OPINION & EDITORIAL
A critical aspect of marriage involves creating a family
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Also by Joelle Parks:
- Affirmative action has no place at collegiate level (April 13, 2006)
- Local media expedite petty politics (November 29, 2006)
- Campus safety needs high priority (November 21, 2005)
- Obese must admit own fault (April 20, 2006)
- Board of Regents' new disciplinary policy overdue, welcome (December 13, 2006)
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- Marriage: a cultural tradition (January 21, 2005)
- Despite debate, university maintains anti-gay policies, benefits (September 23, 2005)
- A deniable privilege? (February 9, 2004)
by Joelle Parks
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Walking around the Union, a student can find an event for almost anything of interest. There are flyers for many clubs and organizations that include upcoming events. An LGBTQ poster recently gave information for a debate about gay marriage on Wednesday, Sept. 21 at 7 p.m. in the Memorial Union.
It is not uncommon to be confronted with sensitive issues on a daily basis at a school as liberal as University of Wisconsin-Madison. No matter what the issue, no matter how extreme and no matter how much a person may or may not agree with it, it must be approached with respect. It is not okay to judge the issue without giving it a chance in the first place.
While attending UW many students are faced with issues that were never debated in their hometowns. Growing up religious or conservative may have influenced one's ideas about how the world should work. The ability to be open to new ideas is difficult, yet not impossible. Every person deserves the right to feel comfortable in his or her surroundings, regardless of sexual orientation. Hopefully, these students especially, will depart from the knowledge of their past and make new decisions for themselves in the future.
When looking into the future, many have a very similar outline for their life that probably includes finishing college with a degree, going to grad school, getting married, working and starting a family. Most generally think of marriage as a union between a man and a woman, established through a ceremony surrounded by family and friends. A civil union is a bonding that connects two persons legally to one another with rights similar to marriage, although not the same. Not many people aspire to have a civil union with another, yet gay couples have no other choice.
For gay couples marriage is not an option in many states, including Wisconsin. Advancements are being made in states like Vermont and Connecticut that allow civil unions to include many of the same advantages as marriage. Separation of church and state will never be completely separate, as ideals reflect beliefs. Marriage is more than a bond between two people; it is about creating a family. A family is something that gay couples cannot make themselves. They need the assistance of science or adoption to do so. The opposition may say that there are many heterosexual marriages that will never have children because of personal choice or health complications. This is true, but the possibility of creation was once present.
Growing up is different for all children, mainly because of their parents. Some experienced hardships, but for many their biggest fear was their father. No matter what the child did, the one thing that a mother could always say that would elevate the terror in the child's eyes was "I'm going to tell your dad." Gender roles are changing but there will always be a mother and a father, the basis of creating and establishing the family.
For most lesbian and gay individuals, telling their closest family and friends about their sexual orientation was probably one of the most difficult conversations they have encountered, but families are support systems and for most, they will accept the individual for who they are, regardless of sexual orientation. As hard as that may have been, imagine being an adopted child in a homosexual family; kids are not nice, they are honest. This child will be deemed an outcast before school even starts. It's not right, but it's the truth.
The LGBTQ website includes a lot of useful information, including pictures of recently married homosexual couples. Pictures of homosexuals kissing are uncomfortable. Pictures of heterosexuals kissing are still uncomfortable. A person's sexuality is a personal choice; therefore there is no reason to advertise it. In reality, it is not even a choice; it is a fraction of who a person is. What doesn't make sense is that pro-gay marriage groups around the country, especially in Madison, are fighting to keep the public out of their bedroom, but at the same time not keeping their business there. Sexuality is personal business. So is marriage. Maybe everyone should be respectful and keep their bedroom doors closed.
Joelle Parks (jparks@badgerherald.com) is a sophomore intending to major in journalism.
Anonymous (September 22, 2005 @ 4:32am):
I think a more factually accurate title to this editorial would be "A critical aspect of marriage CAN be creating a family." As a heterosexual who has no plans whatsoever to have children (with a vasectomy certificate to prove it), procreating has no place whatsoever in my personal definition of marriage. Following your logic, I should be denied the right of marriage too. But I'm not, simply because I'm heterosexual.
And with civil unions: don't forget how Brown vs. Board of Education ruled in 1954. Separate is INHERENTLY unequal.
If a homosexual couple were to adopt a child, the problems wouldn't be the fault of the couple. They would be the fault of the homophobia prevalent in society at large.
Anonymous (September 22, 2005 @ 10:09am):
Yeah, this is the kind of intelligent, thoughtful commentary we can all expect from a small-town breeder. Discover reality, Joelle. It'll blow your mind completely!
Anonymous (September 22, 2005 @ 11:20am):
I like the logic you use to justify your arguments...
oh wait
Anonymous (September 22, 2005 @ 11:27am):
"Marriage is more than a bond between two people; it is about creating a family."
Marriage, on my own personal level, definitely IS about more than a contract or a piece of paper. But the gay-marriage debate doesn't exist on a personal level at all!
The government of Wisconsin and the US can only make a civil decision about the issue. It cannot make a personal one, it cannot make a moral one, it cannot make a religious one.
The issue is not whether citizens have the right to marry whomever they want. The issue is whether citizens have the right to impose their personal views on others by fiat. I don't think they do. If I want to have a loving marriage and a family, I'm going to have a loving marriage and family. If someone wants to get married and not have kids, great. If someone doesn't want to get married, super. If a homosexual couple wants to get married, fine.
I'm confused as to how that homosexual couple getting a legal document affects my loving marriage.
Anonymous (September 22, 2005 @ 12:03pm):
Joelle, way to spew out a watered down version of anti-gay rhetoric. If you truly intend to major in journalism, I'd hope that you could back up statements like "A person's sexuality is a personal choice" with real evidence. Ask any gay person when they chose to be attracted by the same sex, then write an article with all of their responses. Submit that to the Badger Herald and you will finally have your name attached to something worth reading.
Anonymous (September 22, 2005 @ 2:50pm):
Wait a minute...isn't the pro-gay marriage movement about equality, not sexuality?
Bringing up the "kids are not nice, they are honest." is one of the most tired cliches of this debate. Under this flawed logic, schools shouldn't ever have been integrated because some kids may call other kids bad names.
As for gender roles, my mother was always the disciplinarian in the family. Your sexism is astounding, borderin misogyny.
Pictures of couples kissing (whether heterosexual or homosexual) do not disturb me. What does disturb me is that 21st century American government discriminates against its citizenry in the name of family values, a government that values neither freedom nor families.
Anonymous (September 22, 2005 @ 6:35pm):
This article makes less sense each time it is read.
"The opposition may say that there are many heterosexual marriages that will never have children because of personal choice or health complications. This is true, but the possibility of creation was once present."
There are people who are BORN sterile. The possibility of creation was never present. Where do they fit in with your schema?
Anonymous (September 22, 2005 @ 11:27pm):
Joelle, I seriously don't know how you got into college. An article this mind-numbingly ignorant wouldn't even make it into my church newsletter. I guess when you surround yourself with rich white sorority girls you tend to get a distorted view of the world.
Anonymous (September 23, 2005 @ 1:00am):
Oh yeah, it's real natural for one guy to look at another guy's ass and think "yummy."
Anonymous (September 27, 2005 @ 2:57pm):
I am gay. It is quite natural for me to look at any part of a (hot) guy's body and think "yummy".
This article was insanely stupid. Again, she makes the claim that since gay people are discriminated against, that makes it wrong. Therefore, one could make the same judgment call about black people: "white people aren't nice; they're honest..."
Regardless, antigay discrimination in the law would put gay people and their families at a serious disadvantage. If conservatives think gay children are ALREADY in danger, then WHY do they want to further impede their chances of success in life by stripping away all of their families' civil rights!?!?!?!?!?!
Anonymous (September 30, 2005 @ 3:59pm):
If you ever took the time to research topics before you reported on them you would know that research shows that kids with homosexual parents do not show any psychological deficiencis and they also show better tolerance and acceptance than children growing up in heterosexual families. Also the purpose of marriage is to contractually bind two individuals in teh eyes of the law, not to procreate. Many heterosexual people choose not to have children at all-your vast generalizations are sickening. There is not always a mother and father-this is ridiculous. Tere are many single parents out there raising perfectly healthy children and you don't need a husband to make a baby, you just go to a sperm bank. Also marriage is not personal business, it is a contract with the goverment (whether you choose to incorporate religion in to the ceremony is your own business) and under the goverment it states that all men are created equal, so why then is everyone not privy to the same rights and priviledges. I was trying to be mature when writing this response but I just can't be-you are a frickin idiot and a small part of what is very wrong with the U.S today.
