OPINION & EDITORIAL
We rest our case: a law made to be broken
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Also by Badger Herald Editorial Board:
- A security fee-for-all (December 11, 2007)
- Farewell, Chancellor (December 10, 2007)
- $$FC (December 6, 2007)
- In a bind (December 5, 2007)
- Entitlement Town (December 4, 2007)
Related Stories:
- Living the High Life abroad (January 31, 2002)
- Overcoming the lingual divide (January 29, 2004)
- Plaza: Good drink specials, unfortunately low capacity (September 5, 2001)
- Fighting the 'battle of bulge' (September 24, 2004)
- A hallow compromise (September 21, 2006)
by Badger Herald Editorial Board
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Consider these three situations:
1) You’re just outside the back entrance of Parthenon (you know, the mirage-inducing one that lets you see people eating, but won’t actually let you near a tasty gyro) on your way to The Plaza. From across the street you can see a group of your friends — beers in hands — through the quickly-filling bar’s front window.
All of the sudden, out of the corner of your eye you spot a group of ruffians headed up the street with the unmistakable look of Point-craving in their eyes. They’re still a half block away though; if you scuttle across the street you can beat them to the front door and avoid a line. You aren’t at a crosswalk and jaywalking is certainly against the law, but if you delay you may have to wait in line for 20 minutes …
2) You’re driving home from Taco Bell and by the minute it’s becoming clearer and clearer that the fourth bean burrito might have been a mistake. Your stomach just moved from the “growling” stage to the “falling” stage. Disaster is close, but home is only a few blocks.
The signal up the street switches to yellow. You’re going 30 miles per hour (exactly the speed limit). If you push it to 35, you’re sure you can slide through the light. Speeding and going through a yellow-turning-to-red are both illegal, but getting your car’s interior cleaned may turn out to be more expensive than an improbable ticket …
3) It’s your best buddy’s 21st birthday and he wants to party. As anyone coming of age would, he has planned out a strategic strike on a number of Madison bars. All of your favorite spots — The Gritty, Brats, Monday’s, Amy’s, The Irish Pub and The Plaza — are on the list.
But the fact is you are still a few months from your 21st. You have your older sibling’s expired ID (with a picture that looks remarkably like you) and, in all honesty, you’ve been drinking for a good four years now. Drinking under age and using the ID to join the party are both illegal, but missing an event like this may be even more offensive …
So what do you do? Our guess: you cross, you smash the gas and you tag along— as anyone would. Well, jaywalking, driving five miles over the speed limit and underage drinking; there’s a kindred spirit sauntering into town July 1. Meet the latest law written to be broken: bar-smoking.
Here’s the situation:
You finally make it into Bullfeathers after waiting in a line 50-drunkards-deep. You fight the crowd to the bar and get you and yours a pitcher for the effort. A couple of drinks later, that familiar craving hits.
But it’s just getting to the most popular point in the night. If you walk outside you’re sacrificing your seat, your rights to the pitcher and the 30 minutes of your life it will take to wait in line again. Plus it’s cold out.
Here’s our advice: light up; drag deep; and don’t even worry about the hand of the man dropping down on you. Because it won’t.
The Madison Police Department has already revealed its reluctance to waste valuable manpower on the enforcement of such a ridiculous law. Many bar owners have followed suit (with one even running for City Council with a platform of overturning the ban). If the owners of bars and the Madison Police Department are not going to come after you for your lawlessness, exactly who is?
Don’t take this the wrong way. This board is not, by any stretch of rhetoric, suggesting civil disobedience. That would be a misreading of what civil disobedience is — in function. Smoke-ins, rallies and letters to the City Council are unmerited. But, at this point, it’s not clear that anyone thinks this is going to become an enforceable law. So we see very little reason for the people of Madison to pretend it is.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 3:27am):
You know, I smoke like a motherfucker whenever I drink. I'm gonna be chafing and bitching about this new law when it goes into effect, but the Herald's suggested response probably isn't the best idea - if I recall correctly, if there's going to be any enforcement, it'd be in the form of health code violations assessed against the owner of whatever fine watering hole you've chosen to patronize.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 5:55am):
For fuck sake, get the hell over it; go buy some Zyban and quit wasting your editorial space. Anyone who is that addicted to nicotine needs to do some self-assessment. You are such idiots.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 7:23am):
Wow, you are all going to die at 30 from lung cancer the way it appears that you guys light up. Do you all own stock in JR Morris or something? Jesus, try some gum or something. If you need your fucking fix that bad why don't you just get some snuff to use. Sure it's dangerous and disgusting, but then again so is coming home smelling like everyone elses smoke. Get over it, you aren't in Tomah anymore, you are living in an actual city, and all the big cities in the WORLD are going the way of the smoking ban.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 7:37am):
Ha! That barowner "running for City Council with a platform of overturning the ban" got 22%! Eat it, Herald! Or actually, let ME eat it without the stench of nasty tobacco all over my burger.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 8:41am):
"Do you all own stock in JR Morris or something?"
JR Morris? Are you serious? If you're going to attempt to crticize and be pithy at the same time, at least get the company name right.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 9:11am):
Put a pinch between cheek and gum. My clothes won't stink and you jaw falling off won't disturb me like all the coughing does.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 9:17am):
"Put a pinch between cheek and gum. My clothes won't stink and you jaw falling off won't disturb me like all the coughing does."
Also illegal by the new ordinance...
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 10:39am):
Good, we won't have to step in it.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 10:51am):
If someone does what this article advocates I will call 911 or else file a lawsuit.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 11:33am):
It's not going to happen. Barowners won't let it. If they do allow it they not only get fined but they will put their license at risk. So don't just call 911, make sure the ALRC knows where the violations are happening. Squirt guns do well too!
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 11:37am):
I think the worst part of the anti-smoking ban is, how will I cover up the smell from peace pipe in the bathroom?
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 12:03pm):
Might I suggest US Smokeless tobacco products, Copenhagen or Skoal?
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 1:03pm):
After careful reading of this law, you should still be able to walk into a bar, set a cigarette on the table, perched on something (an ashtray, for example) and light it, as long as you don't touch it (possess it) or smoke it. Just in case anyone has any prtoesting ideas.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 1:13pm):
After careful reading of this column, I wonder if the BH editorial board (perhaps better named the BS editorial board, since their column is pure bullshit) could be held legally responsible for inciting people to break the law. Here's hoping Noble Wray shows up at your offices to drag each of your sorry asses off to jail.
Grow up and accept that most people in Madison disagree with you. If you don't like it, move elsewhere. Texas is always looking for a few more assholes.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 2:14pm):
Did you ever stop to think that maybe some of us NON-smokers disagree with the law based on the principle that we dont want a big brother type government telling business's how to run their establishments. Obviously some oversight is necessary, but over regulation is not. You can try and feed me all the BS about workers health and customers health, but noone forces people to go to any establishment or work in any establishment. Dont like the atmosphere, find a place to your liking, and leave the business's alone on this one.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 2:19pm):
^^ Yeah, why don't we do away with OSHA and all federal regulations altogether!!! If I don't like the fact that working conditions contain dangeriously high levels of toxins, etc I can just get a job elsewhere! :D
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 2:50pm):
What hypocrites you are! Last April, the BH editorial board attacked the TAA's silly strike attempt on the grounds that such an action is illegal. Fire them, you said. Prosecute them! After all, it's the *law*. But when you don't like a law, compliance is optional. Yeah, that's consistent . . .
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 2:53pm):
What part of some oversight is necessary dont you understand? I never suggested getting rid of all regulations.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 2:55pm):
To the non-smoker who objects to the new law on principle: I felt the same way years ago as a California resident, when smoking in bars was banned there. Then I got used to smoke-free bars (and no, contrary to what some have claimed, the economy didn't grind to a halt) and now I can't *wait* for the law to go into effect here.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 3:00pm):
As a non-smoker i will enjoy the smoke free atmosphere as well, but it doesnt change my veiw of not wanting government over regulating business's. I do not understand why in a city that promotes individual rights so much, is so willing to take an individuals rights away once they open a business.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 3:34pm):
Since when does banning smoking in bars infringe upon how businesses are run. They are selling ALCOHOL, NOT cancer sticks. They are in business because of ALCOHOL and food sales, not the $5 they get from the vending machine with smokes. Are you people really that stupid?
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 3:38pm):
"I do not understand why in a city that promotes individual rights so much, is so willing to take an individuals rights away once they open a business."
Oh yeah, this law is such a horrible degradation of individual rights. Society, as we know it, will be in chaos. The markets will crash. It'll be anarchy!!! Go peddle your trite bullshit somewhere else.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 4:45pm):
"I do not understand why in a city that promotes individual rights so much, is so willing to take an individuals rights away once they open a business."
Because nobody wants that fucking smoke in their lungs and clothes. Smoking is a thing of the past and it will soon be banned in every public place. Smokers need to get over themselves or else hurry up and die from the lung cancer.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 6:29pm):
You're all missing the main point. And that is, Why the fuck can't you chew in a bar? It hurts nobody but yourself, and tastes so good. Mmmmmm Grizzly.
Well, how the hell would anybody know if I was chewing anyway, and what kind of bitch would turn me in and "will call 911 or else file a lawsuit." - what a bitch.
Anonymous (April 28, 2005 @ 9:47pm):
One small step for restricting personal liberty, one giant leap for further government intrusion.
You've been warned. Anyone who thinks the city supports personal freedoms is fooling themselves. Madison = Moscow West.
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 1:40am):
Yeah, it's welcome to Mr. Cheslviviekicksjjwfs (nazi) neighborhood
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 6:18am):
"Madison=Moscow West"
Wow you must live in a tiny sheltered northern WI home, because every other major city in the world is passing such legislation. Of course for you Madison probably is "the Big City". Get a life hick.
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 7:23am):
""Because nobody wants that fucking smoke in their lungs and clothes.""
If that were true, why aren't there more bar owners voluntarily banning smoking in their establishments? Note that there are bars who restrict some forms of smoking, ie cigars and pipes (at Nick's and the Nitty Gritty).
""^^ Yeah, why don't we do away with OSHA and all federal regulations altogether!!! If I don't like the fact that working conditions contain dangeriously high levels of toxins, etc I can just get a job elsewhere!""
Federal regulations are a LOT different than crackpot municipal regulations. Smoking is STILL a legal activity. If you don't like it, you CAN find a job elsewhere.
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 9:13am):
EVERYONE is missing the point on this one! Madison is NOT like N.Y. or L.A. where there are smoking bans. It is unfair to business owners. In this SMALL city it is much easier for people to go to other suburbs where they can smoke,chew AND be there in less than 5 minutes. This debate is not just about smoking it's about drawing the line on this city council! Enough is enough! Yes, smoking is bad but no one is saying it isn't. If this was done the democratic way, I myself would not have a problem with the ban. If it was a state mandated ban and the PEOPLE of this state VOTED to have the ban instead of the Madison city council deciding this for all of us!
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 9:24am):
"In this SMALL city it is much easier for people to go to other suburbs where they can smoke,chew AND be there in less than 5 minutes."
Yeah, it takes students 5 minutes to walk to Middleton or Fitchburg for their shitty-ass mall bars? Get real. It isn't going to happen and nobody missed the point. Suburbs can't and don't compete with downtown Madison. It's not even close.
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 11:07am):
"Yeah, it takes students 5 minutes to walk to Middleton or Fitchburg for their shitty-ass mall bars? Get real. It isn't going to happen and nobody missed the point. Suburbs can't and don't compete with downtown Madison. It's not even close."
You are still missing the point. Students are not the only people in the city of Madison last time I checked. Just in case you didn't know the city of Madison extends far beyond UW campus. Don't post if you have no idea WTF you are talking about.
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 11:11am):
By the way, what is a shitty-ass mall bar?
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 11:12am):
What about the town of Madison?
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 12:45pm):
Notice to BH Board: Seriously do us all a favor and die of lung cancer allready and stop wasting editorial space OR move to fitchburg or another suberb and drink and smoke all you want there. You guys remind me of a bunch of whinny brats who, upon not getting thier own way are advocating "I don't like it so I'm not going to do it!" (with a spoiled brat pout too). Fuck off and die, assholes.
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 12:46pm):
"By the way, what is a shitty-ass mall bar?"
Ohhh yeah! Who wants to go to Cheeseburger in Paradise (which takes a lot longer than 5 minutes to get to from downtown if you actually have a car) just so we can smoke inside that really cool, happenin' joint???
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 12:57pm):
Does anyone else NOT see the slippery slope between banning smoking in bars and rule by robots...the horrible, horrible robots?
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 1:24pm):
"You are still missing the point. Students are not the only people in the city of Madison last time I checked. Just in case you didn't know the city of Madison extends far beyond UW campus. Don't post if you have no idea WTF you are talking about."
You should practice what you type, baby.
Now really, are you honestly telling us that all the greeks, for example, are going to suddenly start drivng out to Middleton to try to hook up every weekend when they can just walk a few blocks? All this just to smoke some ciagrettes inside a bar?
As for those other areas, let's look at one like Le Tigre Lounge which is on the periphery. It doesn't have a line of people waiting to get in (as the whiners cry about in their editorial) thus those patrons can just just walk their asses outside for a smoke and walk right back inside just like they have to do at their jobs and a lot of homes they visit. What's the big deal here that's going to lose this bar it's business?
Here's your token for the clue bus...this going outside to smoke thing is not new to the majority of smokers. There are plenty of smokers who won't even smoke in their own homes because they don't want the smell and the yellowed walls and ceilings.
Stick a patch on your arm before you go out and shut the fuck up already.
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 2:01pm):
^^^^^
The above poster should be disregarded because there is no point in the argument made. How many times do we have to say it. This is NOT just about downtown. This is about the whole city and the Le Tigre is a very poor choice for a weak argument. I am talking about the local watering holes who have the regulars coming in day after day, who now might drive 5 minutes to a bar they can smoke in. These small bars RELY on the regulars. The other point is that this was done WITHOUT a vote from the people we had no voice in this ban. The city council invited people to speak but they had already made up their minds, and that is hardly a vote. When will Madison wake up and see they are not the most important thing to happen to this state?
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 4:37pm):
"I am talking about the local watering holes who have the regulars coming in day after day, who now might drive 5 minutes to a bar they can smoke in. "
There aren't going to drive anywhere, you dumbass. All they have to do is step outside for a smoke and walk right back in. That's exactly what they do at work and probably their home too. Idiot.
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 5:31pm):
Don't any of you understand, THIS IS NOT ABOUT SMOKING, it's about a city council forcing bar's/restaurants to put in expensive ventilation systems a few years back KNOWING they would eventually ban smoking out right. I was at the Council meeting when the no smoking vote came out and one council member stood up and asked why the council couldnt wait for a study being done on the effectiveness of the ventilating systems and also waiting for the results of the largest, most comprehensive second hand smoke study. Obviously the council decided they didnt need to wait for any study because this is how THEY wanted things to be. I love the argument that this is want the majority of the population wants, so this should be the law, please remember that when arguing about gay marriage, considering an overwhelming % of the country does not want gay marriage(myself excluded) and i guess majority should rule?
Anonymous (April 29, 2005 @ 6:47pm):
The smoking ban is not about smoking? Seriously, your overanalysis is trite and faulty. Go cry into your ventilation system so it'll cover up the sound of your whining.
Anonymous (May 1, 2005 @ 5:18pm):
The Badger Herald is a shitty little newspaper that offends the senses. It must be destroyed. Let's burn every copy of this rag we can find.
Hey, it might be against the law, but even the Badger Herald editorial board says it's ok to break the law, right?
Anonymous (May 1, 2005 @ 9:31pm):
Besides, even as a smoker I'll say this. The bars could, and most likely will, very easily solve the problems that most smokers will have with needing to go out for a cigarette. Just use a stamp so that people can go outside and have a smoke without having to wait in line again. Or have a little area set up outside the bar that is considered the "smokers area", where if you are in there you are, for occupancy purposes, considered inside the bar, but can go out for a smoke. Honestly, this is a simple one.
It's also a great place for smokers to meet other smokers to hook up with.
Anonymous (May 1, 2005 @ 10:41pm):
"The Badger Herald is a shitty little newspaper that offends the senses. It must be destroyed. Let's burn every copy of this rag we can find."
Then where will you post your temper-tantrums?
Anonymous (May 2, 2005 @ 9:15am):
"Then where will you post your temper-tantrums?"
Like a virus, the BH will just produce more copies. If that poster gets his way and burns them all, think of all the money Madison could save on the warming center!
Anonymous (May 2, 2005 @ 11:19am):
Where are the students of UW to turn to? The cardinal looks like it was produced by middle schoolers and the BH is run by a bunch of egotistical hypercritical morons.
Anonymous (May 2, 2005 @ 2:19pm):
Hey idiots...the "madison is a communist city", or "madison = moscow" doens't exactly work when this city is merely joining Anchorage, Columbus, the entire state of Maine, Odessa, Lubbock, El Paso, the entire state of Utah, Cabell County West Virginia, Bloomington Indiana, and Tempe Arizona, NONE OF WHICH are exactly bastions of Liberaldom.
Of course this lists exludes other "communist" places like New York, California, and Ireland.
Anonymous (May 3, 2005 @ 7:15am):
Damn you communist Madison, where will I get my fix of second hand smoke now?! What about my rights as a non smoker who needs his second hand smoke to enjoy a good beer. This debate is ridiculous. Get over it smokers, you are lucky it took this long for reason to spread into Madison from the rest of the world. Go ahead and smoke, but we don't have to deal with it just because you don't care about your bodies.
Anonymous (May 3, 2005 @ 8:20am):
Actually I do care about my body and I smoke, thank you very much. I eat pretty well and work out regularly. I just don't care about my long term health. Fat people don't care about their bodies.
Anonymous (May 3, 2005 @ 10:29am):
We should ban fatties from bars also. Nothing ruins a good drink or meal like some slobbering fat person. It even is bad for my health because they are so disgusting it make me feel ill.
Anonymous (May 3, 2005 @ 12:41pm):
"We should ban fatties from bars also. Nothing ruins a good drink or meal like some slobbering fat person. It even is bad for my health because they are so disgusting it make me feel ill."
Don't forget stupid people. We should ban them from bars too. They're just so stupid!
Anonymous (May 3, 2005 @ 7:13pm):
Thanks for the somment fatty.
Anonymous (May 4, 2005 @ 11:25am):
"Where are the students of UW to turn to? The cardinal looks like it was produced by middle schoolers and the BH is run by a bunch of egotistical hypercritical morons."
I'm pretty sure the editorial board is like 1/5 of the Herald editorial staff, and as you said, it's a far better paper than the Cardinal.
Just stop turning to the opinion page. That's what I did.
Anonymous (May 6, 2005 @ 3:26pm):
This ban is just pushing business to the nearby municipalities where smoking isn't banned. No city should have the right to regulate a business like this ban does. The pc hypocrites in this town fail to realize this. You don't like smoke, great, get the fuck out and go where you'll be accepted amongst the other hippie(crytes). Open your own smoke free establishment. Maple Bluff/Middleton/Verona bars are going to see a surge in business.
Some Madison bars may not notice any change, others will be trounced out of business by this ordinance but obviously no one in this ignorant town understands that or gives a crap about those folks who's livlihoods will be destroyed by this ban. All under the guise of protecting ourselves. Gimme a fuckin break! If you don't like it, get the fuck out and stop whining about how smokers are putting you at unecessary risk. What a bunch of crybabies this town has living in it. It makes me sick. You choose to establish a smoking establishment or you don't. It's up to you individually but apparently it's easier to have the city protect you cuz the majority of people in Madison are idiots that can't possibly take the initiative to make your own decisions about what places to partronize. Don't punish the ones who disagree with you, just don't patronize the establishment. Dumb fuckers! "Save me from myself" seems to be the sentiment I'm getting from the morons around here and no amount of pc bullshit can convince me otherwise. Those of you who agree with this ban are dumbasses, plain and simple.
