Opinion
Those in aisle seats need a civics lesson
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Also by Bassey Etim:
- Politics only way in life's struggles (May 6, 2008)
- MPD miffs upstanding citizens (April 29, 2008)
- Media a mirror of public desire (April 22, 2008)
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I'm not one to complain about supposed breakdowns in civil society. I try to hold Ingraham's door open for the person behind me. I wince a bit when I hear a sneeze go without a "God bless you." I cringe when shuffling papers and slamming desktops mute a professor with five minutes remaining in lecture. Nonetheless, it is narrow minded to bemoan a loss of civility in modern culture. I mean, have you ever seem HBO's "Rome?" Caesar totally slapped that wench to the ground with alternating hands at least five times.
There is nothing more annoying then showing up to a half empty lecture and seeing that every row of seats is blocked off by two people on the edge, while the middle of each row is completely vacant. Oh, I know you see me. The professor has just started explaining an e-mail that you didn't read or the course website you'll never visit. You know the guy who just walked in is going to ask someone to get up. So you look away, trying not to draw attention to yourself. Hoping an inadvertent glare won't be translated into permission to lay siege on your precious line of empty seats.
The more enterprising of the aisle cloggers might move a few useless textbooks into the field of play. Just to make clear that getting up for a few seconds would be an extreme inconvenience. But now you know you're in trouble. The seat seeker has come between your row and the one behind you. Both of the aisle cloggers look down, engrossed in their lecture notes, deeply interested about how the spacing in the professors last e-mail got messed up. Whew, the moron chose the aisle behind you.
"Excuse me, can I get in there?"
Drat! You think to yourself. Should have been paying closer attention to the side door.
Aisle cloggers, there is an easy solution to avoiding sticky situations like this. MOVE TO THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE!
Okay, so I'm 30 seconds late to class and asking you to get up. Don't look at me like Abraham looked at God when asked to sacrifice his first-born. If you got to class 10 minutes early to play "Falldown" on your calculator, you could have spared 10 extra seconds to move down 5 seats. If you just got to lecture a healthy five minutes early, and by some horrible mistake opened this page instead of the crossword, move down three or four seats.
What is so appealing about the aisle seat anyway? Surely I am not the first person to ask you to stand up for 10 seconds so my butt can slide past your crotch? Or should I give you the crotch pass this time? No. That would be awkward. How about at least moving your backpack. I saw you look at me looking at it. No? Well check out that dust imprint. Yes, these are the new Lebron's. I get it, you sit in the aisle so you can leave early. Who wants to wait 40 seconds pretending to have trouble with your zipper while some ignoramus figures out that a book normally goes into a backpack horizontally?
Well, I see your point. My point is that it is kind of fun to hit aisle cloggers in the face with your backpack if they don't move. On accident of course. While aisle clogging may be fun for you, it's not fun for the seat seeker or the people behind you. I see a mean of 80 cracks a day from girls having to get up so someone can crawl over them to a seat. (Visit badgerherald.com for in depth crack survey methodology.)
Look, I know it is weird to walk to the middle of the aisle and sit next to a guy when the rest of the row is open. It's like peeing next to someone in an empty bathroom, but give it a couple seats and don't ask him for a mint. I'm calling on you to join me and demand that professors in every department, from Tim Allen to David Canon (Alphabetically similar, yes, but not departmentally) encourage an end to the barbaric practice of aisle clogging.
Bassey Etim (etim@wisc.edu) is a sophomore majoring in political science and journalism.
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I sit in the aisle seats because my legs are too long to sit in the middle. The rows are so narrow that my knees press up against the chairs in front of me in most of the lecture halls. In the aisle seats and I can stretch my legs out into the aisle and for once be comfortable. I've never had a problem with anyone asking me to get up so they can sit in the middle--in fact, I fully expect it after choosing to sit on the ends of the row. I can understand how it would be a little annoying after class has started--I know sometimes it's hard to get there on time, as I show up late myself a lot. I guess they only remedy for that is to somehow get there earlier. But before class has started, no one sitting on the ends should be mad about having to move to let someone in, I agree.
I agree with Bassey! I think this is a too frequent occurance on campus!! People need to have a little bit more common sense.