OPINION & EDITORIAL
Catholic utopia poor idea
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Also by Josh Cohen:
- Goldberg wrong on Katrina (February 8, 2006)
- Abu Ghraib behind discontent (February 22, 2006)
- Catholic utopia poor idea (March 8, 2006)
- Majors not for high school students (March 29, 2006)
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by Josh Cohen
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
Who knew that the path to heaven was through Domino's?
Apparently Tom Monaghan did. The founder of the world-famous pizza chain, Mr. Monaghan is also a devout Roman Catholic who in 1998 sold his world-famous business for $1 billion dollars in order to further commit himself to "God's Will." Over the years, Mr. Monaghan has invested serious amounts of his own money into many failed religious-based projects. His most recent undertaking, however, is showing signs of promise.
Mr. Monaghan has bankrolled upwards of $400 million to build the first Catholically-inspired town in America, in Naples, Florida. The town will be constructed around a Catholic university, the first to be built in the United Sates in 40 years. Both will bear the name of the hallowed Catholic prayer, Ave Maria.
Mr. Monaghan has promised that the stores in Ave Maria will not carry condoms, birth control or pornographic magazines. The televisions will not provide X-rated channels and in the center of the town will stand the nation's largest crucifix, at 65 feet.
Mr. Monaghan has said that he is merely attempting to get people into heaven. Some are calling him the "Pizza Pope." It is clear that Mr. Monaghan the Expert Businessman has once again tapped into the American people's demands.
What is not clear, or rather, what is troubling, is whether Mr. Monaghan the Catholic really believes that king-sized crucifixes and playground proselytizing will do anything to contribute to a revitalization of Catholicism.
In a speech to a men's organization in Boston, Mr. Monaghan prophesied that the students of Ave Maria University are the key to our country's future. A traditional, like-minded community like his, he said, is a necessary return to the values upon which the country was founded.
It is impossible not to wonder whether his boastful oratory is anything but the clever salesman preaching to the confirmation-hungry consumer. It is true that the project has roused considerable interest; so did the movie Freedomland. Mr. Monaghan's puritan Disneyland seems nothing so much as the result of a focus group, a logical extension of the self-centered niches that Americans choose to live in.
Mr. Monaghan and his partner, Barron Collier Co., an agricultural and real estate business, will control all the commercial property in the town. Mr. Monaghan claims that the town's Catholic inspirations are merely suggestions, that all are welcome and all are free, but the tentacles of his power betray his rhetoric. Naturally, the ACLU has been up in arms over the potential threat that Ave Maria poses to its future resident's constitutional rights.
The legality of the planned community remains unavoidably ambiguous. Howard Simon, executive director of the ACLU, warned that the town is in for a long string of litigation. The Florida Attorney General, an appointee of Gov. Jeb Bush and supporter of the project, told CNN that if "someone disagrees with the wholesome environment … they have the right to go to court."
The debate, like so much of the tit-for-tat that passes for political dialogue, ignores the fact that responsible, American adults will have chosen to live in the community and attend the university. Mr. Monaghan does not seem to trust his Catholic brethren to resist the temptation of pornography and premarital sex on the strength of faith alone. Similarly, the ACLU seems to view the hypothetical residents of Ave Maria as pawns, unable to choose or speak for themselves. And yet, shameless though their posturing may be, both sides can be understood, if not forgiven. They're doing their jobs.
Whether it comes to fruition or not, it is sad that so much money will be wasted on Mr. Monaghan's utopia. It is even sadder because there exist working American Catholics like Cardinal Roger Mahoney of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles. In response to the Congressional bill H.R. 4437, which would make it illegal to offer support to illegal immigrants, Cardinal Mahoney has called on his parishioners to devote the 40 days of Lent to fasting and prayer for the reform of the inhumane immigration laws.
If Congress does indeed pass the bill, the Cardinal will instruct his priests — and faithful laymen, too — to defy the law. Those who desire to "get into heaven" would do better to join this Catholic's worldwide community.
Josh Cohen (jcohen3@wisc.edu) is a freshman majoring in philosophy.
Anonymous (March 8, 2006 @ 2:21am):
Face it, a real Catholic town would get stale really fast, and it would eventually disincorporate into a bunch of Protestant suburbs. And who'll they blame for it? The Jews again, that's who. I have an idea. Instead of creating an actual Catholic town, why not a 500GB virtual Catholic town on the Internet?
They could even build a cyberchurch with a virtual priest. For gosh-sakes, I play around with 3D Studio Max all the time. Let me create a pope that EVERYONE can relate to! And to top it off, I'd create...here it comes...get ready...drum roll, please...
Main page:
Welcome to Father Darren's CyberConfessional! Click the rosary graphic below to begin.
Next page:
Please select the sins you wish to confess to Father Darren from the following categories. Check all that apply(i.e. Original Sin, Mortal Sin, Cardinal Sin, Abomination, Blasphemy).
Next page:
Please wait while Father Darren calculates your penance...("Kumbaya.mid" plays while user waits)
Next page:
You penance: "Ten Hail Marys"
Begin typing your penance in the text box below. When your are finished, click the "Absolve" button at the bottom.
(Note: Your browser's Copy/Paste feature will be disabled.)
Next Page:
Hallelujah!! Thou art redeemed! Cleansed! Now go in peace!
Before you go, please take a moment to click on our sponsor's link at the bottom of this page, because thanks to them, sinners everywhere have easy access to Father Darren's CyberConfessional. Donations through Visa/Discover/MasterCard/PayPal accepted.
And thank you once again for using Father Darren's CyberConfessional!
Anonymous (March 8, 2006 @ 8:15am):
"If Congress does indeed pass the bill, the Cardinal will instruct his priests -- and faithful laymen, too -- to defy the law."
Why stop with this law? What happened to "Render unto Ceasar"?
Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their consciences. -- C. S. Lewis
Anonymous (March 8, 2006 @ 9:51am):
"The debate, like so much of the tit-for-tat that passes for political dialogue, ignores the fact that responsible, American adults will have chosen to live in the community and attend the university."
That sums it up. Adults will have made a choice. It's funny that the ACLU is already against this idea of Christians "banning" together. Perhaps Americans have the "right" to pornography whether they want it or not. (But I do wonder if they will have a Priest watching over the playground!)
Anonymous (March 8, 2006 @ 11:55am):
Will the Cardinal welcome Sharia when it arrives?
"What I was tackling in my presentation was the roadblock in this issue that I think is presented by the western tendency to think that the sovereign state should be the location of all law for all of society."
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2006/03/is-islam-compatible-with-democracy.html
Anonymous (March 8, 2006 @ 11:57am):
As a non-practicing catholic, I can appreciate what Mr. Monaghan is doing more than the socialist rhetoric that seems to iminate from bishops who also protected the church by moving pedophiles from parish to parish.
We have a problem on our southern border that most politicians refuse to address. For those who view closing the border as racist please consider that Vicente Fox looks more like George Bush than George Lopez. The Mexican Government has exported a large portion of their workforce and the problem of high unemployment and despair due to our poor border control. As a side benefit Mexico gets a huge in flux of dollars being sent back just as Cuba does. Fox wants neither to stop, as without both Mexico would likely become a very chaotic democracy at best.
As a nation we have a right to defend our borders and to establish rules that must be followed by people who wish to imigrate or work in the United States. In addition, I find it unsavory when American citizens root against their own sports teams. I do not pull for Ireland to upset or beat the U.S. in Soccer and find it appaling when Americans cheer for Mexico, Columbia, Cuba whatever versus the country that has offered all races more opportunity for economic well being than any other on the planet.
Anonymous (March 8, 2006 @ 12:15pm):
The funny thing is that Mr. Monaghan can't keep anyone who wants to live in this Utopia of his out, whether it be a Protestant, Jew, Muslim or Hindu. That would be against the Fair Housing Act. Also, it might be decided that the restrictive covenant that would keep those things out of the town would be completely illegal.
On a less legal and more common sense note... how do you keep porn out of a town in this day and age? Not allow the internet or cable TV?
And is it a 65 foot cross, or a 65 foot crucifix? Could you imagine waking up to a 65 foot Jesus hanging on the cross every morning? How depressing would that be? Not to mention the fact tht it would be just about the gaudiest thing in America, and that's a hard prize to win.
I've got a feeling this thing is going to fall flat on its face.
Anonymous (March 8, 2006 @ 4:03pm):
"We have a problem on our southern border that most politicians refuse to address."
At least our problem is with hard-working Catholics instead of welfare-loafing Moslems like Europe has to deal with.
Anonymous (March 8, 2006 @ 4:57pm):
Josh, do you also agree with the Cardinals views on abortion and gay marriage or is he just a useful idiot in your attempt to make a point about immigration.
The Catholic church needs to expunge the socialist leanings that are not found in the most Parishes but flow freely from Rome.
Anonymous (March 8, 2006 @ 6:36pm):
I'm far more interested in how they will be keeping out premarital sex. Can I be the first one to sign up to enforce that one?
Anonymous (March 8, 2006 @ 9:41pm):
"For those who view closing the border as racist please consider that Vicente Fox looks more like George Bush than George Lopez."
All that that proves, is that much of Central America has white aristocratic ruling classes, while much of the indigenous populations are economically and socially oppressed.
Also... how exactly is the Catholic church socialist? I mean, besides advancing the teachings of Christ in regards to loving man before money, not exploiting people, not stealing, giving charity... come to think of it, Jesus does sound pretty socialist. Marx did say that his philosophy was fairly compliant with Christianity.
Overthrow the church and worship money, that's what I say.
