such as violence, were ones that were obviously wrong but since no member perpetrated such acts there was not an immediate sentiment of responsibility about the problem.
During the course of the class, we discussed "dominant stories" or ideas that are so pervasive within society that relatively few people even question their existence. These dominant stories included the machismo that men are supposed to embody and the idea that violence against women is a private problem. We analyzed how many of the ways men act towards women reinforce the idea of male dominance, from casual acts such as yelling out of a car to much more serious occurrences like physical violence.
From the coursework in the class, though, we learned that while we might not be violent against women, many of the actions that we participate in, without realizing it, result in a society that imperceptibly supports continued male dominance. It is this dominance which leads to violence against women and the continuation of a value system in which women must abide by certain rules that demarcates them as objects for men.
A main idea of the class was that as a "well-meaning man," one cannot be a passive participant when noticing actions that contribute to this dynamic. Instead, one should strive to create an acknowledgement of the shared role of men in modifying the attitudes that lead to the objectification of women.
Playboy finds a niche in this dilemma as well. Women who appear in the magazine do so willingly and many with the expectation that it will lead to bigger and better things. Yet, the magazine reinforces the idea that in order for a woman to advance in life, she must do so not by the strength of her own character or ideas, but through the appeal to men through sexuality.
It is imperative to recognize that while most attitudes and practices will not change overnight, the solution begins with acknowledging the problem and the onus on society to try to amend it. Hopefully, this can serve as an opportunity for the university community to examine this problem more in-depth and to show that everyone has a part to play in ending the attitudes that contribute to it.
Mike Skelly (meskelly@wisc.edu) is a senior majoring in finance and political science.
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UW-Madison’s DU. Hurting women, getting sorority girls drunk and skipping a philanthropy event, and trashing the Iowa DU house.
Great work Greek Advisor, you are running a great campus! A house kicked off, another on probation, and now one that nationally promotes a society against equality for women.
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Mike, I like that cute little choker you’re wearing. Any chance we’ll see you in Playgirl soon? Don’t worry about what that Lori Berquam thinks. She’s only interim, meaning here today, gone tomorrow. She looks kinda scary to me. God, I don’t feel safe going to the bathroom by myself with her around! Such double-standards about sexuality! This is okay for us, but that’s not okay for them. What a bunch of morons these Madison liberals are!
Mike, just keep your head high. We’re rooting for you and your fraternity brothers. You guys are tops! rwwwwwwl!!
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You go, boy!
Another chip off the old block…
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This is simply a gambit to get in good with the girls. We’ve got your number Skelly.
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Thanks Mike. Glad you had time to write the article between your periods. Do you watch Operah and drink Crystal Lite now?
I dont’ buy this idea that certain magazines, tv shows, or small groups of men are forcing every woman in the country to become sluts. The women who get into porn do so by their own choice. You tell me that even one of those girls at the frat party was forced to be there and then I’ll listen to your feminist progaganda.
I see these girls around campus on Friday nights dressed like prostitutes, with their skirts and heels and make up and their incessent, mindless chatter. “Like, oh my god, I’m totally going to, like, do this guy.”
And I’m insulted that you imply that all men are to blame. I don’t make cat calls to women. I don’t go to parties. And I don’t find slutty women attractive.
If women want equal rights then they must also take equal responsibility. It’s their own fault if they decide to behave a certain way. If you reallly want to blame the men, then blame the brainless frat boys.
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Women also need to take responsibility for their actions. The UW girls posing nude in the playboy photo should be ashamed, and some poor guy who makes a comment to her about her photo can be arrested very easily for harrassment or stalking, just ask the MPD.
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Mike,
Thanks for showing how indoctrination works. Did your professors talk about human biology at all. Did they talk about gender differences as they relate to biology or did you just learn that girls play with dolls because they are forced to by a dominate male society.
Dude, the biologic trap is their for all. How many women are attracted to 5’ft 1” men or to the homeless guy talking to himself. We are not only products of Society but also of Biology. Men become good at sports because women are attracted to athelets. Men strive for power because women are attracted to powerful successful men even if they are doughy ex-presidents. We have all heard a million times, “What is she doing with that guy, he must be rich.” Do you think any of the ladies chasing Donald Trump would give him any attention if he lived in a $800 rent controled loft in the bronx. No.
The feminist ideals you heard try to say that Nature plays no role it is all about how society nurtures little boys and girls. Having had a little girl and a little boy, (I prevented my daughter from ever being gifted a Barbie by the way) I have found that you really have to go to extremes to fight Nature. Sometimes you should let your kids play with the toys they like and not try and experiment with them to please a group of people who don’t really understand why biology would make genders so different.
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Mike,
Great article! To those of you that think this is an attack on men, please re-read the article. No where does it say that men are evil. I see it saying that men have a duty to act like a gentleman, not passively watch inappropriate behavior but stand up to it.
Hopefully others take the hint and bring back a bit of the chivalry that today’s society is missing.
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“I see it saying that men have a duty to act like a gentleman, not passively watch inappropriate behavior but stand up to it.”
Gosh, pal, they could use you in North Carolina right now. But alas, men aren’t the only ones who have that duty. Women seem to think they are exempt from that responsibility. Don’t hear any women speaking up about women who rape little boys, do we? The last I heard of a woman speaking out against sexual predators was Julia Harkins’ stupid diatribe last week, where she continues the same tired male-bashing rant that “while most men are not rapists, most rapists are men.”
Like it’s really that important that we believe something that was never proven to be true in order to combat sexual violence. Gimme a break!
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hey- wow, these comments are pretty outrageous and a good example of how defensive some men get with even the mention that they might take some personal responsibility for sexism.
I think these responses are a great symbol of what happens when a man speaks out against sexism. Look at the insults—hes either a girl, gay or brainwashed. These comments are exactly the things keeping men from speaking out about sexism. And these guys who claim that they in no way participate in sexism are pretty harsh on women too.
Lori Berquam is “scary” Girls on campus are “prostitutes” and “mindless” Girls who pose should “be ashamed”
Not one comment there is affirming of women, except that they need to take responsiblity for their actions. Well men also need to take responsibility for their actions.
The comments speak for themselves…
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I think I might be in love with you. If this was just to get girls, it worked.
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Well done, Mike.
Because of all the adverse, ignorant and aggressive comments in response to your article, I just wanted to say as another UW Greek male that I agree with you completely and you did an excellent job portraying a very important point.
Thanks…
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Chivalry? Women don’t want chivalry. Women want attractive, rich guys. Some women go for the jocks, and sometimes those jocks mistreat their girlfriends. I have no sympathy for those girls. It’s their choice not to leave.
And even the girls who have enough self respect to find a decent man still go for attractive guys. Any girl who says she wants “a nice guy” really means she wants “a nice guy who is good looking.” Any girl who says she doesn’t care about looks is a liar.
I’m a nice guy. I’m a really nice guy. And I’m very intelligent. I’ll probably be making a lot of money some day. So why don’t I have a girlfriend? Does it have anything to do with the fact that I spend my Saturday nights in my studio apartment, watching cartoons in my underwear, listening to heavy metal music as I eat mac and cheese directly from the pot? Or is it the fact that I don’t have a nice car: I get around by bike. Oh yeah, girls really find that sexy.
Ok, so I don’t have a point here, but I thought you mind find the status of my life amusing.
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“Any girl who says she doesn’t care about looks is a liar.”
Maybe not, maybe she just wants money.
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This publicity from Playboy is the only good thing coming out of Madison. Madison has become a punchline when it comes to social and political issues. This at least gives Madison something to be proud of.
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As a student at another university, DU is a loser fraternity there too. What a surprise.
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Mike, thank you so much for speaking up about an issue that is extremely important and that affects everyone in our society. I know that it is very difficult for men to speak up about these issues for fear that they will be called gay or effeminite, and I want to reassure you that by publicly stating that violence against women is wrong you are not veering from what it means to be a man, but redefining masculinity in a positive way. You are a model for other men who may agree with you wholeheartedly but who are unsure as to how they should express such sentiments. I also appreciated the way in which you did not “male bash” at all, but that you simply took responsibility as a “well meaning man” to do what you can to combat this widespread societal problem. I appreciate so much that you decided to take such a public stand by writing this article. Perhaps you will inspire others to take action in their own ways.
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Great article. Given that one out of 4 women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime, it seems imperative that we do something. It seems that we need to more than just not engage in violence ourselves, but to change our culture. You are doing just that. I have deep and great respect for the article and the feeling of respect for women that you so obviously hold.
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What about men who are sexually assaulted? Should they be overlooked? Seems when feminists cut off their hair they also remove their brain with it.
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“This publicity from Playboy is the only good thing coming out of Madison. Madison has become a punchline when it comes to social and political issues. This at least gives Madison something to be proud of.”
this is so true.
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Thank you for writing this article. I hope your words make more men stop and consider their role in ending violence against women.
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It might be helpful for people to understand feminism before they start bashing it and using it as an end all be all for the problems women face. Thanks Mike for taking a chance and writing this article. It has clearly served it purpose and gotten people talking about the issues of violence against women. I would like to emphasize one more thing…talking about women and violence and society’s and men’s role in it is not to eliminate women’s responsibiliy or blame everyone else. What it is doing is simply indicating that violence and exploitation is an issue in women’s lives. It is not saying that men don’t have any social pressues to work against, or that men are never raped or any other generalization. It is okay for us to acknowledge issues that certain groups face, it isn’t a condemnation of all other groups and issues. No one person or group can fix these kind of social problems all by themselves. That’s why women need men to help them end the violence.
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It is refreshing to see a guy who actually “get’s it.” Yeah women have a responisblity in this all too, but that does not negate the responsibliy for men.
Also, posing for playboy was probably not the the best image to portray for any Greek organization. Aren’t we always asking for respect from the administraion and faculty? Do we think this is the best way to get it? It wasn’t ‘wrong,’ as in breaking policy, just not the best decision.
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Mike, Thanks for a great article. Sad to see all the negative comments. I work with male batterers. One of their greatest difficulities is in taking personal responsiblity - not only for their physical violence but for their verbal violence. It is so easy to say ‘she provoked me’or ‘she was asking for it’. Part of their classes is studing what part society plays in forming their opinions of women. Thank you for having the courage to write this article.
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Mike, I read your article and the posted comments. I wonder if some of the people who responded really read your article? It was great, it was “right on”, you “get it”! I congratulate you on public writing your thoughts and opinions, it is risky, but you are right and I hope more people really “think” about what you wrote. It’s not male bashing, it’s taking a look at our society and see it for what it is. It is going to take “well meaning men” to make a difference! Thank you for really getting it and haveing the courage to speak out on it!
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Mike, Good for you… After reading this I read some of your other articles and am very impressed. As an incoming UW Law Student it is great to see this kind of thing. The only bad thing is that all those bonehead comments people have written have to be on the same page.
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Great article, with great information! The class sure did you well! I wish that your summary of what you learned in your course was enough to allow all of the angry readers to get the same change of attitude, and the same understanding that you received after taking the course. I’m proud of you for standing up publicly and sharing this information - definitely tough to do, especially with all of the criticism! Keep up the good work, man.
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Great job on the article. The negative and nasty comments serve only to reinforce that there needs to be a continuing dialogue on this issue on gendered violence and cultural norms. It is sad to see that what seems like a very sensible and thoughtful piece must still be considered a “risky” and “courageous” act in this day and age since it shows that not enough good men are speaking out. Regardless, for all of the negative bashing that the Greek system and fraternities get, there is a huge potential for positive growth and change in the system, and that the old adages of friendship and chivalry still remain, which is always good to hear about in a time when fraternities are so maligned. Keep up the good work.